Dear Brothers/Sisters,

Thank you very much for joining us in this Fatwa session. We would also like to thank our guest, Dr. Muhammad Salama, for answering the questions directed to him. You will find the answers to your questions below.

Question 1:

I am a revert sister who embraced Islam 5 years ago, but I was never into practicing islam since. I was married to a Muslim man (religious marriage).
14 months ago, I left my marital home behind my husband’s back without informing him and without proceeding with a divorce or anything, and I have cut off all means of contact with my husband and in-laws. I was so lost, may Allah forgive me and guide me to the right path.
Since 2 weeks I’ve contacted my husband to apologize for what I’ve done and ask him to forgive me for all the harm I’ve done to him and his family, hoping that he’ll take me back. And that’s when I learned that he had divorced me since 10 months ago.
And now I’m having several questions:
Did the divorce take effect knowing that I didn’t know about it? Or did it take effect from the moment I found out?
Do I have to observe a waiting period (ida)? Or did it start from the moment my husband pronounced the divorce?
Also, since I left my marital home I’ve been in an illicit relationship (zina) with a non-Muslim man, so does this have any effect on the waiting period (ida) ?
Please enlighten me on these questions baraka Allahu fikoum.

Answer 1:

In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving.

All praise is due to Allah. Peace and blessings be upon His Prophet Muhammad.

Zina is an enormous sin. One who commits zina has to repent sincerely to Allah and to earnestly ask Him for forgiveness resolving to start a new period of chastity and purity.

He/she needs also to increase their good deeds to wipe out bad ones. After mentioning a number of grave sins, including zina, and the punishment that awaits those who commit them, Allah the Almighty said what means, “Except for whoever repents, and believes, and does righteous deeds. For [the likes of] them, then, Allah will substitute their misdeeds with good deeds. And ever is Allah all-forgiving, mercy-giving.” [Al-Furqan 25:70]

Out of His grace, Allah, the All-Merciful, has opened the gate of repentance wide for all those who repent sincerely and earnestly to Him no matter how grave their sins are. In the Quran we read, “Say, [O Prophet]: O My servants! Those [of you] who have committed [sins in great] excess against their own souls, never despond of the mercy of Allah! For, indeed, Allah forgives sins, one and all. Indeed, it is He [alone] who is the All-Forgiving, the Mercy-Giving.” [Az-Zumar 39:53]

Sincere repentance means a) to regret what one has done, b) to quit it immediately, and c) to have strong resolve that this will never happen again.

As for the `Iddah (waiting period) issue, if your husband divorced you officially or there were witnesses when he divorced you, then the `Iddah started from the moment he divorced you; and thus it had already elapsed in your case.

If this was not the case and there were no witnesses to the divorce, there is difference of opinion among scholars in this regard. Some scholars would count the `Iddah from the moment he divorced you, according the date he mentioned. Some other scholars would count it from the time you have been informed of the divorce. So, please check with your ex-husband in this regard.

It is also noteworthy that you have also to observe `Iddah of zina. This `Iddah is one menstrual period, according to one opinion, or three menstrual periods, according to another opinion.

May Allah accept your repentance and keep you steadfast on practicing Islamic teachings.

Allah knows best.

Question 2:

Can i do a secret nikkah if the parents of my wife are non-muslims

So me and the girl i want to marry know eachother for a little less than a year n we want to get our nikkah done to prevent us from doing any sourt of sin but her dad doesnt pray more than once a month n occasionally drink so i dont really consider him a muslim so he cant be her wali in my pov were both very young and cant move together for maybe 5 to 8 years i wanted to know if we could get our nikkah done so we could stay in contact without it being haram

Answer 2:

In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving.

All praise is due to Allah. Peace and blessings be upon His Prophet Muhammad.

First, branding a Muslim as a disbeliever is not permissible unless based on solid grounds and after the consultation of the people of knowledge. It is not for lay people to practice takfeer (declaring other Muslims as non-Muslims).

