Dear Brothers & Sisters,

Thank you for participating in the previous counseling session about hardships and struggles with your questions!

Due to the counselor’s limited capacity of answering questions, here are the 4 questions that our counselor has provided an answer for. We apologize for not responding all the other questions.

If you have not received an answer below at this time, please submit your question to one of our upcoming Live Sessions. Thank you for your understanding.

Question 1. How to Get Over Someone

I’m trying to get over a man who wasn’t interested in me but I was interested in him and still am. He came after many years of no prospects whatsoever (my age is quite prohibitive to a muslim marriage at this stage). I have prayed for guidance and I also try to keep busy with many different activities. My friends are busy with their husbands and don’t have time to listen to the disappointments of a middle-aged woman (I know you are going to suggest that I talk to my lady friends about marriage, but these types of discussions don’t occur in my age group and community). Unfortunately, my parents do want me around to take care of them, so they’re not sympathetic about my sadness.

As this interaction was a unique and one-time experience after a long time, i’m finding it hard to manage my disappointment, and I’m finding it hard to stop thinking about this man.  How do I use my faith to avoid ruminating, to avoid obsessing, and to avoid unrealistic wishing and hoping?  I’m really struggling with this and with acceptance of Allah’s decree for me.

Answer:

Salam alaikom dear sister,

Thank you for sharing your struggle. I feel sorry for your sadness, sister.

You write that you had a unique and one-time interaction with a man after a long time. You are still interested in him, but he is not, unfortunately. Now, you are trying to get over him and stop thinking about him and ruminating.

I understand it and I know that it could be very hard to cope with this rejection, especially if it happens after a long time. Your letter reflects emotional maturity, masallah, and real attempts to overcome this situation by keeping yourself busy with other things and by wanting to avoid unrealistic wishing and hoping.

It seems to me that in your “mind” you have realistic expectations about the situation. But in your “heart”, emotionally, it is hard for you to cope with it and let it go. I understand your sadness, and also that somehow you lack support as you feel that your friends do not have time to listen to you and your parents do not want you around.

Do Not Lose Hope

I am also aware that at your age, the issue of getting married is a bit more complicated. It is bit complicated, but not impossible. There are many Muslim men who, for some reason, are unmarried, divorced, or have lost their wives and are looking for a new partner. And they might have the same need and desire for companionship and intimacy as you.

Maybe not right in your neighborhood, but somewhere else. You do not state where you live, whether in a Muslim or a non-Muslim majority country, and how the community around you is. Have you considered online marriage search options? Check out this one.

I know that after years of solitude and longing for a partner, you may feel that there is no hope. Or that you might ponder why Allah chose you for this path to be alone. You might not see any possibilities out there, or you have had negative experiences, for example, with online or face-to-face searching.

Love and Be Loved

The desire to love and be loved is so natural, yet some people are tested with delay or sometimes with a complete absence of experiencing a relationship. And indeed, it is a huge test. And when we are tested, our faith and willingness to focus on Allah’s guidance is tested.

I think it would help you if you could fully and wholeheartedly accept the Qadr of Allah, whatever it is. Trust in His wisdom. If He chose years of solitude for you, try to see it as an opportunity, not as a loss.

Try to see what you can gain and how you can grow spiritually as a result of being alone. Allah is The Delayer of events, and He surely delays affairs for the right time when you are fully prepared for that.

Look at these moments of solitude as an opportunity for inner growth, as a unique possibility to not be distracted by anyone in your relationship with Allah and in your worship.

Is He Meant for You?

Regarding this particular man, you do not detail the relationship with him, and I do not know whether his disinterest is final or not. If it is, try to accept that it was not meant for you. You might have accepted it in your mind, but how can you accept it in your heart?

Well, you do not have to give up on the desire for love and being loved.

It seems to me that this unique and one-time experience has more significance in your struggle. I think that the cause of your “rumination, obsession, and unrealistic wishing” as you call it is probably the interaction itself, because it happened after a long time.

This unique experience, and until now, the last one, surely gave you hopes and dreams. Maybe that is why you find it hard to manage your disappointment.

It is also a common reaction that when you are lacking companionship, you are trying to fulfill this gap inside. So somehow, these ruminations and obsessions are quite normal, as you indeed need someone who you love and think about.

