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Divorce and Other Issues (Fatwa Session)

Sheikh Kifah Mustapha
25 May, 2018

Dear Brothers/Sisters,

 

Thank you very much for joining us in this Live Fatwa session. We would like also to thank our guest, Sheikh Kifah Mustapha, for answering the questions directed to him. You will find the answers of your questions below.

Friday, May. 25, 2018 | 13:00 - 15:00 GMT

Session is over.
DISCLAIMER
Views expressed by hosts/guests on this program (live dialogue, Facebook sessions, etc.) are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent.  

Salam. I live in the southern United States where there is a very strong, very vocal Christian community. Many times in group social situations they feel the need to conduct a group prayer and often times end it with "in the name of Jesus". This can be a meal they are blessing, or an event. We even have equipment at work that has been blessed by a priest. As a Muslim, am I now not able to partake of the food/event/equipment? Am I being too sensitive or rigid? I am a convert to Islam of 6 years. I also live about an hour from the closest mosque, which makes it hard to ask these questions in person. I'm wondering if I am just overextending dietary laws. Any clarification would be greatly appreciated. This is a VERY common practice where I live.



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

They can pray in any name they want and you pray in the name of Allah. You can participate in any of these events and make your own prayers. Avoid being with them when making prayers to an entity other than Allah.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

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Sir i want to name my daughter I have find meeral a good name for her But cant find same meaning in all website please advice a real meaning of this name



In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving

 

I read it is a Mongolian name that means either the smart person or the female deer.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

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Aslamu alaikum My husband had divorced me back in Feb where he said I divorce you and we managed to reconcile but were not living together Recently this week I contacted him over the phone and I asked him to either come back home or end the relationship as its coming to 3yrs he said he does not want to come bk home or end the relationship and that I have the option of khula if I want to end relationship I said I do not want that option and as you dont want to stay with me you should take the decision or you can give me the right He goes I give you right if that's what you want it's ur choice I said il take it Then I said u might aswel give me all the remaining rights and he goes you can take it and I go il take all of them Does this divorce count and have I used all my rights of divorce even though we both were not direct by using the word divorce and we both were aware what we meant by I give you the right Jazakallah



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

In this case, you must present your case to the judge and if he found that husband is forcing his wife to Khulu’ to escape financial means of liability then the judge will force him to a proper divorce that will protect your rights.

 

Of course that is if there was no place for reconciliation but if there was a chance to come back to each other and live in respect counseling can help insha Allah.

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Almighty Allah knows best.

is the description in detail of blasphemous thoughts that pass the mind kufr,major,minor or not sinful at all



In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving

 

Thoughts are not sinful as long not followed by action.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

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what do i say when opening my fast ?



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

Nothing. Fasting intention is in the heart. You do not need to say anything except making it in your mind and it is good.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

Asalamualaikum,I was told after ten days you can fast and pray. But everywhere I've seen it says after 15 days. I have 6 days of spotting and 9 days of periods. I was also told that if you have spotting and it leads to periods then you should count it as periods. The spotting start around 13-14 day after my last periods. So what should I do?



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

The best in this case is to count 7 days as normal period and add 3 days max and then start praying normal as it is called istihadah. Be mindful that after the 10 days color should have changed.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

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Is it permissible in Islam to ask your wife to leave the house or not come back without giving her nafqa or any other rights?Me and my husband has a disagreement after which I asked him if I can visit my parents for a week as I didn't meet them since I was married( 3 months). He agreed happily and sent me to my parents house. I discussed the issue with my parents with my husband's permission but after talking to his father (which was also through his permission) he asked me not to come back home.Because his father told his mother which he did not want.I kept clearing him that I did not tell her mother and I didn't do anything wrong willingly but he did not listen and said he needs a break(i should not come home). Its been a month and a half now and he has not contacted me. Is it permissible in Islam to ask your wife to leave the house or not come back without giving her nafqa or any other rights? What should I do in this case



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

The Nafaqa is the husband’s responsibility to care for the family and household. No man should ask to break marriage because of such reason. Maybe there are other reasons you need to see what they are with him. I suggest that your dad contact him officially with a local Imam and see if he wants to continue in this marriage or not. And based on his answer, you proceed for what is the best for both for you.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

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What is the Islamic ruling on recitation of bismillahi (first verse of suratul al fatiha)while leading a congregational prayer loudly



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

Most people do not say Bismillah and some do like those who follow certain school of thought. I suggest to practice that which people in the Masjid are used on.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

Assalamoalekum! I want to know about dress code like how much length of pants is required for male and female for offering namaz ?? Moreover can namaz be offered by men in shorts which are covering knees??



