Identity

Hergesheimer said adult converts have a need to physically identify with other American Muslims just as much as children. Because of that, he takes pains when meeting with new Muslims to dress as he always has, not in what many consider typical or traditional Islamic garb.

“I personally stress the importance of maintaining how I look because I don’t want people to think they have to change who they are when they become Muslim,” he said.

“As far as (feeling involved in Ramadan), we really need to get converts into the community because the month is supposed to feel different and you’re supposed to act differently. If you don’t feel that experience that then it’s just 30 days of starving to death, and that’s the dilemma.”

Both Sabur and Hergesheimer said, beyond the mosque and public programming, the spirit of Ramadan has to be nurtured at home. Ultimately it’s up to individuals and families to decide how they want to celebrate and what they want to gain from such a spiritual time.

Hergesheimer keeps his `Eid ritual simply but fulfilling.

“I pray `Eid salat and that’s followed by going to my longtime friend’s house and eating donuts and drinking coffee in the sunlight on her back porch,” he said. “It doesn’t sound like much, but she’s like my sister and it’s the closest thing to an `Eid family gathering I have. It’s what I do and wouldn’t change it for anything.”

For Sabur, she takes her celebrations to her neighbors in a gesture of dawah and holiday sharing.

“We make cookies for our neighbors in the shape of moons and stars and we bring them a plate of dates,” she said, adding the simple move has gone a long way toward dispelling fears they had about Islam.

“Now they join us for play dates and tea time,” she said.