Question
Z (30_female_Pakistan)
As-Salamu Alaikum. My brother’s wife has falsely accused my brother of torture and harassment. She has left home and took his four months old daughter. My brother is a true gentleman and has always treated his wife with love and care. But she is under her mother’s influence and does not respect him. Her mother is a witch and is into black magic. They live in a small room in a disrespectful area. My brother is worried about the safety of his child. He has tried to convince her to come back home, but she is not listening to him and has posted her profile on a matrimonial site. My brother is heartbroken. He is ready to divorce her on the condition that she gives his daughter back. She is blackmailing and demanding money. Please guide a father about his rights and duties towards his infant daughter. According to Islam, can he demand full custody of his child?
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Wa ‘Aleikom Salam,
With a few months daughter, it looks that the relationship between your brother and his wife is not very old. However, are you really sure that your bother does not mistreat his wife? People are often different inside from what they are on the surface. If he is actually torturing her, what is the actual reason? Is it that his wife is involved in a non-Islamic practice? Or is there any other problem? You need to assure and verify the actual story. Once you are clear on this, you can re-assess the relationship between the couple over the past few months. Were they always fighting, or has the relationship suddenly taken a fluctuating route? If this is the case, magic might be one of the causes. Parents always want their children to flourish. If you say that your sister-in-law’s mother is the one reinforcing such a behavior in her daughter, how sure are you? What could be the possible reason for breaking a marriage?
Magic is a reality that has also been verified in Islam, and there are verses like Surah Al-Nas and Surah Al-Falaq as a solution for these problems. Recite these regularly, place your faith in Allah, and pray for things to benefit each person. Magic is highly forbidden where the person involved will suffer. Quran says: “A sorcerer will never prosper wherever he goes.” (20:69)It also appears that your brother’s wife is more interested in money than showing affection towards her child and her husband. Maybe you can actually talk to her and find out what the problem is. There is a possibility that she might want to come back, but her family’s pressure might not let her. Try talking to her and see if she confides in you. Convince her to give the relationship another chance for the sake of the child.
In marital conflicts, children usually suffer to an extent that their future is adversely affected. For this reason, parents must learn to compromise, communicate, and solve issues that affect each other. You need to get to the core of the problem because there must be something that is triggering such a response.
When it comes to child custody, after divorce the custody of the child, in your case a daughter, goes to the mother until she gets married. However, it is best for the parents to come up with a mutual agreement. In the case of a non-following mother, or a mother who is seen to be involved in adultery, or who is unable to up-bring the child, the custody can then be taken by the father. It is, however, best not to keep the child away from his due rights of a proper brought up. A child should by no means suffer because of divorce. Since your brother’s wife is already on a lookout for another marriage, the custody can be taken by your brother if he is able to take care of the child. Please contact your local imam and/or a lawyer to get more information about your options and rights in case of a divorce.
May Allah help you,
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About the Counselor:
Atika Ali Hussain received her BA in Social Sciences from Shaheed Zulfikar Ali Bhutto Institute of Science and Technology (SZABIST) and has 3 gold medals in Psychology. She has been working as freelance writer for 6 years for WriterBay and volunteering in an orphanage. You can contact her on her blog: www.attyguideblog.wordpress.com
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