Question 1 – Crush

Assalamualaykum, there’s this boy in my class that I have a crush on but he doesn’t know and I’m not planning on telling him either. But everytime I want to look at him and see if he’s looking at me but I always try to stop because it’s Haram but I’m not sure, is it Haram or can I look at him? I have no intention of having a relationship with him because one time I told my crush that I liked him (I wasn’t Islamic back then) and we “dated” for four days lol and I just had to break it up because I didn’t like him anymore. I just want to know what is Haram and Halal when you have a crush on someone. Thanks for your answer.

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Question 2 -How do I overcome feelings of excruciating embarrassed after repenting from a sin

How do I overcome feelings of excruciating embarrassment after repenting from sin?

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Question 3 – Marriage

I would like to get married, but I am poor. I am not indigent alhumdullillah, but since converting to Islam in 2019, I’ve never actually reached the nisab threshold. I try to learn more about Islam as much as I can, I do my salah on time,  I go to jummah,  I try to give in charity when I can, and I volunteer around the mosque. I just moved to a city that has a decent amount of Muslims living here. I came from a relatively small city in NC where there was only around 100 Muslims in total. No one there was able to help me locate someone for marriage. I honestly don’t know what to do, I have a hard time imagining someone saying “look at that guy with almost no money, no college degree, who doesn’t have his own place, he looks like marriage material.”. To be frank I try and look away when I see couples who look happy, because it makes me sad. At this point I just kind of assume I’ll be alone forever. I just turned 27 last month, and I was finally able to get out of my parents house as well. Neither my mother or step father were particularly happy with me converting to Islam.

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Question 4 – OCD

Aoa i have been diagnosed with ocd. I deal with doubts about my faith in everything. I feel like iam doing kufr all the time,or that i dont believe in Allah and i dont love my religion. I can’t ask for repentance because i dont understand and iam not clear if i have intenions of asking forgiveness or iam just paying lip service even at times i say the shahada i dont feel like i have intentions of entering islam i asked a scholar from a trusted site he says saying shahada is a proof in itself that i have intentions i felt relaxed knowing this but now because u don’t really get rid of ocd at all i feel like there are times when i am okay and don’t have doubts on my intentions so i should make my intentions clear in those situations and again ask for forgiveness or say the shahada. I just feel like he said that because i have ocd or he would tell me i should purify my intentions. Iam soo scared that i freeze up eveytime someone talks about the religion, i get silent panik attacks from time to time and juat feel helpless. Alot of the thoughts i get i can tell they are just misgivings but i get soo many thoughts all the time sometimes i feel like i actually have done kufr as i feel like i repeat and continue the thought i get in my head. I do know some patients with ocd do get their thoughts confused and think that they are thinking it but i feel like in my case i am really saying and doing all of those stuffs. Iam a student nad it is extremely difficult to even read a paragraph bcz i get these thoughts of a kufr word or blurred words which i continue to intmsert in the lines i am reading, and what is scarier is that at times i agree and think of the feeling and the thought which says that the word is a kufr word. Its like having a thought when u think of a certain think like who must have done it and u don’t always get the name but sometimes u do but there is also a feeling and thought that says it must be him/her when u think of the answer and now u go ahead and agree with it not like saying maybe its him/her but by simply doing it without saying it i don’t know how to explain this but its just someting u do in ur head and i feel like doing that is agreeing with the thoughts that says its kufr or the feeling and is kufr itself.

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Question 5- Separated from my Child

Asalama Alaikum.I married in October 2017 and separated in 2019 September.We have one Boy born in 2018 who is 3.6 years now.We got engaged 5 months before the marriage.Even before marriage there were lot of problems from my mother in law and her family.For every small thing they created an issue.We thought of cancelling the engagement but anyways went through it.My wife is a child of a single parent.Her mother is very possesive and obsessive of her only child.Due to constant interference from her mother and my wife being ungrateful our marriage started to fell apart very quickly.I cared for her.Celebrated her Birthday took her for dinner and parties but she never looked happy.She always made faces.I always told her that ‘Action speaks louder than words ‘But she never understood.She got pregnant in the first month itself and hardly did any household work.Even though in India wife’s work till their 8 months.We had a cook and other maid for household work but she did not appreciate anything.Her mother kept complaining that she is becoming thin.She used to interfere in everything.Thinking that I am giving my wife trouble.I cared for her,took her to all scans and for check ups.She never appreciated it.Once she stopped talking a certain medicine prescribed by a doctor.But she stopped taking that medicine without any advise.SO I took her to the Doctor.I tried her in anyway I could.Once she drove me to my college as I was finishing my masters as she knows how to drive.Her mother lacked basic understanding and she kept interfering and once called my mom saying how can your son take her and why did you ask my daughter to drive.

