Dear Brothers/Sisters,

Thank you very much for joining us in this Fatwa session. We would also like to thank our guest, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, for answering the questions directed to him. You will find the answers to your questions below. The remaining answer will be posted later.

Q:

Are you allowed to be friends with Qadianis/Ahmadis?

A:

If your question is whether you are allowed to take them as your friends and protectors, that is not advisable as they may influence you, and thus you may lose your faith.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “A person follows the faith of his (bosom) friend; so let everyone see whom he takes as their bosom friends.”

The Quran reminds us that friends become enemies on the Day of Resurrection except those who are mindful of Allah.”

Qadiyanis believe that Mirza Ghulam of Qadiyan is a prophet, a belief that contradicts the Islamic Shahadah. According to the shahadah, every Muslim subscribes to Prophet  Muhammad as the seal of prophets and messengers, and there is no other prophet to succeed him.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) warned us that several false prophets claiming to be Prophet would arise. So, we should distance ourselves from such false prophets and their followers.

Having regular business-like contact with them while trying to guard yourself against their false doctrines and practices is permissible. The Prophet did have connections and interactions with even his enemies.

Before closing, let us always pray unceasingly to Allah to keep our hearts steadfast on the straight path and save us from doctrines and ideas contrary to the true faith.

Here is a Du’a we should read often:

Allaaahumma yaa muqalliba al-quloob thabbith quloobana alaa al-haqq

(O Allah, You are the twister and turner of hearts, make our hearts steadfast on the truth.)

Almighty Allah knows best.

Q:

Assalamu Alaikkum, I am a father of 3 children and married man since 2002 .I made a promise in the holy mosque to another muslim woman during 2018 , that in the name of god, I am marrying her as my second wife. During 2020, when the issue came to light, my 1s wife refused to accept me unless I leave my 2nd wife, to whom I made a promise. Due to family pressure I separated from her, but provided all necessary financial aid to carry on with her life. After that I lived with my 1st wife and children together for some months. However life didn’t go peacefully and my 1st wife took vengeance on me . Now she too is refusing to live with me. Is it a punishment from Allah for breaking my promise that I made in holy mosque. Is there any remedy to the wrong doing I have made. Please advice.

A:

Wa `alaykum –as-Salam

If I understand you correctly, I assume that you came from a culture or milieu where monogamy is practiced. So, you married your wife on the tacit understanding that she would be your only wife; if she had any doubts about you taking a second wife, she would not have married you.

Therefore, if you go and take another wife without her permission, you violate the terms of your marriage contract. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said that Muslims ought to honor their contracts; he also stressed that terms of marriage contracts must be given precedence over all other contracts.

In light of these, you were wrong to make such a promise; you committed even a double sin by doing it in the sacred mosque.

So, you went behind your wife’s back, who trusted you, and made such a deal with another woman without her knowledge or consent. That amounts to a betrayal of trust.

So, I urge you to ask forgiveness from Allah and repair your relations with your wife. You can only

marry a second wife only if she permits you.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Q:

I have two proposals currently one of an outsider who stays 15 hours away from my city and the other is of my close relative who lives in the Sam city as I’m.

I’m really confused even after perform ishtekhara which option is better for me. Both the proposals have their own advantages and disadvantages how should I choose now . Could you please help me what I need to do which is the better option for me. The outsiders option looks good in terms of small family , job but looks little scary as he is a total stranger and I need to stay far away from my mother. The relatives proposal looks advantageous has I know him and I can stay close to my mother but about his job and family I find it be disadvantageous . Please help me in this.

A:

You need to list the pros and cons of each proposal. However, if I were you, I would prefer to stick with my country to stay close to my mother. That should be a priority as long as your relative can afford to support you.

Istikhara does not mean that you will get inspiration. Instead, it means that you choose one of the options as long as it is not something undesirable or forbidden in the sight of Allah.

Being close to your mother should be a decisive factor to consider while arriving at a final decision.

I would advise you to pray to Allah to ask Allah to guide you to choose rightly. You may say:

Allaahumma dabbir lee fa innee laa uhsinu al-tadbeer; wa khir lee wa ikhtar lee fa inee laa uhsinu al-ikhtiyaar

(O Allah, plan for me, for I do not know how to plan for myself, and choose for me as I do not know how to choose.)

Almighty Allah knows best.

Q:

Asalam alaikum
Hello everyone. please help me out
I have two questions.
1:Is it shirk if I escort a person without them telling me they are gona do shirk and after, I get to know about it when we are there.
2:Is a person forgiven by Allah for shirk if they repent sincerely but they dont renew their Islam through Shahadah ?Please help me out

A:

Shirk is the deadliest of sins in Islam; it is unforgivable. Allah says, “God does not forgive association with Him, but He forgives anything less than that to whomever He wills. Whoever associates anything with God has devised a monstrous sin.” (An-Nisa’ 4:48)

And,

“God will not forgive that partners be associated with Him; but will forgive anything less than that, to whomever He wills. Anyone who ascribes partners to God has strayed into far error.” (An-Nisa 4: 116)

However, since you didn’t know of this before getting there, you need not be overly concerned as Allah is Forgiving; therefore, I urge you to seek repentance and beg His mercy: Once you do that, you can hope to be forgiven. Consequently, it behooves you never to allow yourself to be dragged into such situations.

If a person has deliberately committed Shirk, he should renew his shahada; mere repentance will not be sufficient.

