Dear brothers and sisters,

Thanks for sharing your struggles.

Check out the 8 questions our counselor just answered. Didn’t see yours? No worries! Join our next session or resubmit your question for another chance to get advice. Stay tuned for more!

Question 1. I have a lots of OCD thoughts for 3 years 

“I have a very very bad OCD  and I can’t control my thought and still lm 16 years old and I soo young for this my question this how I can control myself because I’m sure no video in youtube about waswasa not seen by me. Tell me the best way to heal myself. And question 2:  I pray and make dua and I don’t know why Allah doesn’t  completely help me, and heal me. Tell me the best dua I wanna, Allah accept me completely”.

Wa Alaikum Assalam, sister,

Thank you for reaching out. You mentioned that you have a very bad OCD and you cannot control your thoughts. You have seen many videos on YT about waswasa but you are looking for the best way to heal yourself and manage these thoughts. 

Firstly, know that everyone experiences thoughts they can’t control, and this is completely natural. We were created this way. Our minds generate thoughts all the time, and it doesn’t mean these thoughts reflect who we are or have any deeper meaning. 

So, if you’re experiencing certain thoughts, it’s important not to label them as “good” or “bad”—they’re simply thoughts, not a reflection of you, your character or the level of your faith.

Allah (SWT) doesn’t hold us accountable for our thoughts, only for our words, actions and intentions. So when these thoughts arise, try to notice them without attaching importance to them. Let them come and go, without overthinking or judging yourself for having them. In fact, resisting or trying hard not to think about something often makes it even harder to avoid, as our minds tend to focus more on what we’re trying to push away.

Instead, shift your focus to what you can control—your actions and your choices. For instance, you can choose to speak good, to be kind, to do good deeds, to help others, and to act in ways that please Allah. Hope to be rewarded for them, as this is what Allah promised us in the Quran. 

As for your second question about du’as, you mentioned praying for help but feeling that relief hasn’t fully come. Sometimes, Allah (SWT) doesn’t answer our du’as immediately because the timing isn’t right, or He may have something even better planned for us. It’s also possible that healing will come gradually as you develop new ways of managing these thoughts, as discussed above.

If you find that these thoughts continue to impact your well-being, consider speaking to a mental health professional, ideally one who is Muslim or familiar with faith-based approaches. They can help you develop practical techniques to manage intrusive thoughts and anxiety. Reaching out in this way can be an empowering step in your journey, and it’s part of seeking help in a way that is pleasing to Allah.

Finally, here’s a du’a for anxiety and sadness that may bring comfort:

“O Allah, I seek refuge in You from worry and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts, and being overpowered by men.”

May Allah ease your worries, strengthen your heart, and make this journey easier for you, ameen.

Question 2. Rights of a dead husband 

My husband and I never really got along. He was away at work for weeks at a time leaving me to take care of the household and children. When he came home he complained that I shouted too much and that I didn’t do a good job of looking after the children. Finally he packed his things and left. He didn’t even tell me. I suddenly found his clothes gone. We stayed separated for 2 years. Then he died. I am wondering to what extent am I responsible in front of God? Since he is dead and I can no longer try and fix it with him.

Wa alaykum salam, dear sister,

Thank you for reaching out to us. You mentioned that you and your husband didn’t always get along well and that during his life, he worked away from home for weeks while you cared for the children. When he would come home, he would complain that you were shouting too much or not doing a good enough job with the children. Eventually, he packed his things, left, and you remained separated for two years before he passed away. Now, you’re wondering about your responsibility in front of Allah for what happened.

Firstly, I am truly sorry for your loss. The passing of a spouse is deeply painful, and it’s normal to have these questions and doubts. However, I want to assure you that you are NOT responsible for the death of your husband. As Muslims, we believe that everything happens by the will of Allah, and nothing can harm a person unless it is written for them. Your husband’s death was part of his qadr (destiny), which Allah had written for him. You did not have the power to change this.

At the same time, we are accountable for our actions and behavior. Perhaps there were moments where you said or did things that you now regret, and that’s something many people experience. But remember that Allah, in His infinite mercy, forgives all sins if we turn to Him sincerely. Allah reminds us multiple times in the Qur’an that He is the Most Forgiving. If we have wronged someone or made mistakes, we have the opportunity to repent and seek His forgiveness.

One of the greatest blessings we have as Muslims is the ability to make tawbah (repentance). If you feel regretful about how things went with your husband, sincerely repent to Allah. Ask for His forgiveness with a heart full of remorse and trust that He will forgive you, inshaAllah. Allah’s mercy is vast, and if you turn to Him sincerely, He will not turn away.

