If you find yourself in a hopeless state, where you feel like your heart has in fact become hard, and you have developed this sort of a problem.
Sometimes, the appearance of the religious personality is very intimidating; it’s hard to talk to them; you’re scared to be around them… because they’re going to talk down to you about something.
You’re afraid of them! Sisters that don’t wear hijab cross the street and go the other way: “Oh, here she comes again, a hijab police! She’s going to tell me something and make me feel bad…”
Now, on the one hand that’s paranoia, but, on the other hand, sometimes it is true. There are people that are very condescending to others; they’re arrogant towards others.
Tell me this! Weren’t you a party animal not too long ago? And when people tried to tell you about it, how did you behave towards them? Did you forget where you came from? How far Allah brought you?
Remember Where You Used to Be
People forget where they used to be, and where Allah brought them. And then years later they see someone who’s a party animal and said “Astaghfirullah!” How could you be like that! Where were you? That guy should remind you of yourself. You were exactly like that.
So, you should remember Allah’s favor upon you.
And remember the favor of Allah upon you – when you were enemies and He brought your hearts together and you became, by His favor, brothers. And you were on the edge of a pit of the Fire, and He saved you from it. (3:103)
To have love between your hearts you have to remember you used to be at the edge of fire yourself, then you got pulled back and it wasn’t because of you. It’s not because you’re a really smart person and that’s why you deserve to be pulled back. Whose favor was it to you? It was Allah’s favor to you. How dare you look at somebody else and think like that?
Let Go of Ego and Arrogance
This arrogance is a horrible thing. It’ll wipe out all the goodness out of you. And it is, most of the time, our youth who end up into heated debates about whatever, if it’s a theology issue, if it’s a fiqh issue… Usually what the root problem of the debate is, it’s ego. It’s really a big ego. That’s all it is.
People talking about scholars like they’re talking about some athletes. “You know that guy, I don’t like what he says.”
Excuse me! Do you know what journey he made for the sake of Allah? Even if you disagree with him, the fact that he left his home and traveled halfway across the world to seek knowledge and spend nights and nights praying and memorizing and studying… You’re going to just pass a comment on him like, “I don’t like what he says, I think is deviant!”
How dare you? What have you done? What puts you in that position to be able to say that? And you know if you disagree with a Muslim and you think they’re wrong, what should be your first attitude towards them? You should pass a verdict on them that they’re headed to hell, or should you genuinely be concerned for them?
And if you were genuinely concerned for them, you wouldn’t talk to anybody else about them. Who would you talk to? Themselves! You would go and talk to themselves.
If there was sincerity in you, you would address your concerns to them, not to anybody else. But this shows lack of sincerity, this shows ego, this shows you’ve got your team, you’re rooting for your side and you’re just going to make comments about the others. That’s immature, arrogant, egoistical.