as salamu alaykum sister,

Shokran for writing to our live session.  I am sorry to hear about what you are going through with this man and his parents.  As I understand, you were in a relationship with a Muslim man and got pregnant.  It appears that he is not following Islam and you are not following Christianity, for in both religions there is to be no sex before marriage.  As you are 5 months pregnant already, you will be having the baby soon.  What has he said as to his responsibility towards you and the baby?  Were the two of you in love?  Did you have plans for the future?  If so, I would encourage you to talk to him about these plans and if he is open and you both still having feelings for each other you could each start practicing your religion, and get married.

At his age (and yours) parents really should not be a demanding force in their children’s lives.  They are to be in the role of friend.  However in many cultures, there are values and traditional norms that take precedence over and intermingle with Islam (and Christianity).  This is not good and causes much harm.  The harm of these cultural expectations right now is that a beautiful baby is about to be born and the grandparents are rejecting all contact.  However, is the father?  He is a grown man, capable of making his own choices-but depending on his cultural norms, he may not be use to doing so at this point.  Sister I would kindly suggest that both you and this man, have a talk about what you both will do once this child is born.  If he is unwilling to take responsibility, I would get a court order to mandate him to take care of his child.  If there are feelings between the two of you-get married and insha’Allah seek God’s forgiveness and start following-practicing your religion.  If you chose to revert to Islam because you feel it sincerely to be the truth then alhumdulilah.  If not-Muslim men are permitted to marry practicing Christians.  However as neither of you are practicing at this point, it is something to think about especially as you will be bringing a beautiful baby into the world.

Sister if he does not step up, please do move on.  Your life and your baby’s life are too precious to waste on a man who cannot stand up for what is right.   Allah will take care of you and your child-depend on God sister, He does set things right.  Also, please know this is not Islam.  If you have ever read Qur’an, you know this is not what Islam teaches-in fact it’s despised by Allah.  The way his family is acting is indeed haram as well.  Just as in Christianity-we look to the teachings-not too the people as people fall short-but Allah swt never does.  You are in our prayers dear please let us know how you are.