What you can do is to detach your emotions from this man. Change your perspective and see him and his role from another angle. You may not miss him, but the companionship and love you are longing for. And he was the last significant person in your life who could embody these desires. He is probably not as important as the moments and sentiments you would like to experience next to someone.

In other words, focus on these feelings and try to write them down. What are you longing for?

Channel Your Feelings

What you can do is to transfer this energy and these feelings into other relationships.

First and foremost, into the love of Allah. Try to love Him wholeheartedly and turn to Him with all your hopes and desires. This spiritual connection is indeed an opportunity to grow.

Find a type of worship you most like. If you like to study the deen, then go and take some courses. If you enjoy recitation, then decide that you should improve your Arabic, for example. If you find peace in the masjid, then increase your worship there.

If you want to discover what kind of spiritual practice would fit you best, check out this quiz.

Those Who Need Your Love

The other option is to channel these energies into other relationships that are not romantic ones. You said that your parents do not want you to take care of them. But maybe there are other people who would love to have you around.

What you can also do is to find a place where you can turn your love into some voluntary action. It is up to you, choose what you feel is closer to your heart. Whether they are children, some people in need, the poor, the elderly, whatever. The important thing is that you take care of them and show your care and love for them.

You will see that you can find real companionship in this world and not necessarily in a romantic relationship. While in these interactions you will learn and grow in sha Allah.

Also, make dua and ask Allah to send you a partner when you are ready for that. Just let happen what has to happen and make peace with whatever your destiny is.

Counseling

You can try counseling as well, if you think that there are some underlying reasons behind the lack of opportunities. You might work on these issues with a specialist who will help you uncover them.

I hope, my dear sister, that these tips can help you overcome this struggle.

May Allah help you with it.

Question 2. Suffering whole life

How can I move forward with losing so many people?

Answer:

Salam alaikom wa rahmatullah dear brother,

Thank you for writing to us. Your question is very brief. You are asking about how to move forward when you have lost so many people.

Brother, although you do not detail your loss, I am feeling really sorry for your struggle. It is a painful experience, especially when it happens unexpectedly and repeatedly.

I am sure you know these verses:

“We will indeed test you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth, souls, and fruits; and give glad tidings to the patient—those who when affliction befalls them, say; “Truly we are God’s and unto Him we return.” They are those upon whom come the blessings from their Lord, and compassion, and they are those who are rightly guided.” (Quran 2: 155-57)

Losing the loved ones around you is surely one of the biggest tests. This hardship is one of the most difficult ones.

The emotions that are associated with the situation of losing something or somebody valuable are grief and sorrow. These feelings are common and normal reactions to a loss. So somehow, you have to expect and accept these feelings as they are necessary in the process of overcoming the struggle resulting from losing loved ones.

At the same time, being in a constant state of grief and sadness unfortunately affects our mental health. If these feelings are intense and prolonged, we speak of depression. 

As Dr. Yasien Mohamed mentions in his article, “reactive depression is caused by environmental factors and involves morbid feelings about real or anticipated loss or a stressful life event.”

Abu Zayd Balkhi, a Muslim scientist from the IX. century describe this state quite in line with the actual definition of reactive depression: “Ḥuzn, sadness or depression, is of two kinds, The (environmental) causes for one of them is [sic] clearly known, such as the loss of a loved relative, bankruptcy or loss of something the depressed person values greatly.”

How can you cope with these emotions?

Turn to Allah

Brother, as the verse mentions, first, “give glad tidings to the patient” then, secondly, “those who when affliction befalls them, say; “Truly we are God’s and unto Him we return.”

You need to be patient brother, and turn to Allah for your sadness. Try to accept the divine wisdom behind these sad events that led you lose people around you. The divine wisdom and the Qadr of Allah (SWT). These losses meant to happen, and even if it does not make sense now, they will lead you towards your real goal in this life.

Turn to him, as: “I complain of my anguish and sorrow only to Allah, and I know from Allah what you do not know.” (Quran 12:86)

Accept your feelings

Not only sadness, but anger is also part of bereavement. These feelings are normal and part of the process of loss, so accept them. It is OK to feel sad, unmotivated, hopeless. Also, that you argue with yourself, or question Allah, why He chose this path for you. You might feel guilt and cause yourself for what has happened. These are all common reactions.

