Am I Childless Because I’m a Sinner?

Being Childless is a Test

Am I childless because I’m a sinner and Allah is punishing me?

I know this is a touchy subject, but for those who haven’t been given children in this world:

Unfortunately as a community, sensitivity is not always our strength. With the vibrant mix of culture and accents, people can say some really insensitive things which many times are unintentional.

Sadly, childless couples are very often on the receiving end of those comments. As a result, many sisters, in particular, start to feel deficient and question Allah’s decree.

1- Allah says in the Quran, {Wealth and children are the adornment of this worldly life.} (Al-Kahf 18:46) However, we read in another verse:  {Your wealth and your children are but a trial.} (At-Taghabun 64:15)

In that sense, just as Allah tests some people with wealth and others with poverty, He tests some with children and others with being childless. Just as not having money is in no way a sign of Allah’s displeasure, being childless does not indicate that Allah’s not pleased with you. Rather Allah tests us all in unique ways knowing what we can and can’t handle.

Childless Women Aren’t Deficient

2- A childless woman is in no way “deficient” or “incomplete”. One of the greatest women of all time whom the Prophet (peace be upon him) described as having perfected her faith was Asiyah Bint Muzahim (may Allah be pleased with her). She was the wife of Pharaoh and never had children, yet Allah mentioned her in the Quran as an example for all believing men and women.

So, don’t let insensitive people make you feel like you are any less than anyone else.

3- When Allah mentions the story of Al-Khidr in the Quran, He mentions a couple losing their young child, and this is from Allah’s infinite wisdom. We don’t know what the future holds and why Allah gives and withholds. We believe that it’s always for our own good.

4- As long as you are trying to have children, do not stop making duaa to Allah. The Quran has many examples of righteous people who had children in their old age.

Your duaa can do wonders. But when you make duaa, ask Allah to grant you children so they can serve Islam as Prophet Zechariah  did. Your certainty in the duaa is in Allah’s ability to grant you a child and His wisdom and mercy to do so if it is best.

Foster Parenting

5- Last but not least, consider foster care/adoption while observing proper Islamic etiquettes that maintain the identity of the child. The need for Muslim foster parents cannot be overstated and it’s something all of us should intend to do whether we have children or not. The reward for caring for an orphan is unique and grants one closeness to the Prophet (peace be upon him) in the Hereafter.

Perhaps you wouldn’t have considered becoming foster parents had you been able to have children biologically. That could be the extra motivation that causes you to care for an orphan and earn Jannah with the Prophet.

📚 Read Also: Is Adoption Permitted in Islam?

I hope that in coming years, couples with or without children step up to the plate and start filling this void inshaAllah.

May Allah bless us all with the best of this world and the next. May Allah comfort those who have been disappointed or devalued in this life. I pray to Allah to make us amongst those who are delighted and elevated in the next. Amen.

Source: Imam Omar Suleiman Facebook Page