Wa ‘Alaikum Salaam brother,

You are at the age where marriage and career are 2 very important things in your life and often people often mistakenly think you can only have one or the other but this is not true. Certainly, being financially stable can make it easier for marriage and even to find a spouse, but it is not the most important thing. The most important thing is character and piety and if you have these then these should be the most attractive thing for a potential spouse. You can still be pursuing a career whilst married and if you have a spouse that will support you in this then it will make it even easier for you, but these are things that you can establish when you meet with potential spouses.

As I am sure you are probably aware, marriage is recommended in Islam, especially from a young age for so many reasons. Marriage protects us from the very thing that you are clearly contemplating – zina. You have needs, both emotional and physical that can only be met in a way that is pleasing to Allah in a halal way and that is through marriage. As you know, having a girlfriend is not a permissible way to have these needs met and we know that Allah does not look favourably on this at all and as a result it is a big sin. If you do want to pursue marriage right now, it is possible do so without the support of your family, but ideally, to make things easier and smoother for you, you would have their support. Explain to them why you want to marry and if they do not want to see you fall into sin and love you enough to not want that to happen too, then they will support you in doing so in the halal way.

However, if you feel that you still can’t go ahead with marriage at this point or your family still don’t support your idea and you don’t want to go against their advice, because it’s important to respect them also, then you can take steps to protect yourself from falling into sin until you are ready to get serious about marriage. Don’t engage in free mixing and avoid environments where there are many women present where temptations might get the better of you, and especially never be alone with another woman. This goes for online environments too. Fasting was also advised by the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) to people like yourself, because when fasting, not only are you more conscious of Allah, but lowering the gaze and restraining from thoughts that might cause zina is very important too, so this is something you could make a regular habit in the mean time. Increasing other acts of ibaadah too to increase your level of eeman will also keep remembrance of Allah close and fear of Him close too, that you will feel fear to commit any sin such as zina, desiring instead to have your needs met in a halal way instead, making it easier to lower your gaze until you are ready to pursue marriage.

May Allah guide you on the straight path and keep you away from sin. When you are ready to get married, may He grant you a spouse that will bring you happiness and contentment in this life and the next.