It depends on your circumstances how long you will feel this way, as every person is different and reacts differently to these situations. There is no standard period of recovery, but I can reassure you that with time you are going to overcome this struggle and make your peace with it.

Connect with Your Lost Ones

Besides, try to forgive those you have lost and find an opportunity to express those feelings and words that you feel you owe them.

You can do it in the form of a letter, writing down everything that has remained unspoken. Or in the form of a voice message, even if the other person will not be able to listen to it anymore.

You can try to start a diary and connect regularly through your words with those you have lost. If you feel the need to “contact” them, just do it through these channels.

Insha Allah, you will find relief in this practice.

Seek Social Support

Psychological research shows that social support is indeed very important in moments of grief and sadness. Contact those around you who care for you and let them contact you as well.

Some people find it difficult to share their sadness with others as they feel that others will not be able to grasp their pain or just because speaking about a tragic event is still overwhelming.

If you feel that you are still not able to express your feelings to others, you do not need to. But try to connect with others who will respect your pace and will be there for you when you open up. 

The emotional and social support can positively affect your well-being and decrease the possibility of developing a mental illness due to your loss.

If there is no one around you can connect with, you can try professional support as well. Either in a masjid or, for example, in a group counseling setting where you will share your feelings with those who are in the same situation as you. Check out this one, for example.

Let Yourself Smile and Have Good Time

I know, brother, that sometimes you can feel a constant heaviness and you might feel “guilty” if for some time, for some hours, you forget about your sadness because you are spending a good time somewhere or with someone. Please, let yourself get busy with things you enjoy or have enjoyed in the past. It is OK to laugh or smile despite the fact that you are grieving. Let yourself engage in halal things that help you disconnect for a while.

Continue Their Legacy

You can also make duas and charity for your lost ones and start a noble cause in their name. It does not have to be a huge thing. You can plant a tree or start an online funding, for example.

You can also think about continuing their legacy. What were their dreams? Was there anything they wanted to accomplish but were unable to do so?

Think about contributing and helping them achieve their wishes. It can visiting a place, calling an old friend in the name of them. But it also can be something spiritual, like continue going to one particular masjid, or paying those extra rakas like your loved ones did. With these actions, you may integrate these memories and they will become a part of your identity.

Seek Counseling

Finally, if you feel that you are not able to cope with this situation and you have been feeling down for a long period of time, I recommend seeking counseling where you can get professional help to overcome the natural stages of grief and loss.

May Allah bring you peace.

Question 3. Scared of Marriage

Recently my family has been looking for a husband for me but I’m not sure I want to get married. All the marriages I have seen around me are very toxic and just overall feel very suffocating. All I see is women being infinitely patient and sacrificing everything they have just to stay in that marriage. I don’t want that for myself. My impression of men is not very good.

I feel like I’m a sinful person for feeling like that. I don’t want to be ungrateful. But I feel no desire for men, whenever the talks of my marriage are brought up, I start feeling anxious and the anxiety continues for days until somehow the arrangement doesn’t work out and then I go back to normal. It’s probably not a good thing but whenever a suitable proposal comes along, I ask Allah to make the right decision for me but I also keep wishing that it wouldn’t work out.

I feel like I won’t be able to fulfill my responsibilities as a wife because I’m afraid of men. For some reason, they all look like depraved monsters that can’t control themselves. And I know that might be a generalization but I don’t know how to stop feeling that way. I know after marriage I will probably end up like every other woman around me, I will have to become a slave to a man and his family. I don’t want that.

I want a marriage that is based on mutual respect. Where I can find comfort in my partner but I don’t think men have it in them to respect women. All these horrendous “what-ifs” keep popping up in my head and most of them are not far off from what I have seen women go through around me. Is it bad that I think life will be more peaceful without a man. Is it wrong for me to want to keep myself safe? I keep hearing Hadiths about how women who refuse their husbands will go to hell. I don’t want to go to hell. I’m so scared that life after marriage will be very miserable. I don’ know if a man can be understanding. I don’t even want love, I just want to be respected and seen as a human being. I feel like random non-muslim strangers are treated better than a wife.

I’m also very scared of having a child. I feel like it’s a trap. There’s already stigma around divorced women, but having children on top of that makes things a hundred times worse. There always some talk going around about how a women chose to stay in an abusive marriage just for the kids. Doesn’t it feel like a trap? No one waits even a year or two to have kids, and by the time a man’s true colors are showing it’s already too late.

