Marriage

Q:

I am not interested in Marriage. How can I convince my parents?

A:

Marriage is a choice; you don’t need to marry if you don’t want to, as long as you do not fear falling into sins.

On details on the legal status of marriage in Islam, I would like to cite my previous answer:

“Although marriage is generally considered a highly recommended act, yet from the point of view of fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence)—because of diverse circumstances—it can readily fall into one of the four categories listed below: Fard (obligatory) or mustahabb (recommended) or haram (forbidden) or simply halal (permitted).

1. Marriage is considered fard (obligatory) if a person is so tormented by sexual desire that he/she fears falling into the sin of fornication. Since staying away from fornication is obligatory, and since marriage is the only avenue for legitimate sexual satisfaction, it becomes obligatory on such a person to get married. This is based on the principle in jurisprudence that says: “If an obligatory thing cannot be fulfilled except by fulfilling another, then fulfilling the latter becomes equally obligatory.”

2. If, however, he or she is not so tormented by sexual desire, and, hence, there is no fear of falling into sin, then it is highly recommended to get married if one has the means to do so. By doing so, one is fulfilling one of the great Sunnahs of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), our perfect role model.

3. If a person knows for certain that he or she cannot fulfill the duties required in marriage, and there is no fear of his/her falling into sin, then it becomes haram for such a person to get married. Islam forbids us from doing injustice to another person; this would definitely be the case if one were to neglect his/her spousal duties.

4. If a person has no means to marry and is, therefore, incapable of fulfilling his spousal duties, but has strong desire, it is permitted for him to get married—provided he tries earnestly to seek an honest source of living. Allah has promised to help such a person. We must also add here a further note that the Muslim community has a duty to assist such people until such time that they become self-reliant.

If, however, no such measures are available, and a person finds himself unable to fulfill his spousal duties, he is advised to curb his desires through the discipline of fasting and other acts of sublimation.”

So, you are free to marry or not to be married. No one, including your parents can force you to get married. Even as they have no right to force you to eat a food you don’t love to, they have no right to force you to get married. If they do, such a marriage is considered invalid.”

Lastly, although your parents cannot force you to get married, their actions may be born of their anxiety over your future, for as parents, they are concerned about how you can manage by yourself once they are gone. So, don’t be rude towards them; instead, respect their feelings and understand why you choose not to marry and let them know you can take care of Allah.

I pray to Allah to guide you to choose rightly and bless your choice.

 Allah Almighty knows best.

Thursday, Jan. 01, 1970 | 00:00 - 00:00 GMT

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