In Part 1, we discussed the virtues of having patience, as well as some of the various ways we must exert patience, and why.
We discussed having patience while practicing the deen, when faced with crisis, with jobs, finances, and anger.
We will continue further examining other ways we must use patience in our daily lives.
In Conflicts with Others (Friends, Family, Strangers)
Rather than reaching out and strangling the person that is irritating you, hold back, and remind yourself that Allah rewards the patient one, and watches over all things.
As long as you are pleasing Allah, no one can cause any harm (physically or mentally) to you if it is not His will.
{If aught that is good befalls you, it grieves them; but if some misfortune overtakes you, they rejoice at it. But if ye are constant and do right, not the least harm will their cunning do to you; for Allah compasseth round about all that they do.} (3:120)
If someone is treating you in a poor manner, don’t return it to them with the same behavior. Remain patient and return with kindness and you may be amazed at how things can turn around. Don’t fuel the fire and drop to their level by acting the same way. You may find them to be a loyal friend in the end.
Put your trust in Allah. When Allah is on your side, nobody or anything can harm you unless it was prescribed to you as a test.
“And know that if the nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, they would not benefit you except with what Allah had already prescribed for you. And if they were to gather together to harm you with anything, they would not harm you except with what Allah had already prescribed against you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.” (An-Nawawi, 19)
When Faced with Sinful Matters
An example being, when a person finds out it is not allowed to drink alcohol or have sexual relations outside marriage, this person tries his utmost best to refrain from these things, even if they have the urge to do so.
When one is afflicted with something due to having committed sinful acts, such as illness or a disease, this would be a punishment from Allah. Avoid sins as much as possible to avoid the consequences, and repent and ask for forgiveness. Otherwise you will face the punishment in the hereafter which would be much worse.
Obtain happiness by remaining calm and patient when faced with such matters. When you obey the commands of Allah, He will bless you with something better!
When Giving Dawah to a Friend or Relative
Do you have someone in your life that is hesitant to hear, read, or learn anything about Islam?
When it comes to friends or family it can really be a test of patience because they may insult you, Islam, the Quran, or even Allah. It is a long road but be patient to reach the final destination.
Patience is a requirement in these situations and you must display the ideal behavior of a Muslim. Do not resort to returning insults or yelling, or fighting over matters. You will never get through to them if they see a negative attitude from you. Over time they may open their hearts and minds, but you must have patience, patience, and more patience!!!
Marital Relations
Marriage is about compromise and learning to forgive one another, and most importantly – having patience in times of disputes. It is easier said than done, but this is the key to a successful marriage. So, next time you argue over household chores, or financial matters, or the stresses that in-laws bring, look over it and forgive. Choose your battles wisely to have a loving relationship minus constant tension.
Patience does not mean to suffer in silence either! If you are abused, you have the option to divorce in Islam. The Prophet said:
“When a person suffers from a calamity and utters: ‘Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un. Allahumma ujurni fi musibati, wakhluf li khairan minha (We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return. O Allah! Compensate me in my affliction, recompense my loss and give me something better in exchange for it), then Allah surely compensates him with reward and a better substitute.” (Muslim, 918)
When Umm Salama made this du’a, after her husband died, she found herself married to the Prophet (peace be upon him)! Divorce is not the end of the world as you may know it to be. There is life after divorce, and an opportunity for a happy one at that!
Children
O’ the joys of parenthood! Children can test your patience as if it was their only purpose for their existence…. especially in their teens.
Raise your children with a solid foundation for life based on Islamic teachings with patience and Insha’Allah, they will be respectful, pious, and a comfort to your nerves.
When children are acting up, keep your cool, have patience, and treat them how you would like to be treated with respect and honor, and they will cause you less stress when they see you respect them even though they are younger than you. Nothing beats having a happy home filled with the joys of having respectful children, but you have to give it to earn it in return.
Desires for Something in the Dunya
“…By Allah, I do not fear poverty for you, rather I fear that you will enjoy ease and plenty like those who came before you, and that you will compete with one another as they did, and you will be destroyed as they were.” (Ibn Majah, 5)
Are you caught up in the desires of this world?
Having trouble “keeping up with the Khans”?
When you are caught up in this cycle of always desiring something better, remind yourself that to earn the rewards of Allah, you must turn away from this type of thinking and remain patient for the rewards for your steadfastness in the hereafter.
Living in Hardship or Ease?
Did you know that the most affluent of people in this world will be dipped in the fire and the most destitute will be dipped in Paradise?
On the Day of Judgment, mankind will be told:
“O, son of Adam, did you find any comfort, did you happen to get any material blessing? He would say: By Allah, no, my Lord. And then that person from amongst the persons of the world be brought who had led the most miserable life (in the world) from amongst the inmates of Paradise, and he would be made to dip once in Paradise and it would be said to him. O, son of Adam, did you face, any hardship? Or had any distress fallen to your lot? And he would say: By Allah, no, O’ my Lord, never did I face any hardship or experience any distress.” (Muslim, 2807)
When New to Islam
Patience is a foundation of faith. If you lack patience, you are lacking faith.
New Muslims must exert a lot of patience when they accept Islam, because they will face many trials and tribulations, and if lacking patience, one may be tempted to leave Islam and they will lose in this life and the hereafter:
{And among mankind is he who worships Allah as it were, upon the very edge (i.e. in doubt); if good befalls him, he is content therewith; but if a trial befalls him, he turns back on his face (i.e. reverts back to disbelief after embracing Islam). He loses both this world and the Hereafter. That is the evident loss.} (22:11)
Conclusion
“…He who remains patient, Allah will bestow patience upon him, and he who is satisfied with what he has, Allah will make him self-sufficient. And there is no gift better and vast (you may be given) than patience.” (Al-Bukhari, 6470)
May Allah grant all of us patience in the world to earn the pleasures of the hereafter.
Ameen