As salamu alaykum sister,

I am a bit confused, as “Marriage (nikah) is a solemn and sacred social contract between bride and groom. This contract is a strong covenant “mithaqun Ghalithun” as expressed in Quran 4:21)”.    If this is what you are talking about, then you are already married as you  stated you had your nikkah a year ago, and there is no need for another marriage which you stated you were planning “next month”.  If you are speaking of a state or country license, it would still make no difference because once you do Nikkah, you are married in the “sight” of Allah SWT.

As far as his complaints dear sister, the first year or two of marriage is an adjustment wherein each must exercise patience, compassion and compromise while learning each other.  Also, often times people enter a marriage with differing expectations, cultural differences (although that should not be a barrier as Islamic rules and guidelines apply to all) as well as different skill sets.  Insha’Allah these will be refined over time.  Sister, it sounds like you truly want to please your husband and while you did not elaborate, you sound like a good wife.  Perhaps the difference in age, while not that big, is playing a factor.  Perhaps he came from a different kind of family than you wherein wives acted a certain way.  I do not know, however, I do know you seek to please him and that in itself is a blessing, may Allah reward you.  I would kindly suggest you put off whatever “marriage” you were planning next month until you both resolve these issues.  I would suggest insha’Allah that you both go for marriage counseling, preferably with an Islamic counselor given the nature of your problems.  Perhaps with a third party such as an imam, you both can develop a list of ideals and needs that you have for this marriage, and then compromise that which is allowable.   Also, you have rights in a marriage sister just as your husband does.  Please research what your rights are as well as examples of good marriages in Islam.  There are many!  As you are seeking to please your husband and be a good wife, I am sure you will succeed.  Marriage is not something we go into knowing everything, it is something we grow into and your husband should be kind and patient and appreciate the fact that he has a wife who loves him and strives to please him.

We wish you the best sister, you are in our prayers, please let us know how you are doing.