I’m getting my education so I can be independent, even though being provided for is our right as a woman, I feel like I will be a burden on anyone I marry because I have seen a lot men expressing resentment for having to provide for their wives and children, and these are the same men who will not let their wives work. So, I don’t really get why I have to put up with a man who will do nothing but make me feel the absolute worst for existing. I don’t think I will ever be ready to marry, so is it inevitable that I will have the exact miserable life I’m fearing so much? Will I just have to suck it up because I’m a woman?

Is there something wrong with me? I have never even had a crush, and I read that it’s normal for women to feel desire after hitting puberty. I only interact with men if I absolutely have to in college or outside. Whenever a man is shown to me as a potential romantic partner, my first thoughts are how to run away and how much I don’t want to be caged and disrespected. I know if anything goes wrong in my marriage I will be blamed and no one will help me so doesn’t it make sense to not put myself through that? I know I will have to live my life as if the man did me a favor by marrying me. Of all the couples I know, It’s only two couples who are actually respectful and loving towards each other but that’s not convincing enough, I don’t want to take the risk that is marriage.

I want to act on the Sunnah by getting married but I have no desire to be intimate with anyone. You know how men are motivated to do good deeds because in Jannah they will get hur, I even tried thinking like that of how if I just got married for the pleasure of Allah and no matter what my husband turned out like, Allah will provide me with a partner that is to my liking in Jannah, but it’s not having the same effect. I feel like I will be perfectly content without one. What is wrong with me? I’m scared of intimacy, so wouldn’t I be refusing my husband’s rights by being scared? That’s a sin, isn’t it. Just tell me how I can turn this fear off so I can marry and avoid hell for intentionally refusing marriage.

Answer:

Salam alaikom dear sister,

Thank you for writing to us and sharing your concern. You write that you are feeling scared of marriage because you do not have a good impression of men. Your detailed description of the reason for your fears helps to understand the way you think and feel about this situation, masallah. I understand that, on one hand, you would like to act on the Sunnah and get married, but on the other hand, your experiences and negative impressions block you and scare you.

You state that you are afraid of men and that they “all look like depraved monsters that can’t control themselves.”

Sister, when I was reading your letter, I was wondering about the inevitable question: how was your relationship with your father? Was he around you when you were growing up? And, beside him, what about the other male members of your family, your brothers, for example?

You also say that you see “women being infinitely patient and sacrificing everything for marriage” and that “I don’t think men have it in them to respect women.” Do you remember the earliest experience that led you to this conclusion?

I think that behind these notions must be some real-life experiences. For some reason, you have formed these ideas about men and women in general. And now, as a young adult woman, you’re having trouble trusting men. As a result, you focus in current situations those ones that reinforce your core belief.

Early Attachment and Its Impact

Psychological literature confirms the importance of father-daughter relationships—and parent-child attachment in general—in the wellbeing of the child and the ability to form healthy relationships later on. The father’s role is also significant, “plays the role of a trusted companion in fulfilling the child’s exciting need to explore the world and oneself”.

This study about daughter – father relationship based on a sample of Pakistani families mentions that „a woman’s fear of intimacy is greatly affected by the role her father played in her life. The level of fatherly approval affects the sexuality of his daughter and her propensity to become intimate with other people later in life.”

So, it would be very important to know your impression about male figures, especially about your father in your early years. Were they scary, disrespectful of women, and unable to control themselves? Or were they absent (physically and / or emotionally) and you had hard times forming a positive image about them?

If yes, I kindly suggest you start working on these notions with a counselor because unfortunately they could cause you problems in your future relationships.

Furthermore, if these ideas are rooted in any form of abuse or trauma you suffered by a man, it would be even more important to start healing in an ongoing therapeutic setting.

However, it is also possible that without actually witnessing first-hand unjust or threatening situations, you have come to this conclusion. The thing is that these ideas are basically based on how we PERCEIVE and interpret certain events and situations around us. This means that even if the primary male figures you encountered as a child were not “depraved monsters who could not control themselves,” you could still perceive them as such, having a long-lasting negative impact on your life.

This is a complex issue, and there are many influencing factors.