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing be upon him) showed the graveness of this practice when he declared “The Messenger of Allah said, “When a person calls his brother (in Islam) a disbeliever, one of them will certainly deserve the title. If the addressee is so as he has asserted, the disbelief of the man is confirmed, but if it is untrue, then it will revert to him.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

So, you are strongly advised to stop branding others as disbelievers. Even if this person does not pray regularly, you are not allowed to brand his as a non-Muslim because this is a controversial issue. Besides, he may repent to Allah and become a better Muslim and closer to Allah than you.

Second, it is not permissible to have a relationship with a girl outside the bond of marriage. If you are serious about marrying her, you have to propose formally to her family and get their approval to conclude the marriage.

Having a Wali (guardian) to conclude the marriage contract is one of the necessary conditions. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “A woman who marries without her Wali (guardian)’s permission her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” [At-Tirmidhi]

If her family refuses, you can do nothing else. You have then to quit your relationship with her and repent to Allah. Man proposes, but God disposes. If you really want to please Allah, you have to resist your passion, follow the legitimate ways, and believe that the outcomes are in His Hands alone. He knows best; and whatever He decrees for both of you will be much better than what you think of.

Allah knows best.

Question 3:

My husband had external intimacy through rubbing his genitals with vagina while I was menstruating. He, although, was not penetrative and he had no intercourse but his body part was touching mine. But it was not internal. He also ejaculated above the vagina and not inside. Is this allowed islamically?

Answer 3:

In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving.

All praise is due to Allah. Peace and blessings be upon His Prophet Muhammad.

Having sexual relation with one’s wife during her menstruation is a heinous sin. The Quran dictates “And they ask you, [O Prophet,] about menstruation. Say: It is a [cause for] harm. So withhold yourselves [from sexual intercourse] with women during menstruation, and do not approach them [there] until they are cleansed.” [Al-Baqarah 2:222]

Therefore, spouses have to be cautious enough and take necessary measures to prevent sexual intercourse during this period.

When a husband needs to approach his wife intimately during her menses, there should be a sort of barrier between their genitals lest he might penetrate her and thus commits a sin.

This is how the Prophet (peace be upon him) used to do. He would command his wife to tie a waist-wrapper and he would approach her intimately. [Al-Bukhari]

Thus, although what your husband did is not haram (prohibited), it is makrūh (disliked/undesirable). In other words, he should not have done that.

Allah knows best.

Question 4:

I always have my hair up in two buns (space buns) at home and I’m not sure if I wipe my hair correctly during wudu. Thanks in advance!

Answer 4:

In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving.

All praise is due to Allah. Peace and blessings be upon His Prophet Muhammad.

In principle, a woman, like a man, should wipe over her entire head when making wudu. Wiping has to be over the head, not just the hair. Thus, it is not valid to wipe over these buns. What you need to do is to infiltrate into their roots with your wet fingers and/or wipe over the space between or in front of them. 

Allah knows best.

Question 5:

When I was only a few months old, my father left me and my mother with my mother’s father. And he married someone else. He failed as a father to me while he and his family were great at caring for and raising the two children that he had with his second wife. My mother’s father raised me as his own child.Now I am 22 years old. I was educated and brought up well by him. Now I’m an Engineering. Because I have no siblings and I have no relation to my father’s family, I think the right person to be my Wally is my mother’s father. Can my mother’s father be wali for my Nikah?

My mother has been on dialysis since I was 4 years old due to kidney disease. Many difficulties have passed. There were financial difficulties. Still, it was my mother’s father who never gave up on me and my mother. He is the one who taught me even when money was difficult.

Answer 5:

In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving.

All praise is due to Allah. Peace and blessings be upon His Prophet Muhammad.

May Allah reward your mother’s father abundantly for his continuous support to you and your mother.

However, the mother’s father may not act as a Wali in the presence of the father. I understand that you may have some negative feelings towards your father because he neglected you, as you said. Still, he is your father, and you need to show respect to and have a good relation with him.

