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On Being A Convert/Revert to Islam (Q&A Session)

Theresa Corbin
01 March, 2017

Asalamu Alaikum brothers and sisters, 

As people enter Islam, grow into their faith, the questions don’t stop even after a year or even 20. Islam is a lifetime of learning and growing. For this reason, we are pleased to offer a live session for converts/reverts to Islam who may not be so new to the deen.

This session will be dedicated to answering questions from converts/reverts who have been Muslims for some time. 

The session host will be writer and convert to Islam, Theresa Corbin. So please, jot down your questions and join us Friday, March 3rd, from 5 PM – 7 PM GMT  (8 PM – 10 PM Makkah) ( 12 PM –  2 PM New York)

If you won’t be available during this time, but you have questions that need answers, don’t worry! You can email your questions in advance to [email protected], and our counselor will include them in the Live Session. 

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Friday, Mar. 03, 2017 | 20:00 - 22:00 GMT

Session is over.
DISCLAIMER
Views expressed by hosts/guests on this program (live dialogue, Facebook sessions, etc.) are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent.  

I am married to a Middle Eastern man. I feel under pressure from him and his family to adapt to Middle Eastern culture. I am from the West, so I find it all a little too much to handle especially because I am getting certain things confused with Islam. How can I stop this confusion? Do I really need to adapt to a different culture other than that which I am used to?



Asalamu Alaikum,

Allah (SWT) has guided you–culture and all–for a reason. What Allah asks of us as Muslims is that we examine our actions, intentions, and refine our manners. That’s it. He doesn’t ask us to change our culture for another. 

The thing is that there is so much cultural diversity among Muslims. There was even diversity among the companions of the Prophet (PBUH). It is not exactly conceivable that a certain culture is more endorsed by Islam than another. It takes diversity to make a healthy, functioning society.

However, if you find that there are some bad manners you have adopted from your culture (and certainly there are some in every culture), then Allah asks you to leave the bad. If there are some good manners that you have adopted from your culture (and certainly there are many in every culture), then Allah asks you to keep the good.  

When we come to Islam, this is our priority after learning to pray. When we get married, this process is sped up because as converts we are now under the microscope and our cultural habits are being examined in contrast to another culture. Many heritage Muslims (those raised as Muslim) never have to go through this process of examining their culture in relation to Islam because it is taught to them as the same thing even though sometimes it is not the same thing.

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Husbands from Muslim majority countries often expect a newly converted wife to change her culture to his, to be more like his idea of what a Muslim women should be. But really, he wants her to be like what he thinks a woman “back home” should be like. The fact that you are coming from a non-Muslim majority country might be compounding this issue in his mind.

That being said, it is vital for you to learn from the sources of the Quran and Sunnah what exactly is expected of you as a Muslim. If it doesn’t come from these sources, then you can feel free to discount it, or better yet, discuss it with your husband.

Marriage is work and intercultural marriage is extra work. That doesn’t mean it is impossible. You just need to know what Islam says, what his culture dictates, and what you are not willing to do or change. All this will take time so have patience and wisdom.

Also, check out this article on the cultural baggage many new Muslims encounter, and this article about intercultural marriages for more info. 

I hope this helps. May Allah bless your marriage and increase you in beneficial knowledge.

Assalomu Allaikoom, I have been Muslim now for some time and I want to start wearing hijab, but I am feeling great pressure to change the way and style of my dress. I know I have to be modest and cover myself, but surely I can do that in a Western style rather than wear long black abayas I do not feel comfortable in wearing. Is this an Islamic requirement? Or can I wear my Western style as long as it fulfills the requirements of covering?



Asalamu Alaikum,

Your question is one that I had for many, many years and could not find a direct answer too. So, I hope this helps many sisters out there whether that are converts or not. The short answer to your question is black abayas are not a must.

You can absolutely wear any cultural style you feel comfortable in as long as it is fulfills the Islamic guidelines of hijab. Western style of clothing is not haram in and of itself. In fact, any cultural style can conform to hijab as long as it follows the following guidelines.

“Obligatory cover: males should cover at least from the navel to the knees. And women should cover the complete body except the face and the hands. Islamic clothes for both sexes should NOT be:

  • So tight to the extent of detailing the figure.
  • Transparent or see-through.
  • So alluring that it is meant only to attract attention.
  • Particular of the opposite sex.
  • Resembling styles that identify — or are symbols of — other’s religions.” –Sahar El-Nadi

Also check out this link that discusses the same topic from a different cultural perspective. 

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I hope this helps. May Allah make you successful in your efforts to draw nearer to Him by following His commands.

Praying in Arabic is too difficult. What can I do?



Asalamu Alaikum,

I know the feeling of panic when facing the seemingly insurmountable challenge of learning the prayer in Arabic. I stood for many prayers with a simple pamphlet in my hand struggling to read the transliteration of the Arabic Quran and dua (supplication) that is said in prayer.

Even after all of that, I found out I was still doing and saying many things incorrectly. Fortunately, converts these days have more resources than pamphlets on prayer. If the Arabic seems impossible to learn or even sound out, listen to Surah Fatiha (it is only 7 short verses) over and over. I assure you it will become like a second nature for you to recite it. And listen to the brother’s prayer in this video as many times as you need to. By listening to the recitation of others, you can learn all you need to say in prayer the same way you learned to memorize your favorite songs.

Learning and perfecting our prayer is a lifelong journey. Don’t rush yourself. Take it a prayer at a time, a day at a time. All you can do is the best you can do and Allah knows you are trying. The good news is you are getting double reward for struggling.

The Prophet (PBUH) said: “Verily the one who recites the Quran beautifully, smoothly, and precisely, he will be in the company of the noble and obedient angels. And as for the one who recites with difficulty, stammering or stumbling through its verses, then he will have twice that reward.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

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So, there is no need to stress when you are getting a two for one deal right now. Just take it easy and try your best.

Also, check out this and this link for more info.

May Allah make all affairs easy for you and grant you success in this life and the next.

My grandmother wants me to go to church with her, not to make me a Christian again, but because she likes to have me with her. Can I go with her?



Asalamu Alaikum,

Islam teaches us that actions are judged by intentions. If your intention in going to church is to be kind to and make your grandmother happy, then it stands to reason that this is a good deed since treating parents and grandparents well is a great deed in Islam. But we have to be careful about stepping into matters that Allah would consider shirk (associating partners with Him).

For example, if you are in church and the pastor or priest asks the congregation to kneel in front of the cross or for some other reason other than worshiping the one true God Who created all things, and you follow suit as a force of habit, then this is a serious issue. As a Muslim, you cannot worship, bow down to, or kneel to a cross, an idol, a man, or commit any other acts of shirk.

But if you go with your grandmother with good intentions and armed with caution and knowledge, then I don’t see any problem with it. However, I am by no means a scholar and my opinion is just an opinion. For a more definitive and accurate answer, I recommend that you send in your question to Ask the Scholar with details about your specific situation.

May Allah guide us to His truth and grant our loved ones guidance.

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