Dear Brothers & Sisters,

Thank you for participating in the previous counseling session about hardships and struggles with your questions!

Due to the counselor’s limited capacity of answering questions, here are the 8 questions that our counselor has provided an audio answer for.

We apologize for not responding all the other questions.

If you have not received an answer below at this time, please submit your question to one of our upcoming Live Sessions. Thank you for your understanding.

Question 1. I feel regret from my past and feel like I ruined this relationship and I feel a lot of regret and don’t know how to move past it

I was in an online relationship with this Muslim guy on and off for two years and he had interest in me first. I just wanted to be his friend but I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. We clicked on the first day. And he wanted to be more than friends and I didn’t want him to leave because he was something fresh and new and positive in my life so I agreed to be in a relationship with him and he was also being pushy when I said I’m not sure if online relationships work out. After a month or two he kept being pushy and begging me to remove my clothes on camera. This was going on for a while until I decided to give in and after that I got triggered and cursed him out and then blocked him and came back after a month to explain what happened bc he said it was sudden. And then he said OK he won’t do that again and he didn’t want to use me, he only does it with people he likes and that he was sad I left. And then, I think he was still acting sexual but not as much and I felt so mad but I didn’t say anything, I stayed strong and didn’t show him anything this time and then he broke up with me and said he can’t do online anymore and he prefers it face to face. He made me so horny, so I went back to a different ex and did stuff on camera with him because this new guy I met I wanted it to be pure and fresh and not send him anything as I repented from showing a body part to him last time and repented from my ex. I wanted him to be a fresh start because he is the first guy I ever liked. After 5months I went back to the Muslim guy and cut contact with my ex and I feel guilty but at the same time we were never together because he broke up with me and the same cycle of breaking up and getting back together continued for two years. I’ve been sexually abused multiple times as a child which is why I behaved like this but Alhamdulillah I have changed and stopped sending nudes. That one time I went back was a relapse and I feel really regretful. I never had any support from a therapist or family or friends during the time I sent nudes, I was alone with my pain. I really liked this guy. Do you think that Allah has separated us because I went back to my ex and sent him nudes. Did I ruin everything, I feel deep regret. I just wanted it to be pure and blessed and halal with him. I feel really upset as well like I’ve been used by the Muslim guy, but he never answers me when I asked him did you use me, he just says this is the answer that I want, he ended up blocking me for good. I feel so sad and rageful because I feel used by this guy that I wanted something new and fresh from him. the first guy that I truly liked because I find it difficult to connect with people like that who make me genuinely laugh and connected. I did eventually get therapy in between the going back and forth cycle and doing a bit better Alhamdulillah but I am still struggling. Please I feel like it’s not been working out because of my mistake with my ex even though I was single. I feel so sad and disappointed in myself. Feel like I have ruined myself because of my past. I kept going back because I feel like I was a prisoner to him after I showed myself to him because I was ashamed and wanted it to be special with that one person, I feel upset that I did that when I was doing so well. Do you think that Allah took him away from me because I did that stuff with my ex? I feel so sad

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Question 2. Love marriage in halal way

I am relationship with a guy at past 3 year. But due to family issues and some misunderstanding the guy leave me. When I call or text to him…he will start scold me.so I decided to stop such type of haram relationship and start a halal way to ask him to marriage to Allah.so I stop all kind of contact from that person. But I want that guy in halal way of marriage with permission of parents and way of Allah. There is any dua or suggestion to me?

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Question 3. My marriage is collapsing

I would like to know how can I deal with a disturbed marriage because of my mother-in-law that seems to always invade my privacy with my husband and doesn’t want to stand her boundaries. While I had always tried to respect her as we live in the same house.

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Question 4. I Want to Marry a Rape Victim

As Salam Aleykum, I had asked a question before but I didn’t quite understand the answers so I will ask a more brief question. Should I marry a woman who has been raped or not? Knowing that she is very pious and that I love him? I believe her and trust her completely. She has nothing to reproach herself for and she is very pious and I love her very much.

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Question 5. My husband isn’t accepting my change as hijabi

Assalamu Alaikum,

During marriage time my faith was not that strong and when my husband asked me to be a flexible girl within our religion, I agreed to him. We tried to follow Islam as much as possible but also used to party, eat non-halal meat, etc.

Now from past couple of years I have started understanding Quran more and more, and trying my best to follow it as much as possible. I’m doing 5 times of Salah, reading Quran regularly, fasting during Ramadan, giving zakat, no interest on money. My husband used to argue for some days about each of these when I started following them and then let it go.

Recently since this year Ramadan I started doing hijab, and he is very much against it. How much ever I try to convince him, he is not agreeing for it. And the hard part is both his family and my family are trying to convince me to take the hijab off and agree with what my husband says. My husband is telling my family that he would divorce me if I don’t agree. I really love him and don’t want to leave him and I’m worried about our kids too.

He does drink alcohol occasionally and has started smoking from few months back. Also, he is not getting intimate with me and says he is not able to emotionally connect with me.

In general, he is a really good husband, helping me with all the household chores, taking care of the kids, allowing me to spend time with friends, very good behavior with my family and helping them financially whenever needed, well mannered, sweet at heart person.

Another thing is that he is trying to make a deal with me that he will quit drinking, eat only halal food and pray namaz everyday if I take off the hijab. I do want him to follow all these but don’t want to take off the hijab at the same time. Please suggest me what can I do.

Jazakallahu khair

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Question 6. Young sister getting married first

Salaam! I am an unmarried girl of 29 years old. I am the eldest one in my family. I have been gone through a lot of painful experiences in my life until now. I have been in depression for several years and I have get counselling several times for my issues. I wanted to get marry since I am 20 and my parents only had started looking for proposal in my last year at university. Now my sister’s marriage is taking place next week. I am relatively a very soft person which I have no control of. What’s hurting me most is My young sister doesn’t show any kind of sympathy or guilt about my situation. She only wants me to be happy for her entirely. She behaves as if she is having no conscience. I don’t have the strength to face the upcoming event and I am suffering day by day because of it. Please provide me a suitable solution for me.
May almighty bless you!. Jazakallah hair

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Question 7. Holiday with in laws

As Salamu Walaikum
I am feeling so bad to ask this question. My mother-in-law is a very nice and decent person and come to my place every two three years for holiday. However, she is very close to my husband rather than my daughter. She spends most of her time with my husband- sleeping, nap, TV, shopping, gossiping mostly with my husband, mostly he seats on her lap. I can also join they don’t mind but I don’t like this at all. I feel she should spend some time with her grand-child than her own son. And this makes me sick that I am a very bad person. She is the mother of my husband; she has every right to do that. I don’t know. Now my husband wants her to come every year and spend four five months with us. If I have to face this mother son intimacies every year, I don’t know what will happen. Two things making me crazy, one Allah will punish me second, I can’t stand her every year for 4/5 months. One more thing now my husband wants to go on a luxury holiday every year with her including my parents. But I don’t want to go every year with them. Then what about my life with my husband and daughter. My mother-in-law never respects her mother-in-law, never. I don’t know, please Allah help me.

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Question 8. Masturbating

Am tired scared I want no more with immorality I beg you to help me stop masturbating Allah (swt) I seek you

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