Allah knows best.

Question 6:

My husband lives in Doha Qatar and I am with him as well , I want to come to visit my mom in USA without my husband bc he has no documents yet.
I want to apply for him but his mother is not giving permission she said you can’t go without my permission.
So in Islam do he has to take permission from his mom to get his documents?

Answer 6:

In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving.

All praise is due to Allah. Peace and blessings be upon His Prophet Muhammad.

A man came the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said, “I came to participate in Jihad with you. But I left my parents crying?” the Messenger of Allah said to him, “Go back and make them laugh as you caused them to cry”. [Ahmad and Abu Dawud]

In another case, a man came from Yemen to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) who asked him “Have you left anyone in Yemen?” He said, “My parents.” The Messenger of Allah asked, “Have they given you permission?” The man said, “No.” He said, “Go back to them and seek their permission. If they give you permission, you can engage in Jihad. Otherwise, be obedient to them.”  [Ahmad and Abu Dawud]

These and similar narrations clearly indicate that seeking parents’ permission is necessary before engaging into Jihad when it is a collective obligation. By analogy scholars extend this ruling to any journey that involves exposing one’s life to danger. In such cases, one has to seek permission from his parents.

As for other kinds of travelling that involve no danger, one does not have to seek such a permission as long as his parents are not in need of him and can manage their own affairs.

Still he should gently try to persuade his parents and get their consent before travelling. This is what your husband should do.

Allah knows best.

Question 7:

My friend has a mom where her mom went to a psychic, which I know is haram, her family is also muslim, this psychic told her things that no stranger would know (There was zero prior information given), such as; how her dog just recently died, her dogs name, she brought up stuff about her family and her grandma, and how her mom has the same name as her grandma, she even brought up me and said how apparently I have something to learn from her mom. I do not believe in any of this and have a huge feeling this may be black magic, Is this black magic? What can I do to protect myself? What affect does her bringing me up have on me or my family? And what should my friend do?

Thank you

Answer 7:

In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving.

All praise is due to Allah. Peace and blessings be upon His Prophet Muhammad.

A Muslim has to firmly believe that only Allah knows the realms of the Unseen. Allah says in the Qur’an that “No one in the heaven and earth knows the hidden things except Allah.” [An-Naml 27:65)

Even the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did not know the hidden things except what Allah revealed to him. “Say, I do not say to you that I possess Allah treasures, nor that I have the knowledge of the Unseen…” (Al-An`am 6:50)

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) told us only that which Allah revealed to him and allowed him to tell. No one after him has that knowledge to tell about the future

Thus, these people know such information through jinn agents with whom they have contact or they somehow collect some relevant information about their clients to impress them and gain their trust.  The main goal of these people is to gain fortune and fame by deceiving people.

A Muslim has to avoid such pretenders putting his/her trust in and seeking help and cure from Allah alone

Allah knows best.

Question 8:

Is it permissable for a lady to have contact after divorce with her ex-husband regarding the purpose of matters related to the child? Even the lady is married to another man and he dislike this contact? The parents share the custody, so that every parent has 50% custody.
Thank you in advance for your answer.

Answer 8:

In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving.

All praise is due to Allah. Peace and blessings be upon His Prophet Muhammad.

As long as there are children, it is quite inevitable that ex-spouses would come into contact with each other for the sake of their children. In their contact, they have to fear Allah and observe the Islamic code of conduct for the interaction between men and women.

If her husband does not like such a communication, they can find another person (this could be her husband himself) to facilitate managing the affairs of their children.

Allah knows best.

Question 9:

A week ago I just downloaded a famous Muslim matchmaking app.
Is it halal to find your significant other through these platforms? By talking to them in a halal way to discover their interest and personalities. It is making me feel discomfort because I found that people say that this is Haram.
Please provide some insights on this.
Thank you

Answer 9:

In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving.

