Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh,

As you are aware Allah is watching all of your actions and they are all being written down and you will be accountable for each deed. However, the pen is lifted in certain cases, one of which being fornthose who are not in a sane state of mind. If you were not in a sane state of mind when you commit sin then you would not be held accountable for these things. Only Allah knows the state of your mind at this time to know if you will be accountable. Since you are aware of what you have done and k own of them to be sinful, there is no harm in asking Allah for forgiveness in case it may be that He does hold you accountable. Allah is the Most Merciful and li es to forgive so turn to Him. This will also soften your heart and make you less likely to commit such sums again for fear of angering Allah.

If it is indeed the case that you do have schizophrenia then this likely places you amongst those who are not in a sane state of mind and therefore would deem you unaccountable, however, as yet, it seems you have not had a formal diagnosis. The symptoms you state are like that of someone who is suffering schizophrenia, however, there are also similarities with that of someone who is experiencing waswas also. There is no way that someone reading these things can make a diagnosis, you would need to be assessed both medically and spirituality to be sure of what your diagnosis truly is.

You should go to your doctor to get an assessment for a psychiatric disorder to confirm if it is schizophrenia that you are experiencing. If this is the case, you will be given medication to manage the symptoms and be referred to a psychiatrist and/or psychologist who will be able to advice you on managing the symptoms as there are also psychological interventions that can complement medical treatment that can be delivered to assist schizophrenics manage the symptoms and make life more comfortable.

If it is the case that you are in fact suffering from waswas then this is something that you can treat yourself with. It is important that you repel such voices by ignoring them and seeking refuge with Allah. Remember Allah in all that you do and give no room for the waswas to take over. This can be quite difficult at first as Shaytan does not like to see you engaged in acts of worship and getting closer to Allah and will do his very best to deter you. Your challenge is to fight this and not act upon these voices and even increase your acts of worship so Shaytan sees that his voices are having no effect and will leave you alone. Once you have reached this stage, you must continue with this so as not to let the whispers of Shaytan come back again, because he most certainly will try.

As well as seeking medical advice from your doctor, seek spiritual assistance from your local imam who will be able to advice you your symptoms from a spiritual perspective, such as performance of ruqyah which is always a good protection for you anyway, regardless of whether what you are experiencing is a case is schizophrenia or waswas.

Regardless of the diagnosis, take you difficulties to Allah and ask Him to save your from these difficulties. Turn to Him at all times as a means of protection and guidance.

May Allah grant you a full recovery from your ailments. May He forgive your sins and guide you on the straight path bringing you ease along the way.