I want to go to hajj to please Allah but have a young adult daughter with disabilities who is non verbal. We cannot find carers who can look after her and care for her ourselves alhamdillilah. We want to go to hajj but know she would not be able to tolerate it due to her problems and this would make it be difficult for her and difficult for us. We cannot go separately because it would place too much of a burden on the one left behind – I love that we have a responsibility and feel like I want to go to hajj but equally know I would neglect the responsibility of caring for our daughter. Right now I feel that sacrificing my hajj for the caring of my daughter is correct – but am I right – I made intention to go to hajj because it is up to my rabb to call us. Is it incumbent in us to do hajj given our circumstances? Can we pay for someone else to do it for us? Am I being selfish?
Hajj is not a priority on you now – if there is no one to take care of your daughter. So I would advise you to wait until your circumstances change. If it does not change any time soon, you may ask someone to do it on your behalf by paying him or her.
However, the person you delegate should be one who has already done Hajj.
You need not grieve over this situation for Allah is All-Merciful, and He will compensate for you and reward you for taking care of your daughter with love and affection. It is a true form of jihad meriting great rewards.
Allah Almighty knows best.
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