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

The minimum for males is that to cover between belly and knees but better to cover all body except face hands and feet.

The minimum for females is to cover all body except for face hands and feet, It is better that even feet are covered too.

 

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Almighty Allah knows best.

Selam alejkum brother, i just wanted to tell you the reason of my concern about my marriage situation, basically ive been talking to a sister for about two years now and i want to marry her but its to early for me as im still in university, basically i have notified my parents about this sister that i want marry but the only problem is, is that the sister dont wear a hijab but is very religious and my parents have come to a conclusion that if the sister dont wear a hijab before she get married to me she cant enter my house and my parents said they will disown me and tell me to go and get my own home, but on the other hand the sister is not refusing to wear it but hasnt come to yhe point where she wants to start wearing it, i just wanted to ask if respect plays a role in this between me and my parents and if the hijab situation is a problem, selam alejkum



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

I will advise that if she is as you said a good practicing Muslim and loves Islam  she should wear it as soon as possible as in that she will please her Lord Allah, be more accepted by your parents and I am sure you will be happy too.
If she is still hesitant, be patient and wait until she does but set a time table. If parents are requesting something from you especially an honorable thing like Hijab you should obey them and try to convince this girl to wear it as her choice insha Allah.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

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Assalam alaikum I have a question regarding my job. I had applied in a few places for my job. Now I have many offers. I accepted the first offer and then I got another very good offer. The second offer is much much better than the first one. I accepted the first one and they are in the process of making the visa although I have not yet joined. My question is, is it haram to leave the job offer at this stage that is after accepting the offer and take the second job which is much better ? I would be very grateful if you could help me with this issue. Jazak Allah Khairan.



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

Accepting an offer is different than signing a contract. If you just accepted the offer, you can quit. But if you signed a contract, you must see what liability you are in and then communicate with them backing off and see how it goes. Of course being that you really want this other job.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

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Assalam alaikum. Please help me with this problem. I have really been struggling. I often get blasphemous/unwanted thoughts, and usually, I’ll verbally say out loud the opposite of what the thought in my head is, like I’ll say, “Allah IS the highest” and “That person is NOT a kaffir” and “I am NOT a better Muslim than that person,” but sometimes, I end up verbally saying the blasphemous thought out loud. I’m pretty sure it’s an accident, but sometimes, I fear I might have meant it, even if it was for a fleeting second. I always clarify after that I disagree with the blasphemous thought and I recite the first kalma (this is how you become Muslim, right?) but I’m scared that I may no longer be Muslim, especially since these incidents keep happening. I heard that there is no sin for what you say accidentally/out of confusion, but for some reason, I always fear I may have meant the blasphemous thought How can I return to Islam? I heard that asking for Allah’s forgiveness and reciting the first kalma is enough, but you should also affirm that you don’t agree with the blasphemous thought you thought or verbally said. What if you cannot remember all the blasphemous things you’ve said/thought? Please help me. I truly want to be Muslim. I am trying to ignore the thoughts, as I heard these won’t go away until you ignore them, but I feel like I always have to clarify that I don’t agree with the blasphemous thoughts and then sometimes, I accidentally do verbally say the blasphemous thought, and I fear I might have meant it. Allah sees and knows all, so I’m hoping it is enough for me to just ignore the thought, as He knows I want to be Muslim. Also, on a related note, when I was 12 (I think this was before I got my period, I’m not sure, so this might have been before I started puberty), I was very stupid and said something out loud about Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) that I knew was false, but I said it anyway. I regreted it (immediately, I think) and I think I recited all the kalmas to become a Muslim again. I’m not sure if I did end up saying the true thing about Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), but I do now. 12 years later at age 24, I am still worried about this, but I am a better Muslim now and am doing more good deeds, so I’m hoping I am Muslim. How can I move on from this incident? I am well aware I should not have said that when I was 12 and I do deeply regret it. Please answer as thoroughly as you can so I can have peace of mind and overcome this. May Allah bless you for helping me, Ameen



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

Uttering words with intention behind as a mistake are not liable and Allah will not hold you responsible for that. No need to think of yourself as exited from Islam and that you need to say words of Shahadah to come back to Islam.

