Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving

All praise is due to Allah. Peace and blessings be upon His Messenger Muhammad.

First: The essence of Islam is to entertain the sense of submission to Allah the Almighty and to feel no resentment toward any of His laws and injunctions.

Muslims believe that Allah is just, All-Knowing and All-Wise. Thinking of any of the divine injunctions, either in the form a Quranic verse or a prophetic tradition, as unfair contradicts the essence of faith.

Allah the Almighty says in the Quran what means, “it is not ever [befitting] for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decreed a matter, to have for themselves a [contrary] choice in their affairs.” (Al-Ahzab 33:36)

In another verse, we read, “But no! By your Lord, they will not [truly] believe until they make you the judge of whatever [disputes] break out among them, finding, then,  no [sense of] constraint within themselves, as to [complying with] what you have decided- submitting [to it willingly] with a pure submission.” (An-Nisaa’ 4:65)

Second: Surveying Shari`ah injunctions regarding human actions, scholars have pointed out that Shari`ah commands and prohibitions come in proportion to human inclinations.

In other words, when man inclines naturally to or has desire for something prohibited in the Shari`ah, the warnings become more severe and take various forms in order to serve as strong deterrence.

Likewise, commands that one inclines to fulfill are not as much and as strong as those that one inclines to violate.

For example, parents naturally incline to take care of their children and this is why the Shari`ah injunctions to parents are not that much. The case is different with children whose dutifulness toward parents is not driven by such natural inclination. This is why many injunctions in the Qur’an and the Sunnah have asserted dutiful treatment to parents. This point is important why certain injunctions and warnings have been directed to wives but not to husbands while others to husbands not to wives.

Third: A collective description given to a group of people applies to the collectivity of individuals but not necessarily to each and every one; simply because such description was given based on a common feature or attitude that could be missed in some individuals. This rule is very important to understand both bad and good description given to any collectivity of individuals including wives.

Fourth: Shari`ah makes balance between rights and responsibilities. The rights given for parents, for example, correspond to the big responsibilities they have towards their children. The same can be said about the rights and responsibilities of husbands and wives.

Fifth: Muslim women should be cautious of the wicked feminist ideology which propagates ideas and philosophies that contradict Islamic teachings and principles related to the relationship between men and women and the role of each gender in the society.

Allah the Almighty has given women their rights insomuch that Muslim women should be in no need for such aberrant movements.

Sixth: In principle, the marital relation between a husband and his wife should be based on mutual love and respect. But as problems and disagreement are expected in any human relationship, there has to be limits, rights and ultimate reference.

From the Islamic point of view, it is the husband who is responsible for the family and thus all its members have to obey him since he is usually keen for their benefit. This obedience is necessary for the stability of any organization or institution. But in principle, “No obedience is due for a created being in disobedience of the Creator”.

A Muslim wife has to obey her husband as long as he does not command her to disobey Allah. Thus a husband may prevent his wife from doing something permissible; though he might be sinful for doing so if he has an evil intention behind such prevention. This would be misuse of one’s right, which no righteous Muslim husband should ever do and for which one could be sinful.

Still, however, spouses should maintain harmony in their marital life and should always have the ultimate goal of pleasing Allah the Almighty.
Almighty Allah knows best.