As salamu alaykum,

 

Thank you for writing to our live session.  You stated that you had a traumatizing experience last night. You described that you had feelings in your heart and you could not identify what is was, but it kept you up all night. I can imagine it was very distressing.  You also stated you felt something tight, grabbing around you. I’m not sure if you meant that you felt something was tight around your chest grabbing you, or you would hold yourself to calm yourself down. In any event, it sounds like you could be having anxiety or panic attacks which can be truly frightening.  However, I cannot diagnose you, only a doctor or therapist who does an assessment can tell you what it may be.

 

During these feelings of panic or anxiety, you found relief by saying bismillah or Allah, but you had a hard time staying focused it seems.  This is not uncommon as we tend to have a hard time to stay focus when we are in fear.  It triggers a “fight or flight” response biologically.

 

I would kindly suggest that you do make an appointment with your doctor to rule out anything physical. I am sure your doctor’s appointment will turn out fine insha’Allah, and it is always a good place to start.  Insha’Allah, please make an appointment with a counselor who can assess your situation and make a correct diagnosis. It is my feeling, however, that you may be suffering from panic attacks. Oftentimes people with panic or anxiety disorder do experience them at night time. Sometimes it becomes so severe that one becomes very afraid. In your case, you stated that these feelings make you panic but not as much as before, so I am wondering if you were diagnosed with anxiety or panic disorder in the past. If it is coming back, please do seek treatment. You also stated that along with these feelings of panic or anxiety, that you fear that you will lose your connection with Allah (basically). You stated that your tears went away (unable to cry?) and you hope that your fear of Allah doesn’t go away either. From what you have said, it sounds like you feel numb.  I may be wrong, but often after an intense anxiety or panic attack, the person can feel drained or numb.  This may be due to all the emotional and mental energy used up trying to fight off the anxiety/panic. The mind needs a “rest time” afterward to regroup.

 

These symptoms and feelings are quite common with anxiety and panic disorder as previously stated. Please do make an appointment with a counselor so you can get an evaluation and ongoing treatment if it is recommended.  I would also kindly suggest that you engage in some relaxation exercises such as deep breathing and dhzikr, so you can gain control over what you are feeling and come to a feeling of peace. Stress reduction helps a lot. Also, regular exercising, eating healthy, as well as other positive lifestyle changes, can be very useful.

 

Concerning your question about someone going through trauma due to a guy, first of all, there should not have been a relationship with a guy.  It is haram.  Insha’Allah this girl has repented, knowing Allah is most merciful and loves to forgive.

 

Additionally, if one feels that the guy was traumatizing because she looked too thin, it may have been an emotionally abusive relationship.  In this case, the girl should seek counseling to prevent a possible eating disorder from starting, as well as to increase her self-esteem and self-worth.  She should strive to be healthy, eat good foods, exercise and take care of her body as Allah swt created (gifted) her with that body.  She should not harm or despise it.

 

Regarding the possible anxiety/panic-do dhzikr, make duaa and stay close to Allah. Read Qur’an daily. You will find many comforting ayats in the Qur’an that will give you comfort, peace, and blessings.

 

I know this must have been a scary experience.  Please do make an appointment with your doctor, and a counselor.  Please let us know how you are doing. we wish you the best.