For example, you might grow up with a physically or emotionally absent father, and forme your ideas based on the attitude of female family members towards men. Or, besides the love you receive from your father, you can still perceive him as someone scary or untrustworthy.

These are just some possible scenarios, as I do not know your exact situation.

Sister, I think it is a very good sign that you can articulate the root of your fears regarding marriage and intimacy. Alhamdulillah, it seems that you have some kind of awareness of this problem and of your rejection of being intimate and dependent on a male. This is the first step towards overcoming your fears.

Healing First

So, again, I kindly suggest you get counseling because you can change these negative perceptions and get married once the time arrives. And yes, this work should be prior to marriage, as you can inevitably enter into future conflicts if you are unable to fulfill your obligations as a wife due to these underlying issues. 

Sister, it seems to me that these early experiences contributed to the development of some core beliefs that might not reflect reality.

Core Beliefs to Be Challenged

You state that “Whenever a man is shown to me as a potential romantic partner, my first thoughts are how to run away and how much I don’t want to be caged and disrespected.” These automatic thoughts about how you do not want to be caged and disrespected, unfortunately, could be linked to these negative core beliefs about how a romantic partner will behave.

My dear sister, I would like to reassure you that a romantic relationship does not (and should not) be about being caged and disrespected, but the contrary. I know that, sadly, there are relationships where women feel this way, but this is certainly not the right way or the only way to exist in a relationship.

There are happy, successful relationships where the spouses get along well and they do respect each other. It requires work and constant effort, but it is possible to be married and have a good and loving relationship with your spouse. There are husbands who do respect their wives, love their kids, and do not abuse their family. Even if you see around you “toxic and suffocating” marriages, this is certainly not the only way.

What can you do?

Counseling

Sister, as I suggested before, please seek counseling where you can explore the root of these beliefs and you can work on creating a healthier image of intimacy, about marriage and family life, and about men in general. There are some self-help techniques as well, but honestly, I believe that you would need some professional support on this journey as your fears seem to be deeply rooted.

Focus On the Deen

I also advise you to move your focus towards marriages that are working. Take the example of those who can manage their relationships better. Ask them, how do they do it? What makes it work? You can also learn these practices and equip yourself with techniques that help you cope in times of conflict.

Besides this, try to learn the Islamic recommendations about marriage and relationships and about the deen. You can do this by participating in an online Islamic premarital course or reading books about marriage and intimacy in Islam. Check out this list for books and this one for premarital courses, for example.

Focus on yourself, try to be prepared, and put your expectations into the right perspective. I am telling you this because the more you grow by knowing yourself better, and by getting closer to Allah, the easier it will be to find a just and righteous person.

Learn to Trust

Sister, you need to learn to trust men. There are very honest and truthful men out there. You also have to believe that not all of them are disrespectful and have bad intentions. Besides the two couples you mention, there are more marriages that might not be perfect but are working very well. Yours can be one of these in sha Allah.

You can also strengthen your trust in a spiritual level by elevating your faith in Allah. Focus on your heart and let fill it with the love and trust of Him. He is the Most Loving and the Most Merciful, and He loves you more than anybody else.

Seek His protection, you will find it, just as this hadith says: “Be mindful of Allah and He will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you shall find Him with you. When you ask (for anything), ask it from Allah, and if you seek help, seek help from Allah.” Bulugh Al-Maram, Book 16, Hadith 36

May Allah help you sister.

Question 4. Mental health

How to control our emotions and tensions and to focuse on deen?

Answer:

Salam alaikom sister,

Thank you for turning to us. You are asking about how to control your emotions and tensions and focus on the deen.

Sister, I have to reassure you that it is completely normal that you are experiencing emotional turbulence at this age. You are about to end puberty, and due to the physiological, psychological, and emotional maturation, you can expect to have intense feelings and tensions, as well as difficulties coping with them. These are the years when you are growing into a young adult woman, and there are many changes going on in your body.

During the process of emotional maturation, you are learning to control your impulses and the frequent mood swings. You are also learning to deal with extreme and complex emotional situations, in which you realize that you can feel multiple, contradictory feelings at the same time.

The patterns in your family will influence this maturational process.

What Examples Do You Have?

So, I would reflect on the type of example you have had about controlling your emotions. How do your parents and other close relatives deal with them? Were you allowed to fully express your feelings and talk about them? How is anger managed in your family and how do you deal with conflict? What about happiness and love, or sadness?

