Q:

As-Salamu Alaykum,

I need to ask Islamic opinion for the girl and family on the situation stated below. Parents were planning to marry the girl and they engaged her with her cousin, the girl got married without the consent of parents and left home without letting anyone know, Parents brought her back the got her divorced. The girl was married latter to the cousin and had children. After many years now the girl want to leave her husband and and marry the first guy again, however her husband doesn’t want to give her divorce. What parents and family is expected to do in the light of Islam. 

A:

Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the Mercy-Giving.

All praise is due to Allah. Peace and blessings be upon his Prophet Muhammad.

This case is a real tragedy. The family mistreated the problem and made it worse. On the one hand, the girl’s first marriage was invalid since her wali (guardian, (father in this case),) was absent when the marriage contract was concluded and did not even approve it later on. 

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “A woman who marries without her wali’ s permission her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” (Al-Tirmidhi)

On the other hand, parents may not force a girl to marry without her consent. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said, “A previously married woman may not be married until she is consulted and a virgin woman may not be married until her permission is sought.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim) In fact, the validity of a marriage concluded without the woman’s consent is a controversial issue. 

The issue at hand is quite sensitive and needs to be handled wisely.  Either family manages to convince the wife to continue her marital life willingly or she has the right to end it. It is the family’s responsibility to bear the consequences of their wrong approach to the problem. Regarding the other man she wants to marry, if the family has no solid reasons to reject him, they should allow them to get married with their approval.

Finally, all parts are advised to fear Allah, be conscious of His watchfulness and seek His pleasure, not the fulfilment of their own desires. 

Almighty Allah knows best.