 

Also at age 12 when young such thoughts do not count.

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My advice is to be busy learning about your faith and study Quran it will help you a lot not thinking much about these things.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

In Albania when somebody tricks someone people say in an allegorical manner he has put his genital organ inside him.when i masturbate i bring to mind the thought that Charles Darwin,Karl Marx have put their genital organ inside all those that because of them became eternal inhabitants of hell and this dramatically increases the quantity of pleasure.Have i committed kufr,major,minor sin with heart?



In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving

 

Bad thoughts will always come to mind from whispers within or from Satan. Try to be busy with something useful like athletics or education and increase your level of worship by attending Masjid for prayer and ask Allah to help you focus on the proper things in life and insha Allah such thoughts will be gone.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

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I need advice. I married a man from Jordan and brang him to America. After I married him I realized his and his parents intentions were to use me and to benefit from my American status. Which totally hurts and breaks me every time I think about it. Despite the reasons for him marrying me i learned to love him and we have kids together so I need him and he needs me. His parents are still trying to benefit from the situation and applied for a visa and are awaiting to be able to get permanent residence. Which I have to include that they have 6 kids in Jordan and are very well off and have a beautiful home in Jordan. Their intentions are to try to bring all their kids to America if possible. I don’t agree with their intentions and it hurts me to know they wanted to use me for their selfish fantasies to live in America. America isn’t what it seems and me and my husband are struggling enough as it is and to Bring them to our home and help them until they adjust to America isn’t an easy task when we ourselves aren’t financially stable which will cause huge problems in my marriage.They think that I don’t have a choice but In reality I have the ability to ruin their plans So my question is if i were to deny them the opportunity to come live in America would I be wrong?Please help



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

It is your right to apply for people or not as you are not obligated. If you want to do it out of good will and care for your husband and family it is your decision.

On the other hand, family can be welcomed for a reasonable period of time as visiting. It is your right to have your own privacy with your kids and husband.

I suggest you talk to your husband and come with an understanding of rights and responsibilities that which you can tolerate and that which you cannot.

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Almighty Allah knows best.

Assalamu alaikkum wa rahmathullahi wa barakathuhu, I am a muslim woman and i do observe my hijab whenever i go outside of my home and in my house also(when i walk around in the courtyard or terrace etc).I want ti shave my hair just because i want to see how i will look if i shave off my hair and the second thing is that i have alot of lice in my hair and if i shave off the hair the lice will also br gone and i can take care of my hair.But my greater priority is just to experience that state.But i don't want to be an arrogant in front of Allah because it is Allah Subhanahu wa ta'la who gave me this hair and i do have a concern that i am denying his blessing when many of the people have lost their hair due to diseases and injuries i don't want to be like that my concern is just to experience that.please do kindly give an attention to my question Jazakallahu khairan I am happy that i found this website to ask questions about my cocerns and to feed my curiosities.Notes Mens are the ones who typically shave the hair and i have heard of the hadith that "men shouldn't appear like women and women shouldn't also appear like that of men"(May Allah forgive me if there is any mistake in the hadith that i have wrote-its only my mistake in writing this)so in that case is it haram to shave off the hair?



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

I am sure you can go to any pharmacy and buy some medicine that will take care of all the lice problems you are facing without need to shave your hair. Shaving hair for females is allowed only for extreme medical conditions and in your case it is not.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

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M 27 years old female.. i have 3 years old baby girl.. i m trying to conceive 2nd baby since 2 months..doctor prescribed me to have morning and night tablets how can i take during fast.. i have pcod.. so i want to get pregnant fast.. can i try for conceive in ramadan... and at what time i have to finish ghusl..and what time i have to sleep with him.... plzzz advice me...shukriya for reading question…



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

Having a baby is a value in Islam in which you can take medicine for that and break your fast. If you can take them after Maghreb and before Suhoor it is better by approval of your physician of course, if not you can take them during day and make up days later.

 

Intercourse should be done Only during night time. Ghusl can be taken even after Fajr has been called but make sure to pray Fajr before sunrise.

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Almighty Allah knows best.