I am asking these questions because it is important to know that the management of emotions has a lot to do with the patterns we see around us while we are growing up. And if you think you have a good model for controlling them, you will have easier job, alhamdulillah. 

If you haven’t seen a good example, first you would need to learn to cope with distress and with overwhelming feelings.

Learn Coping with Emotions

1.You can start by getting to know your emotions and befriending them. When you are feeling a certain way, try to identify the type of emotion. Starting with the main ones, try to specify more complex emotions as well, like jealousy, pity, greed, etc.

2.Identify and also validate these feelings. It means that it is OK to feel a range of emotions, whether they be sadness, jealousy, anger, pity, etc. Allah has created us with this wild spectrum of emotions. There is wisdom behind. Also, the Quran speaks of a variety of emotions like compassion, anxiety, sadness, grief, fear, etc.

Accept that it is OK to have different type of emotions. There is no need to feel guilty or to negate your feelings. What you need to learn is not to act upon them but to control them. 

3. Try to formulate sentences when you are experiencing intense emotions, like I am feeling a desire now for something or I am feeling extremely disappointed because of this or that, etc. 

4. When you are experiencing a strong feeling, try to stop, take a deep breath, and exhale slowly. Repeat this several times. You can also choose to move away from the trigger or from the person who caused you to have this reaction and wait until you calm down. You can say, “Let’s talk a bit later. I am feeling too nervous to talk now,” for example.

5.Ask yourself, how would you like to react? Is there a better way to respond? If you are feeling too overwhelmed to respond in a better way, again, until you calm down. 

Emotional Intelligence

These practices will help you to develop emotional intelligence and manage your feelings better. Emotional intelligence according to the dictionary of APA is “a type of intelligence that involves the ability to process emotional information and use it in reasoning and other cognitive activities, comprising four abilities: to perceive and appraise emotions accurately; to access and evoke emotions when they facilitate cognition; to comprehend emotional language and make use of emotional information; and to regulate one’s own and others’ emotions”.

In other words, if you learn to identify your emotions, you will be able to recognize others’ emotions as well during social interactions, so you can make better use of them during your communication with others. Here you can read more about these skills.

Use Islamic Teachings to Cope with Emotions

Moderation is central to Islamic teachings. We have to try to avoid extremes in emotions and maintain the middle path. If you are moderate in your emotions, even negative emotions can be constructive and necessary to accomplish your goals.

Regarding negative emotions, religion advises on not acting upon them. You may have heard the prophetic recommendations about controlling your anger. Some of them are completely in line with the actual anger management tips, subhanallah.

These include seeking refuge from Allah from Shaytan. This is a very useful way because you can externalize the root cause. It is not that you are an angry, tense person by nature, but rather that Shaytan causes you to feel and behave this way.

Make wudu, or drink water, based on this hadith: “Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only by water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.” (Abu Dawud: Book 41, Number 4766)

Change your position and try to remain silent. (Until you calm down). 

You can try to channel your negative emotions and transform them into positive deeds. For example, if you are angry with someone, try to make dua for that person.

You can take an online anger management course as well. Here is one, for example: Basic Anger Management Course for Muslims.

Desires & Tensions

Sister, you may also experience intense romantic feelings during this stage of life. Know that this is also completely normal and part of the same maturation process I was talking about before.

So you don’t have to feel bad about them, but you can try to avoid certain things that lead to increased desires. I am not sure whether you have pondered upon the possibility of marriage. I would consider this option, as you are approaching your best years to enjoy being in a romantic relationship.

If, for some reason, it is still not possible, try to avoid triggers like opposite sex peer relationships in school, exposing yourself to this type of content on social media and Internet, and through romantic movies.

Try to spend more time with righteous friends, and take care of yourself by eating and sleeping well, doing regular exercise, and keeping yourself busy with things to avoid daydreaming.

Try to make use of these years wisely, as later you might have much less free time to spend on studying the deen and have enough time for yourself. 

Regarding tensions, the best way is to occupy yourself with the deen and with the rememberance of Allah, as the aya says: „Surely in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find ease.” (Quran 13:28)

Do dhikr, read the Quran or listen to a recitation you find relaxing and think about Allah as the only source of true comfort.

I hope these tips will be beneficial for you. May Allah bless you.