Manners: Gifted or Earned?

Morals can be defined as the reflection of man’s inner deep self. Man has two images: an apparent image which is his outer physical appearance; and, an inner image which represents his inherent innate self. The former can be described as attractive, ugly or ordinary; while the latter can be described as good or bad. This is what is referred to as morals or ethics.

This raises a very important question: are morals gifted or acquired? In short, some morals are gifts from Allah while others can be earned and obtained through striving against one’s self on the way of purification and seeking moral perfection.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to pray to Allah to perfect his manners and refine them as saying, “O Lord! As You have beautified my image, so beautify my manners.” (Ahmed) Here, he is referring to the above outer as well as inner images of the human self.He also used to supplicate to Allah, saying,

“O Lord! I seek refuge in You from dissension, hypocrisy and bad manners.” (Abu Dawud)

Asking Allah to endow him with good manners and protect him from bad behavior, the Prophet is reported to have said:

“…and guide me in the best of conduct for none but Thee guideth anyone (in) good conduct. Keep bad manners away from me, for none else but Thou can remove bad manners from me. Here I am at Thy service, and Grace is to Thee and the whole of good is in Thine hand…” (Muslim)

Based on the above, a true Muslim should be marked with good manners as good manners are one of the objectives of the mission of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). Allah says in His Ever-Glorious Qur’an:

{It is He who has sent among the unlettered a Messenger from themselves reciting to them His verses and purifying them and teaching them the Book and wisdom– although they were before in clear error.} (Al-Jumu`ah 62: 2)

The ‘purification’ mentioned in the above ayah (i.e., verse) encompasses purification and disciplining of the soul in accordance with the best of all morals as well as refining the soul and riding it of dirt be it physical or spiritual. Hence, one can derive from the above ayah as well as the aforementioned hadiths that morals constitute one of the most outstanding objectives of Islam and the mission of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him).