Your situation is very complicated, but I will try to provide you with a few inputs to help you get an Islamic solution for your problem.

1. As a Muslim wife, you have full right on your husband to take full responsibility for his home including housing, food and other necessary expenses. In case he does not pay you and your children the due rights, you can ask for divorce. You can claim your rights of paying you and your children for all days in the past.
2. You should respond to your husband’s spousal rights if you are physically fit and you do not have any legal impediment such as having menses.
3. You are committing a major sin by contacting this boy and calling him and his family. This is a step that may develop to committing zina. You must cut off all relations with him. You are married and you cannot have extra sexual relations. It is also prohibited to have relationship with a non-mahram.
4. Since your husband started sexual abuse for you children, you can ask for divorce to ward off harm which is inflicted on you children. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “There is no harm to inflicted or reciprocated.”

Allah Almighty knows best.