If you feel you have wronged your husband and can no longer seek his forgiveness directly because he has passed, there are still actions you can take. You can write a letter or a diary expressing your apologies—sometimes just putting those feelings into words helps. Additionally, you can perform good deeds on behalf of him. Give charity, make du’a for him, and ask Allah to forgive him. These are ways in which you can still benefit him even though he is no longer with you.

I also want to remind you that feeling guilty is a natural part of the grieving process. It’s common for people to question themselves and feel responsible for the death of a loved one, even when there was nothing they could have done. This guilt is often part of mourning, and while there may have been real issues between you, the feelings of guilt are also a reflection of your grief. In time, inshaAllah, you will come to accept Allah’s decree and find peace.

Lastly, if you feel overwhelmed by grief, I encourage you to seek help from a counselor who can support you through this process. It’s important to have the right guidance along the way. May Allah make it easy for you, bring you peace, and guide you toward healing.

InshaAllah, with time, reflection, and repentance, you will find comfort and be able to settle any feelings of guilt in your heart. May Allah bless you and guide you through this difficult time.

Question 3. Addiction and faith

“As salam alaykum waramatulah wabarakatu,

These past few years my life has been misery growing worse  with time . I don’t know if i am writing to seek help or not i guess I’m just writing.

Past two years i have been dealing with decline in iman and then it  got worse now I’m a porn addict 

I’m a depressed and lonely person i don’t have any friends i think I’m not destined to have friends that just care for me I guess it is what it is.

And yes I try to change I join an alim school.I’m currently a student of knowledge but nothing changed, I deleted most of socials I’m still a porn addict.

Just tired of the cycle of sin and repentance i don’t even feel remorse anymore my heart is dead. 

I sometimes wish I was an animal or a dust or something else except being human.

Don’t wish to live and I don’t wish to die  I just want to be far away where I don’t have to worry about anything, just frustrated. I lost interest in may things  I’m just a sinful lonely person.

Yh I hope one day I find my peace again. 

Wa alaykum salam, dear brother.

Thank you for reaching out to us. You mentioned that you’re 20 years old, struggling with a decline in your iman (faith), and feeling depressed and lonely. You believe you aren’t destined to have friends who care about you, despite trying to change schools and seeking knowledge. On top of that, you’re dealing with porn addiction and feel trapped in a cycle of sin and repentance.

First, I am sorry for what you have experiencing. At the end of your letter, you say, you hope that one day you will find your peace, and you will, brother, by the will of Allah! There is a way out! If you have thoughts about giving up, please call this or this hotline, or text here, immediately!

You mentioned that you’re stuck in a cycle of sin and repentance and that you no longer feel remorse. This could be because addiction alters your emotional responses and can make it difficult to confront your feelings. It could also be that your addiction causes you so much guilt and other emotional struggles that you end up in depression and hopelessness. Any way, it is crucial to address the addiction itself as soon as possible. 

I want to address the issue of addiction. Addiction is not simply a habit that you can easily choose to stop. It is often classified as a disorder, and it requires proper treatment. Like any other serious issue, such as a physical illness, it’s important to seek professional help. I strongly encourage you to reach out to a counselor or therapist who specializes in addiction. This is the first crucial step in your recovery.

Once you start the path of recovery, you’ll also be able to look into the deeper issues that may have contributed to the addiction—things like past trauma, emotional pain, or other environmental factors. Feelings of loneliness, unworthiness, and not being “good enough” are thoughts and beliefs about yourself that need to be explored, questioned, and transformed with the help of a professional.

The fact that you’re seeking help is proof that you want change. Even though you feel trapped right now, know that there IS a way out, and many people have successfully overcome similar struggles. Allah always provides means and guidance, and by seeking help, you’re already taking the first step toward healing.

I encourage you to trust in Allah’s plan and timing. Even if the path feels difficult, know that Allah is always with you and that you have the strength to overcome this challenge. Seek out addiction counseling, take the necessary steps, and trust that with patience, effort, and reliance on Allah, you will find healing, inshaAllah. I share some links here:

Awareacademy

Purify Your Gaze

May Allah guide you, strengthen you, and make your path to recovery easy. Do not hesitate to seek the help you need. You are not alone in this journey, and there are many who have recovered from similar challenges. I’m confident that you can be one of those who overcome this and find peace, inshaAllah.

