As parents our main objectives are to raise children that are responsible, mature and independent. We all want to achieve this goal.

We want our children to be good decision makers, to know how to develop good relationships and to be able to deal with the ups and downs of life.

For many parents, their overwhelming love for their kids leads them to command their lives. They think that their child can only be successful if they are there protecting them all of the time. If a child is struggling with a school project the parent is their overseeing that project to make sure the child gets a good grade.

We end up acting not only like a child’s parent but their maid, their secretary and their handler. We think it is important they get good grades and get into good universities. We therefore don’t let them do any chores. Like this we are not helping our child.

If we let them just study without doing any chores and then expect them to go to marriage where they are responsible for so many things, it will be so overwhelming for them. We are setting our kids up for failure when we do that.

We have to give our children responsibility. Give them chores and household tasks from a young age. It teaches them responsibility and how to be independent.

We should consult our children and also allow them to make their own decisions. We make every decision for our child because we want them to benefit from our experience. However, Islam teaches us to consult with others. Prophet Ibrahim (PBUH) did this when he dreamt he had to sacrifice his son. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) also consulted the children in his family and asked their opinion on what he should do about important issues.