AssalamoAlakum, My wife and I are married for over 20 years and we have 4 children. She was visiting her parents when we had this argument over the phone. She was gone too long and I wanted her to come home and take care of the children and our house. She kept delaying to come back. During an argument, and in a frustration and to scare her I sent her a single text with talaq talaq talaq in it. A week later I visited her at her parent's house and we both were regretful about arguing and apologized to each other. She said she had her period at the time I texted her talaq. She said that talaq did not take place because she had her period. She also consulted with a local imam who told her that talaq did not take place under this situation. She is still at her parent's house but now she wants to come back and live together. I am not sure if talaq took place or not. We have not argued to each other since. My entire family is devastated. Since she plans to come in Ramadan, I want to be sure, if we can live as halal married couple or we are committing zina? May Allah reward you plenty for your service. Jazak Allah



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

 

Yes as the Imam said, when one divorces his wife while she is in her period it is called the innovative divorce which does not match the proper way the prophet (peace be upon him) advised us to follow in case we really mean to end marriage.

 

And for that if you divorced your wife during her menstrual period, the divorce in not applicable and she is still your wife with nothing needs to be done.

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Almighty Allah knows best.



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh and Ramadan Mubarak

 

Wearing Hijab is an act of worship in obedience to Allah. All acts of worship have exemptions when it comes to medical matters that can be harmful to the person. From what you described I have reservations on this doctor you saw because he missed the whole diagnosis in the beginning! So I am not sure if his later diagnosis is sufficient as the Hijab is the cause of such thing!

My suggestion is the following:

  • Check with another physician to really verify if the Hijab is a cause or not.
  • See if fabric that Hijab is made of like silk or such can help when wearing instead or removing it totally.
  • See if treatment can be taken and I am sure now with medicine so advanced that there must be something to use for cure without need to remove Hijab in public.
  • If you are to use a wig then you must still cover.
  • Try to limit your presence in public so you can be without Hijab around either female of people who are your Marham.

 

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Almighty Allah knows best.

My husband gave divorce when i was on my period i know that divorce does not count but does he have to take me back before giving another divorce... he never took me back but gave divorce through text but recently we slept together so am i confused if we are married or not. Also we have a child together but she is not his blood child but still calls him father. I want my marriage to work but his main hold back is his family and thinks we are divorced. I nees to know 100% if i am married or divorced



In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving.

 

In case of real divorce taking wife back can be in a formal way or informal way. It could be in an actual statement or a kiss or a hug or an intimate relationship like you described. So if such things happened during the 3 months period after the word of divorce happened it should be fine.

 

But in your case as you mentioned he said it while you were on your period and for that it does not count at all. You are still his wife and everything is fine no need to worry insha Allah but he should be advised not to come back abusing words of divorce threatening the stability of marriage.

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Almighty Allah knows best.

Assalamwalaikum,I was enagaged to a guy with consent of both the families and was going to get married soon, but due to argument between two families and fight between my fiancee and my mother there were few things which was said by by mother which was not actually true but was inappropriate.. out of anger my mother said to guys's family that "your son has relationship with many other girls and he has also made physical relationship with me". This words has made the situation very dreadful...this is not the fact both (my mom and my fiancee has confronted). But now my mother in law is against of our marriage as she is stating that as per islam I am Haram for his son though the words said by my mother was not true but still my mother in law says that I am Haram for his son as all the neighbors has listen to this statement...can u please let me know does Islam really states this. Please help me with a resolution because my marriage will break if this does not get resolved..how can I convince my mother in law islamically please advice. Also let me know what are the things in Islam which makes me Haram for his son.



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu waRahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

 

People who claimed that a physical relationship happened between you both (even not true as you stated) is the reason why it is Haram to marry each other are depending on the verse that says: {a fornicating woman cannot be married but to a fornicating man or idolater} 3:24. This is a wrong reference in this situation for these reasons:

 

One, even if true that Haram had happened people can still marry according to Imam Shafe’ie as he stated this verse is abrogated by another verse where Allah SW said: {let unwed among you marry} 24:32.

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Two, the claim is not true and this should be made clear for both sides.

 

Three, even if true the claim is about the finance too, he would be (if true) as guilty as anyone else.