She spoke rudely with my mom.Even though she is not suppose to as it is not my mother’s fault.Also my wife willingly went with me.As she did not hesitate to come along.From then on we started fighting almost daily..My wife played games with me.She was never happy with me.She complained about many things.I told her if she wants to leave she can leave.But even though she wanted me to leave she never left and instead called her uncle to humiliate and insult me.She was never straightforward never.She lied to me everytime.She filed a case of extortion and other cases against me and my mother.Now I have filed a case to meet my son.Everyweek I meet my son in court for only 1 hour.The Question is I MISS MY SON A LOT AND I WISH HE IS WITH ME.THE PROBLEM IS I CRY A LOT.I CRY VERY HARD MORNING AND EVENING,SOMETIMES FOR HOURS BECAUSE I MISS MY SON.I feel we should not have separated.I can’t get out of it.I don’t know how to stop crying.Things are beyond reconciliation now.As she has filed cases against me.

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Question 6 – Want to marry a girl with sinful past.

Hi. Im in love with a girl who had a sinful past. In 2019 i caught her sending some sensitive pictures to some guy (not fully nude). Upon confronting her she said she was manipulated and was forced to do it. The guy was sending her messages daily for years to send him fully nudes and videos of her but at the max she did was sent him a photo of her without the shirt only that too after years of that guy asking and telling her that he loves her. As i confronted her she was ashaned. she blocked that guy and never did anything like this again till date but it also opened many other Pandora boxes. In her early teens she had an affair with her cousin and she told upon asking that they used to go into the bathroom to do sneeky stuff. this lasted for 6months. She did everything except sex with her cousin. After knowing that i couldn’t help myself as i have always cared for her and told her that i love her. She fell head over heals for me but i just couldn’t bear whatever she did and left her 6months after by saying that all of this is too much for me. She was devastated. Now she’s a really religious girl who never leaves namaz, reads Quran everyday. I know that she has changed 180 degrees.  After leaving her for 2years now she’s back in my life as i just couldn’t stop loving her and the bond i have with her. Still im a little angry on her past. When im Talking to her everything is going good but as soon as we say goodbye i start getting angry over her past. Its a 50-50 love hate relationship for me but she truly, dearly loves me. She knows more about Islam today then my Hafiz friends. Not only that she has made me a good muslim. I want to marry her but im afraid i might not be able to treat her right. I dont know what to do. Im devastated over her past but at the same time i dont want to leave her and this time it will 100% break her to the core. She’s a girl who has been through so much pain i just can’t give her more suffering. Should i continue with my plan to marry her?

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Question 7 – Deciding about the marriage proposal

As Salam U Alaikum. As a normal person, for many girls I meet in life in college, office, family etc. some kind of attraction and feelings get generated in heart for some and for many other girls there is no feeling of attraction the heart is neutral. Recently I got a marriage proposal I went ahead and had said yes considering that the girl is of good character, religious and their family is very cultured plus she is good looking. I have been rejecting girls who are religious and of good character plus from good family since the last couple of years for the same reason that no feelings or attraction are getting generated in my heart when I see those girls. I thought if I continue to do this way maybe ill become blameworthy by letting go such good proposals. I have seen my cousins struggling to even get one good proposal and I am blessed to have got so many proposals but I have been rejecting them due to my issue. But after saying yes, deep down my heart I have this thing that no feeling has generated in my heart when I saw that girl and I am forcing myself for this. I have done similar kind of mistake in past(not marriage but female friend with whom I thought I would have love marriage didn’t had any feelings for her and had to let her go) and lost close to 6-7 years of my life with my health destroyed and career stagnant. I don’t want to repeat same mistakes, I don’t want to hurt others. What should I do, since the marriage is not yet done there is still a chance to avoid doing mistake. Please guide me. I have done istikharah many times.

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Question 8 – Death

From last 20 days , i have a feeling that my death is very near . I do dream some weird things. I have weird feeling . Suffering from severe mood swings . Crying over really small things and also on happy things. At night my body becomes heavy .And i offer now salah.

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