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On Being A Convert/Revert to Islam (Q & A Session)

Theresa Corbin
04 April, 2017

Asalamu Alaikum brothers and sisters, 

As people enter Islam, grow into their faith, the questions don’t stop after a year or even 20. Islam is a lifetime of learning and growing. For this reason, we are pleased to offer a live session for converts/revert to Islam who may not be so new to the deen.

This session will be dedicated to answering questions from converts/reverts who have been Muslims for some time. 

The session host will be writer and convert to Islam, Theresa Corbin. So please, jot down your questions and join us Friday, April 7th, from 3 PM-5 PM GMT  (6 PM – 8 PM Makkah) (11 AM – 1 PM New York)

If you won’t be available during this time, but you have questions that need answers, don’t worry! You can email your questions in advance to [email protected], and our counselor will include them in the Live Session. 

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Friday, Apr. 07, 2017 | 18:00 - 20:00 GMT

Session is over.
DISCLAIMER
Views expressed by hosts/guests on this program (live dialogue, Facebook sessions, etc.) are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent.  

Easter Sunday-Can I participate with the fam?



Salam, 

Thank you for trusting me with your question. I understand that there are many different opinions on this matter and it is something that can cause a lot of anxiety for converts with non-Muslim families. 

I believe it is up to each of convert/revert to Islam to navigate these Christian holidays such as Easter and Christmas as delicately as possible. On the one hand, we do not want to participate in the shirk and haram that many traditions surrounding these holiday entail. But we also do not want to damage the ties of kinship. 

It is up to each convert to Islam to make this call for him or herself and what is right for their situation because it is only you who will know how your family will react to your absence if you choose to not join them. And only you will know if they will pressure you too much to do the haram on these occasions. 

If you can stay away from the shirk and haram that is done on these occasion then joining your family on this day is something to consider. Because if you are simply sharing a meal with family and your intention is to keep good ties, then inshaAllah there is no harm if the day just so happens to be a Christian holiday. 

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I hope this helps. 

Salam. 

I have been told that I can't have close bonds with non-Muslims. None of my family are Muslim and I don't want to cut ties with them! What should I do?



Salam,

Thank you for trusting me with your question. Some heritage Muslims will tell the convert to Islam that they must cut their ties with all non-Muslims because of the following verse in the Quran. {[…] whoever makes friends with them [non-Muslims], these are wrong-doers}.

I am sure these brothers and sister in faith who convey this idea to converts, have the best intentions in mind. But it seems the idea of not having ties with non-Muslim is not exactly true. The context of the verse is important:

{Allah does not forbid you respecting those who have not made war against you on account of (your) religion, and have not driven you forth from your homes, that you show them kindness and deal with them justly; surely Allah loves the doers of justice.

Allah only forbids you respecting those who made war upon you on account of (your) religion, and drove you forth from your homes and backed up (others) in your expulsion, that you make friends (and ally) with them, and whoever makes friends with them, these are wrong-doers.} (Al-Mumtahanah 60:8-9)

It is quite clear that Islam teaches us to keep ties of kith and kin and to treat people with kindness. This is especially true of family ties. Allah says in a Hadith Qudsi:

Allah, the exalted, says: I am the Most Merciful, I created Ar-rahim (the womb) and I cut out a name for it from my name, so whoever keeps good ties with it, I will keep good ties with him, and whoever cuts it off, I will cut him and finish him off. (Imam Ahmad, Abu Dawud and At-Tirmidhi)

Here we understand the ties that are created from the womb (the family ties) are very important. 

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Furthermore, in the following verse we understand Allah’s reason for making us all different, and it is not so that we can break ties:

{O you people We have created you from a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes that you may know each other. The best among you is the most pious} (Al-Hujurat 49:13).

Dr. Said Ismail Seeni says about the above verse that:

Islam did not come to break the ties between human beings, to spread hatred and enmity, or to encourage bloodshed. Nor did it come to eliminate the freedom of choice in this life, which is secured by God. Indeed, even Satan was granted the freedom to choose between obeying and disobeying his Lord, he misused this gift and chose to disobey.

So, rest assured that you should absolutely keep family ties and keep your non-Muslim friends. But you should also be sure not to allow these ties to lead you to the haram. 

I hope this helps. 

Salam. 

How can I convince my family that Islam does not oppress me as a woman? Even though I have been a Muslim for years, they still believe this myth about women in Islam.



Salam,

Thank you for trusting me with your question. I am sorry you are having a hard time with your family. Unfortunately, these myths about Islam can be hard to overcome because they are so ingrained in the Western thinking. It also does not help that some Muslims do oppress women in direct contradiction to what Islam teaches. 

What I recommend is that you ask them to look to the source of Islam and not what some Muslims do. Ask them why it is that the largest group of people coming to Islam in the fastest growing religion on earth are Western women if Islam oppresses women. Ask them to tell you how they see Islam oppressing you. And ask them to be specific. And them be there, full of patience and love, to answer them. 

Know for sure that they are coming from a place of love and concern for your well being. Know that unlearning misinformation can take time. But if you are patient and loving with them and help educate them, they will shed this idea about Islam.

There is are many great resource on the topic of the status of women in Islam here on About Islam for you and your family to check out. This page in particular can be a resource to you to answer your family’s questions. And if you wish, you can send them this Ted Talk that addresses women’s status in Islam. 

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I hope this helps. 

Salam. 

I am not ready to wear Hijab yet. What steps do you suggest I take?



Salam,

Thank you for trusting me with your question. It is one that I am sure is on the minds of many convert women these days, as Islam is growing fast and most of those converting are in fact women. There are two different ways that you can prepare yourself or even motivate yourself to wear hijab, one being spiritual and the other physical.

In the spiritual approach, which is extremely effective, you can learn about your Lord. The more we know about Allah and all His attributes, including mercy and love, the more we come to love Him and want to please Him. Look around you at all He has created, ponder on His might and unlimited ability to create and sustain us and all that exists. This kind of pursuit of knowledge will cause you to taste or increase in iman (faith), which is sweeter than anything in this world. Draw closer to Allah by doing as many good deeds as you can and staying away from the bad deeds with the intention of attaining Allah’s love. Our goal in this life is all about returning to our originator, Allah. When we do these things, Allah comes closer to us and makes the seemingly impossible, possible.

In a Hadith Qudsi Allah says:

He who draws close to Me a hand’s span, I will draw close to him an arm’s length. And whoever draws near Me an arm’s length, I will draw near him a fathom’s length. And whoever comes to Me walking, I will go to him running. And whoever faces Me with sins nearly as great as the earth, I will meet him with forgiveness nearly as great as that, provided he does not worship something with me. (reported by Muslim, Ibn Majah, and Ahmad).

So the closer you come to Allah, the closer Allah comes to you and will make all things easy for you. When you come closer to Allah, Allah will put the love of all that He loves in your heart and that inshaAllah will include modesty and following His command of hijab.

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As for the physical steps, simply do your best to dress modestly. Wear longer, looser clothing when you leave the house. If you were wearing shorts before, try wearing something longer. If you were wearing tight tops before, try wearing something a bit looser. If you were not covering your hair, try to start wearing hats or loose scarves. Take the steps toward hijab gradually. This inshaAllah will make the transition easier. But hijab is not just about covering the hair. It is about being modest in all respects. It is a manifestation of faith: a faith that transforms the heart to incline toward humility and modesty. But this doesn’t happen overnight. Give yourself time and keep taking steps toward modesty and toward Allah. And Allah will without a doubt come closer to you and make your journey easy.

It might also help to inspire you to read here and here about why other women wear hijab. 

I hope this helps. 

Salam.