All praise is due to Allah. Peace and blessings be upon His Prophet Muhammad.

It is permissible to subscribe to and make use of such matchmaking websites on the condition that they are run by trustworthy persons and are governed by Islamic teachings.

The following are necessary regulations that must be observed in this regard:

• A Muslim has to make sure that the website is trustworthy and is truly Islamically oriented.
• A Muslim has to have a good intention of seeking looking seriously for spouse in a legitimate way, not just wasting time surveying profiles of the other sex members.
• A male and a female members may bot be allowed to have direct contact with each other. Any legitimate contact must be first through the website admins and then formally with the engagement of parents.
• The website may not exhibit detailed body description of women.
• No photos may be exhibited or sent to either part unless under the surveillance of the admin team.

Allah knows best.

Question 10:

I have agarophobia and panic disorder. Can’t go to masjid for palpitation. Had several panic attack at mosque.

Can i pray at home?

Answer 10:

In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving.

All praise is due to Allah. Peace and blessings be upon His Prophet Muhammad.

May Allah help you overcome this disorder. We strongly advise you to seek the proper therapy as this condition negatively affects your life.

This case is an excuse for you not to attend at mosque for daily prayers. As for the Friday congregation, the answer will be based on the degree and severity of these symptoms. You can avoid the crowds by sitting in the back rows or in a car, for example. You may even join the Prayer at the last rak`ah. If these can work with you without suffering sever symptoms, then you have to observe them. If, even with these measures, you still suffer severe symptoms, you have the excuse not to attend Friday Prayer until you can overcome this disorder.

Allah knows best.

Question 11:

I am fully aware of pornographic movies being haram and leading to many negative consequences, pulling young people into addiction. My question is: some of those movies contain characters that wear signs of christianity like a cross necklace or christmas outfits. These are not signs of Islam but are somewhat related to religious topics. Does watching pornographic movies containing religious signs like the cross, hijab etc. entail disbelief if one hates it? Also they sometimes use expressions mentioning god. Since they do this while committing zina, does watching this also entail disbelief even if one hates it in his heart?

Please excuse me for asking such an unpleasant question

Answer 11:

In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving.

All praise is due to Allah. Peace and blessings be upon His Prophet Muhammad.

Watching pornographic content is not only haram, but is a grave sin as it involves deliberate watching of actual zina. It has serious negative consequences on your religiosity and psychology. By time it develops into addiction and the case becomes worse.

Making mockery of Islamic symbols and teachings is tantamount to disbelief. Thus it is prohibited for a Muslim to attend or watch such scenes that involve mockery of Islamic symbols and teachings.  

“Moreover, [recall that] He has already sent down to you [a commandment] in the Book that when you hear the verses of Allah being belied and mocked at [by people], then do not sit with them until they take up some other discourse. [For], indeed, you would then be like them. Indeed, Allah shall gather the hypocrites and the disbelievers in Hellfire, all together” [An-Nisa 4:140]

So, this is another grave sin added to the original one. You need to know that insistence on such grave sins causes faith to decrease gradually and may finally lead one to disbelief – may Allah protect us all of this evil end. 

Dear brother, you are strongly advise to repent sincerely to Allah and quit watching this filthy content. You need also to keep your time busy with useful activities, because leisure time is a big opportunity for the Satan to incite you for evil acts.

Attend congregational prayers, find religious friends, stay away from the internet as far as possible, try to memorize the Quran, practice fasting to break this appetite, try to serve your community through philanthropic activities, etc. These are just example of things that fill your time and keep you away from thinking about your appetite. Allah (exalted is He) said, “As to those who do not find [means] for marriage, let them keep themselves [pure and] chaste, until God enriches them from His bounty.” [An-Nur 24:33]

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said, “Whoever among you can afford to get married, let him do so, and whoever cannot afford it let him observe fasting, for it will be a restraint for him.” Pray to Allah to keep you chaste and to grant you a religious spouse.  

Allah knows best.