 

My advice is that for both sides of family should sit together and clarify this matter once and for good and reconcile this marriage and save it.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

Dear sir. Assalaam o alaikumIt has always been my dream to spend the last 10 days of ramadan in Haram but my husband never took me there even when we were living in jeddah. Now that his mind has come towards islam and has become more practicing, he himself is going there alone in the last 10 days but not taking me with him saying that it will be very difficult with small children. I am going through a mental torture now thinking about this. For years i wanted to go but never got a chance as i was dependant on him. For him its only 1 year that he started practicing and praying salah and Allah swt invited him for this great oppurtunity. Why did Allah swt not fullfill my desire and call me. Because of my children and dependency on a mahram, i will never be able to go there as i wish. I cry every day. How can i calm myself down. What can i do? People say that because i have the niyat and full intention of going to haram but because i cant go because of my smalll children, i will get full sawab of umrah just staying at home looking after children if i let my husband go. And that i will get sawaab rewards for all the ibadah he will do there if i let him go. Is this true? Please guide me. JazakumAllaho khair



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu waRahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

 

May Allah reward you and grant us the sincerity like that you are feeling, ameen. The great Abdullah Ibn Almubarak used to stay home a lot. When asked: “aren’t you not feeling lonely?” He said: “how could I be lonely and I am with the prophet and his companions!”

 

I believe every last ten days of Ramadan that passed, you were there around the Ka’bah but in the presence of the soul even your body was not there. The prophet (peace be upon him) told people who were with him in a journey: “you have not crossed a valley or a hill but were shared in rewards people behind you who could not join. They were held by their exemptions.”

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Allah gave you the honor of loving to be in the holy place, now it is the test of true love to wait for the right moment when you will be free from any distractions, even thoughts of being angry at your husband.

 

The levels waiting for you in Sabr to elevate you in true purity are way higher than those your husband needed to cleanse his past and that’s why it was rushed for him delayed for you.

 

May Allah accept from you both.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

Assalamu alaicoum! Someone joked about Islam in my presence and I smiled. Does this turnk me into kafir? Also, am I a Muslim, if I believe in Allah and his Messenger, but I do not pray or fast (I do not know how to do it, but I have a strong intention to learn soon)?



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu waRahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

 

Jokes will not take someone outside Islam unless they are really meant to belittle Islamic values and make fun of our sacred tenants.

 

So not every joke is a joke that will cause Kufr and it has to be intentionally motivated.

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Normal jokes about people’s practices are different than Islam itself too.

 

As to your second question, you need to learn. Even if there is no one to teach you, you can access many you tube videos on the net that will help you in that.

 

Islam is built on praying and fasting, so if one says I am a Muslim and practices none of that it means that his claim is not genuine.

 

I hope you can start soon insha Allah.

 

Almighty Allah knows best.

 

Assalamu alaicoum. I am a Muslim and my classmates are Christian. Sometimes they call me a terrorist or laugh at my religion, say bad things about Islam. Should I keep in touch with them, help them? May I invite them for iftar for dawah purpose? Jazakumullah khairan.



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu waRahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

 

We are at times when much negative coverage is poisoning the minds of people about Islam. Islamophobes are making an industry that is not just serving their propaganda but yet making them lots of money too.

 

So with that in mind, lots of people even Muslims themselves will hate Islam and think bad of it. Our only way is to promote the Islam we know practiced by the mainstream which calls for love and justice and peace.

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I suggest that you invest time with people in Dawah if you feel they are willing to respect you and your faith. But people who are full of hate not willing to even listen to you and respect you do not waste your time with them.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Respected islamic friends and scholars, assalamu alaikkum. Please clarify my doubt. I know that our prophet and his friends had fought many battles against non muslims(those who tried to kill all muslims and to destroy islam) for their self defense and have taken them as slaves. Please tell whether they had ever fought against and captured the cities of non muslims who are not a threatening or a danger for the islamians. The reason for why iam asking this question is i have got confused on the issue that, the terrorists groups like isis are claiming that they are trying to establish their caliphate across iraq and syria and so they are doing jihad as like our islamic ancestors did during the prophet's period and the four khalifa's period. By saying this they are explaining the reason for why they are killing all the non muslims across the iraq and syrian border and also taking them as slaves.



Wa `alaykum As-Salamu waRahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

 

Jihad can be personal struggle for doing good deeds or on a community level.

If on a community level to protect property or land it must go through proper channel of authority and based on legitimate reasons and concerns. Most of these groups who claim representing Islam and waging war on their Muslim brothers are not on the proper meaning of Jihad. They are either political groups serving their own interests or fake groups pushed by special interest groups to harm Islam.

 

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Almighty Allah knows best.