Prayer and Tawakkul

“There is no way I could have made it through without my faith in Allah. I didn’t have a job that could sustain my financial needs and I had four children that needed me. I had to believe that Allah would take care of me. I had to pray intently at night for what I needed. Allah came through with everything I asked Him for,” Saudia Shabazz told AboutIslam.net

Divorce is extremely painful but Allah promises his help and aid to those that call on Him. Muslim women are often faced with the burden to create a life independent of being maintained and protected by men. This can be a daunting endeavor for many Muslim women but Allah is sufficient for those that put their trust in Him.

“Say: “Allah is sufficient for me. In Him trust those who (rightly) put their trust.” (Surah Az-Zumar, 38)

Financial Planning

One of the greatest challenges facing homemakers and newly divorcees is dealing with an immediate change to their financial stability. This challenge often keeps a lot of women shackled and fearful to remove themselves from an abusive or unhappy marriage.

“The first burden I was faced with was figuring out where I was going to live and if I could afford to take care of my kids on my own,” Saudia explained to AboutIslam.net.

It is essential for Muslim women to always stand mindful of the implications of proper financial planning before, during, and after marriage.

It is highly encouraged for women to either have a skill that they can utilize if they were faced with an immediate change in their husband’s ability to financially provide or they should be encouraged to have adequate savings. Although these are ideal recommendations, this may not always be realistic for every woman.

In Saudia’s case, she didn’t have a financial plan nor savings. She had her duaa and a skill set. She had to use what Allah provided for her and verily Allah is the provider. 

Co-parenting

Divorced parents often disagree about who and how their shared children will be raised. Navigating a cooperative co-parenting relationship is essential for the success and well-being of the children.

In fact, research shows that children whose parents have divorced are more likely to experience injury, asthma, headaches, and speech impediments than children whose parents have remained married.

The chances of these occurrences can be drastically decreased if both parents commit to amicably co-parenting.

“I made a firm decision to make co-parenting peaceful. I provided the space for my ex-spouse to feel comfortable with me, especially in front of the children. I developed a relationship with his new wife and created an atmosphere of peace. This had a drastic impact on my children’s ability to handle the divorce peacefully,” Saudia told AboutIslam.net.

Find a Support Group

It’s no secret that divorce comes with significant loss; loss of family, friends, and community. There is a culture of blame in our communities, which results in people unintentionally aligning with one spouse over the other.

This trend is extremely hurtful for women challenged with the pain of heartbreak and loss. Muslim women are at risk for depression and losing faith if they are isolated and marginalized from their community. Therefore, it is essential for women to identify a support group and establish a new sense of community for themselves.

Saudia recommends finding other women with shared experiences to connect with during the initial stages of divorce. Counseling and therapy can also increase the probability of women healing adequately, according to Saudia Shabazz.

Lastly, if you are unable to find a tribe of women organically, perhaps you should consider creating a group and space for divorced women to be supported during their process of healing.

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