Question 4. Having Problems Believing 

I had full faith in Allah before I had bad thoughts about Allah waswas, I had anxiety, depression and scared, thought Allah was going to kill me and punish me. Then went to a hafiz he said you don’t believe and it’s just waswas, but the thoughts didn’t stop it got worse, i didn’t pray before or fast and i sinned I’m not proud of that, it kept stressing me out and than 4 to 5 months still have the negative thinking and I couldn’t stop. I was over thinking couldn’t calm my mind. Then I thought it appeared twice. I didn’t believe in Allah or I’ve lost my faith, I had depression and anxiety and stress again, and couldn’t eat or sleep properly. Then I started to learn to pray but the thought that I didn’t believe in Allah came. I went to the iman and I relapsed. He said pray and read Quran and gave me books to read. I have OCD and over thinking and I couldn’t stop thinking that I didn’t believe or I was overthinking I did. I crashed a couple times and now when I learn something that makes sense I feel nothing or can’t connect. An example when the Quran says all creatures on earth are made from water and most of our body is water. I felt this understanding of enlightenment, but now I can’t feel that connection. I don’t know what to do.

Wa Alaikum Assalam, and thank you for reaching out. 

I understand you’re struggling with difficult thoughts about Allah (SWT) and experiencing feelings of anxiety and depression. I am sorry to hear of this, and I hope the following guidance brings you some comfort and clarity.

First, remember that we aren’t responsible for every thought that comes into our minds. Thoughts naturally arise, and this is simply part of being human. In Islam, we are only held accountable for our actions, our words, and our intentions—not for random or intrusive thoughts. Thoughts are part of our cognitive processing but  are beyond our complete control. So, even if these thoughts trouble you, they do not define you or your faith, nor will you be judged for them.

In our tradition, the term waswasa refers to inner whispers that may lead either to doubts or temptation. It seems to me that you are dealing with the former. It’s normal to experience doubts from time to time, especially about matters that are deeply important to us, including religion. In fact, almost everyone experiences doubts in some form, and Allah (SWT) understands the challenges we face.

But having these doubts doesn’t mean anything unless you’re acting on them. As I said above, you are not accountable for them, only for your actions and words. 

They do not make you less believer either. 

On the other hand, you say that you’re dealing with anxiety and depression. I encourage you to explore what might be at the root of these feelings. Even if your anxiety is related to religion, it does not necessarily be a religious issue.

While your thoughts might feel related to Islam, the cause could be psychological or even biological. Seeking the help of a professional and addressing this at all levels is crucial. 

A mental health professional will assess your situation, perhaps through some tests and evaluation, and determine whether treatment—therapeutic, medical, or both—might be helpful. And if you’re able to find a Muslim counselor or therapist, their religious background can give extra comfort, as your concern is related to your faith. However, it’s not a requirement; the most important thing is finding someone skilled who can help guide you through managing anxiety and intrusive thoughts.

So to conclude, try to observe these thoughts without attaching too much meaning to them. Let them come and go without letting them overwhelm you. Meanwhile, seek help for your anxiety. 

May Allah make it easy for you and bring you peace.

Question 5. If my dua doesn’t get answered, is it a trial or a punishment

Hello, I will try to keep this very brief. For about seven years now I have been praying for the same thing. Every rainfall, every sujood, every jumma, every tahajjud, every Ramadan, I’ve made some variation of a dua for this thing. In about a week I will find out if my dua is answered. If i don’t get this thing is it A. because I don’t deserve this thing/ a punishment for my bad deeds or B. the timing isn’t right/ Allah has something better for me.  I have been making the same dua for so long that at this point the anxiety isn’t just about the dua being answered, it’s also about my relationship with god. I’m worried that if I don’t receive this thing it will be a reflection of how Allah sees me/ a consequence of my actions. I’m so scared, not only for the outcome of this dua but also that this is a sign that I’m not good enough. How can I know if this dua not being answered is a punishment or a trial. 

I want comfort that regardless of the outcome of this dua, Allah loves me and I haven’t fallen out of his favor. 

Wa alaykum salam, dear sister,

Thank you for sharing your concerns with us. 

You mentioned that for about seven years, you’ve been making the same du’a (supplication) and are now questioning why it hasn’t been answered. You wonder if it’s because you don’t deserve it, if it’s a punishment for past actions, or if the timing just isn’t right and Allah has something better planned for you. You’re also worried that if this du’a isn’t fulfilled, it might be a reflection of how Allah sees you, making you fear that you’re not good enough.

