Do you know the story of Tha’labah?
He was a young companion of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Prophet Muhammad sent him on an errand. When he finished his work, and on his way back, he looks at something haram.
He looked for a little while and then he turned away. He felt so bad about what he did that he refused to go back to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) fearing that Allah would have sent down a verse from the Quran about him saying that he’s among the hypocrites.
So he stayed there.
Prophet Muhammad looked for him, but he couldn’t find him. So he sent out Abu Bakr and Umar. They kept searching for him for days, even weeks. They found a shepherd and they asked him about a young boy with his features.
“Are you asking me about the crying boy? We hear him crying up there in the hills every night.”
They waited for him. And the shepherd said he comes down and drinks some milk from my goats just to survive.
When he came down, he was withered, pale and sick. When he saw Abu Bakr and Umar, he tried to run away, but they caught him and said that Prophet Muhammad wanted him.
He was so afraid that he said:
“Why? Has Allah mentioned me among the hypocrites?”
“We don’t know.”
Think Well of Allah
When they brought him, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) asked:
What is wrong oh Tha’labah?
“Did Allah mention me among the hypocrites?”
Prophet Muhammad said:
O Tha’labah, what do you hope for?
“I hope for Allah’s mercy.”
Then what do you fear?
“I fear Allah’s anger and wrath.”
Why don’t you turn to Allah’s mercy and forgiveness more than what you are turning to fear now? You will find that Allah in the way you assume of Him.
So, he did so. He repented to Allah and asked for His forgiveness. Because he was so pale and sick, Prophet Muhammad was visiting him. He said:
“I feel like my body has a million ants crawling upon it.”
Prophet Muhammad said:
This is death. You’re dying o Tha’labah.
Tha’labah died beside Prophet Muhammad with his last hope, being the hope of Allah’s mercy and forgiveness.
Turn now to Allah with your heart and with your mind. Reanalyze your intentions; fix the contract which you have between you and Allah; keep everyone out of your mind and focus on you and your Lord. And think of Allah in a good way, you will find Allah this way in the hereafter.