Q:

Please I would like to ask a very personal question, Astagfirullah I was involved in a haram relationship, but i have called it quit now Alhamdulillah. But something keeps disturbing, while i was in this haram relationship, he inserted his finger in my private part, I wanted to know if this counts as Zina? and if I can still be referred to as a virgin islamically and also I keep getting worried if the person I was involved with will expose me one day.

A:

I ask Allah to forgive your sins and shower you with His mercy. What you have done is one of the major sins which Allah and His Messenger have explicitly prohibited. Touching someone of the opposite gender is completely prohibited. However, the basic legal definition of Zina is more specific, which is, ‘The act of a legally responsible person entering the head of the male organ in a genital orifice that is forbidden.’ 

But there is a more general concept of zina which is also prohibited, and which is described in the hadith of the Prophet, ‘Allah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of zina, which he will inevitably commit. The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the tongue is speaking, one may wish and desire, and the private parts confirm that or deny it.’ (Al Bukhari and Muslim)

So here we have a wider concept of zina, in which the Prophet describes those things that lead to zina, or acts which are associated to illicit sexual practices, and are themselves a form of zina. While these practices may go unpunished in this life, they will be taken to task in the next life, if forgiveness is not sought. So a person who has committed any of these actions has to repent to Allah.

One of the greatest means of expiation for such sins is offering the five daily prayers regularly and on time. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The five daily prayers, and from one Jumu’ah to the next, and from one Ramadan to the next, expiates for the sins that come in between, so long as you avoid major sins.” (Muslim)

You have to completely avoid contacting the person who engaged with you in this immoral act. He may be one of the avenues leading you to commit adultery. The Prophet instructed us on how the person who killed 100 persons was advised, upon his repentance to leave, the place where he used to live. The reason is that his environment would encourage him to commit these sins again.

Almighty Allah Knows best.