Let me start by addressing the question of whether a situation is a punishment or a trial. The key to this is perspective. Every challenge we face can either be seen as a punishment or as a test. If we view it as a trial, the important question to ask ourselves is: “What does Allah want to teach me through this test?” By adopting this mindset, we can focus on what lessons we can learn, how we can improve, and how we can grow closer to Allah during the process. While the situation itself may not change, this shift in perspective can help you find peace, patience, and contentment as you face the test.

Next, regarding your concern about why your du’a is not being answered, the solution again lies in the right perspective. 

It’s important to remember that Allah knows what is best for us, even when we do not. 

You may recall the Quran that says sometimes we desire something that isn’t good for us, and we dislike something that is actually beneficial: 

Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you and like something which is bad for you. Allah knows and you do not know. (Quran 2:216)

In other words, what we want is not always what we need!

Allah’s wisdom is greater than our understanding, and He knows what is truly in our best interest. We might not always be able to see the wisdom behind unanswered prayers, but trusting in Allah’s timing and plan helps to overcome these doubts.

You mentioned feeling anxious and worrying that your unanswered du’a is a sign of Allah’s displeasure. But I want to ask: what proof do you have that if Allah doesn’t grant your du’a, it’s because you’re not good enough or that He is punishing you? Where does the Qur’an state that an unanswered du’a is a sign that you’re not worthy of love or that Allah doesn’t love you? These may be fears and worst-case scenarios that influence your thoughts, not the reality of your relationship with Allah.

If you find that these doubts and fears are overwhelming, it may be helpful to seek counseling, where you can explore these thoughts and see how much they’re based on reality. A professional can help you reframe your perspective and beliefs about yourself, which may improve depending on how you interpret the events in your life. In sha Allah, with a more positive outlook on life, you will feel more at peace.

Lastly, remember that everything in this life happens according to Allah’s divine plan, and our role is to have tawakkul (trust in Allah) and accept His will. When making du’a, we should do so with the understanding that Allah knows what is best for us and will give us what we truly need, even if it’s not what we want at the moment.

Sometimes, we may ask for things that are unrealistic, not halal, or not in line with our overall purpose in life. If Allah doesn’t grant those things, it’s because they aren’t what’s best for us, and this is a sign of His wisdom and mercy. Just like a mother who withholds too much—let’s say—sweets from her child out of love, even though the child may desire it, Allah withholds certain things from us to protect us from harm, even if we can’t see it at the time.

In conclusion, continue making your du’a with hope and trust that Allah will give you what is best for you at the right time. Don’t lose faith, and know that unanswered prayers are not a sign of Allah’s displeasure but rather His wisdom. Keep trusting in His plan and timing, and inshaAllah, you will find peace and clarity.

May Allah make it easy for you and guide you to what is best for you in this life and the next.

Question 6. Period

Aslmo Alakume my question is about my period it takes only 7 days but the problem is when I eat too much food or drink too much or drinks cold thing my period will stop a moment and than continue but If I eat to much food or I overeat if my period have to end in the in the 7 day it will probably end in the 9th day and this means to me I have to re pray all the Slahal because it was my flair for overeating drinking cold water and I notice something when I am in my period something is telling me don’t eat too much or drink cold water and that’s true because if I do that it will take days or long for my period to be clean.

Salam alikom, dear sister,

Thanks for writing to us. 

I am not a scholar but a counselor, but let me answer briefly your concern. 

You say, “This means to me I have to re-pray all the Slahal because it was my flair for overeating drinking cold water”. 

As far as I know, we have no indication that you have to make up prayers due to your change in diet during menses. This is from a religious point of view. And from a scientific point of view, there is no evidence that drinking cold water will affect the duration of your menses. Please read this article about myths regarding diet during this period. 

Also, this study I found about fat consumption and menses duration seems to prove exactly the opposite, an increase and not decrease in duration. 

In this sense, you have no control over your menses, and it is completely normal that women have a fluctuating time period. For you, it seems that it is between 7-9 days. During this time, you have to refrain from prayer and go back to it once you have concluded that it is over and have done the ritual bath. 

Read more here: 

Nutritional Considerations for a Healthy Menstrual Cycle

I hope this helps. May Allah make it easy for you. 

Question 7. Riya

Recently I met sisters in deen and I got motivated through them alhamdulillah..but they are sometimes constantly on my mind, I know every good thing comes from Allah swt !..but I think it\’s Shaytans trick to distract me..and sometimes during salah also I’m distracted ..I love them but I don\’t want my mind to occupy them..I want to think only of Allah constantly.

Wa Alaikum Assalam, sister,

Thank you for reaching out to us. You mentioned meeting some sisters who are inspiring, and it sounds like the connection has brought you joy, Alhamdulillah. 

However, your concern is that thinking about them is becoming a distraction, particularly during your prayers. While you care about them, you don’t want your thoughts to dwell on them so much, especially during your acts of worship. You wish to focus constantly on Allah (SWT). 

It’s understandable to feel a bit conflicted in this situation. Let me reassure you that it’s perfectly normal to have thoughts and emotions that seem to arise spontaneously. In fact, it’s part of being human—our minds naturally wander and bring up various thoughts, whether about friends, family, or other aspects of our lives.

This isn’t something we can fully control, and it’s okay. These thoughts don’t define you, nor do you have to see them as signs of diminished connection with Allah. 

Being around positive and inspiring people is a blessing, and it’s natural for their presence in your life to be on your mind. As much as we strive to keep our focus solely on Allah, it’s important to approach this goal with a sense of balance and compassion for ourselves. Are we expected to think all the time about Allah SWT? No, we are not. 

Even if we look at prayer, where we are striving to attain kushuu (presence), our thoughts will naturally drift from time to time. Does this mean we’re not sincere in our worship? Of course not. It is rather the reflection of our imperfect human nature. What matters is making efforts to guide our attention back when it does drift, rather than expecting perfection, which is unattainable.

Psychologically, there’s something known as the “white bear effect,” where the more we try to avoid a thought, the more it persists. So, instead of struggling to push these thoughts away, try simply acknowledging them and then letting them pass, as if they’re clouds drifting across the sky. 

During prayer, just aim to focus on the words, movements, and connection with Allah to the best of your ability. If other thoughts come up, gently let them go, knowing that this is normal. The effort you put into maintaining focus is what truly matters. Remember, prayer is just a few minutes at a time, five times a day. So with practice, we can improve our focus during this period of time, in sha Allah. Outside of that, it’s perfectly fine to think about other people and things that matter to you.

Insha’Allah, this approach will ease your concerns, and may Allah make it easy for you. 

Question 8. How do you “balance it all?”

Asalaam aleykum! I’m a college student right now for a hard degree that requires a lot of my attention. On top of that I have to focus on my health (diet and gym), social life, and the deen. I know we have to place the deen above all else but sometimes the other stuff makes you so tired that you can’t. How do I deal with the stressors of life while staying true to myself and my faith? I know logically I feel better when I do more for my deen but I can’t seem to find the time for it all. 

Wa Alaikum Assalam, sister,

Thank you for reaching out. You’re balancing a lot right now—your college studies, your health goals, your social life, and most importantly, your commitment to your faith. It’s wonderful that you’re trying to prioritize your deen, masallah. 

Know that it’s natural to feel overwhelmed when there’s so much commitment. Let’s talk about how you might approach this without stress and overload.

First, remember that Allah (SWT) doesn’t expect us to be perfect or engaged in worship 24/7. Only our Creator is perfect, and we, creations, are not. We’re humans, and our journey is lifelong and a gradual growth. 

What matters is your sincere intention and the small, consistent steps you take to strengthen your relationship with Allah. 

So, start by focusing on the obligatory acts of worship—like your daily prayers—and find time for them even when life gets busy. Start with making sure that these fard prayers are done, which are no more than a few minutes, 5 times a day. 

If you are constant and regular with this, you can incorporate additional worship when and where it fits best in your day. How?

One approach you could try is selecting one additional act of worship that resonates with you. Maybe it’s reading a page of the Quran, doing some daily dhikr, the morning or evening duas/adhkar, or adding two voluntary rak’ahs after one of your prayers. 

Start small; give yourself just five minutes extra a day for one of them. For example, you could set a goal to recite a few verses of the Quran after one of your daily prayers or to do a few minutes of dhikr. Choose a time that feels realistic for you and commit to it for a week. Once you have accomplished that, extend it another week. Gradually, it will become a natural part of your routine, in sha Allah.

Then, you can set another small goal and go for it the same way.

It’s also important to organize your time so that you’re not overwhelmed by all your commitments. Prioritize what truly matters and know it’s okay to say no to things that might overburden you. Also, make sure that you minimize distractions. One of the main time killers is social media, and this same thing is also responsible for too high expectations. If you are constantly bombarded with shorts and reminders of religious duties and worship, you can easily conclude that you are not doing enough. Try to minimize and limit the time you spend on your phone; it will make a difference! 

Lastly, remember to reward yourself for each step you take, no matter how small. Every effort you make toward Allah is valuable, and He recognizes and rewards that effort. May Allah make it easy for you!