Any form of Shirk, major or minor, hidden or open, is a grave offense. Therefore, the Prophet (peace be upon him) has warned us against it. It is reported that he once addressed the companions by saying:

“O People, guard against Shirk, for it can be more subtle than (black) ants creeping (on a black surface). On hearing his words, someone asked him, “If Shirk is so subtle, how can we guard against it, O Messenger of Allah? And the Prophet replied, “You should pray:

O Allah, we ask You to guard us against associating anything with you knowingly, and we ask forgiveness of You from doing it unknowingly.”

Almighty Allah knows best.

Q:

Normally i get a lot of vaginal discharge which is very common among females.
but i get a lot of sexual thoughts, and whenever i get such thoughts. i distract myself, sometimes ut just gets very difficult to distract myself. Most of the time it is during the time when i offer namaz, many of the times when it gets very difficult, i leave the namaz in between and clean myself. since 2020,i am suffering from waswasah, which is ruining my life, but yesterday ehile praying 6-7 times sexual thoughts came and there were some madhiy also, but as i was able to distract myself, and i didn’t cleaned myself and went on praying, and my dress was already wet because i had taken a bath, but after that i changes my underwear after my namaz and i didn’t change the dress, buy after that am constantly thinking thag wherever i have sat or slept on the bed, it has become impure, since 2020,i find it veey difficult ti maintain taharah. this kind of thing has been mistakenly done many a times in the past 2 years becuze of this waswas. simce it has been done by mistake many a times in the past, since that time i think that i have made the whole house impure. i have repented to allah in the past because i though that i have made the whole house impure, and it is not possible to pure the bed , and everywhere i have sat and slept, but again the previous night this happened. please help me
please reply me ASAP.

I didn’t know that even if I distract myself and sexual thoughts leads to emission of madhiy, I need to. Cleanse myself no matter what.
I thought that it doesn’t bother the wudu if someone is able to divert his mind even if he gets some discharge.
So I just ignored that and keep doing everything
So have I made the bed and wherever I have slept and sit impure? As I was already wet with the dress because of the bath also maybe some madhiyy got into my wet clothes and transfered everywhere.

A:

I think I have answered your question in my previous session.

You seem to be suffering from waswas (due to whisperings of Satan); you ought to dismiss them. Allah says:

“When a temptation from the Devil provokes you, seek refuge in Allah; He is the Hearer, the Knower.” (Fussilat 41: 36)

And Allah tells His Messenger:

“And say, ‘My Lord, I seek refuge with You from the whisperings of the devils And I seek refuge with You, my Lord, lest they become present.'” (Al-Muminun 23: 97-98)

So, I urge you to follow these tips:

1. Once you are sure you experience and feel the wetness due to excitement, you should wash your private parts and the clothes touched by it and offer your prayer; if you think anything afterward while you are in Prayer, you should dismiss such thoughts.
2. You ought to dispel such thoughts by engaging in works that would demand your single-minded attention;
3. Engage in dhikr and recitation of the Quran regularly;
4. Guard your mind, ears and eyes, and private parts by seeking refuge in Allah:

O Allah, save me from the perils of my ears, eyes, tongue, and private parts.”

1. Try to dismiss such doubts by seeking refuge in Allah.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Q:

My father molested me several times as a teen. He stopped after I told my mom, but no one checked on my mental health. I lived in fear that it will happen again for many years. I moved out of their house last year and have since gone low contact with him. When we do meet I am polite but I don’t initiate conversations and I never touch him. I still have flashbacks, nightmares and panic attacks, and my body freezes when he comes near me. I am now in therapy to try and heal. My family keeps pressuring me to get closer to him stating that im going against “silat al rahem” and “bir al waledein” by keeping my distance. I mentally & physically cant do more than responding to him and being polite.
My question is, can I go no contact, or at least keep our relationship at the level of me being polite without initiating contact?

A:

I genuinely empathize with your situation and pray to Allah to save every male and female from such predatory molesters, parents, relatives, or others.

I urge you to get professional therapy and counseling, strengthen the same through dhikr and Du’as, and always turn to Allah for strength and protection.

Now coming straight to the issue, you should keep yourself away from your father. Instead of fulfilling his duty as a father to protect you, he became a monster who victimized you; hence, he neglected his responsibility and subjected you to the most heinous sins and crimes. So, his offense is indeed the gravest; he is the one who is guilty of the most egregious offense; by doing so, he has trampled all moral norms and values.

So, you owe it to yourself to keep away from this monster even though he is your biological father.

Those who advise you against it are wrong as they are more concerned about protecting him than protecting you from him and giving you the moral support to overcome the traumatic experience he subjected you.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Q:

My husband and I are getting divorced lawfully is the nikah still valid or it automatically falls off along with the divorce

A:

There are no two laws in Islam: One for the society and another for the individuals. So, there is no reason to distinguish between legal and Islamic divorce, and hence if you have been divorced legally, you are divorced Islamically as long you did so of your own free will.

You can, however, get a qualified imam to endorse the legal divorce for your satisfaction.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Q:

Assalamu Alaikum, I hope this finds you well. I have been addicted to pornography and masturbation since the age of 14 (i am now 24), i have tried everything i could to stop this but i am really weak and always failed. I can only stop for few days and then do it again. I been trying to get married for a very long time to save myself from sins, but my dad never allowed me saying i am young, need to finish university and find a job.

My health and imaan are both deteriorating, i have become so weak to the extend that i do not wanna live anymore – i been trying for years and years i have no sabr left in me. Although i will endure this pain in this world, but what will i do in the hereafter, when i enter my grave. I am really worried about my akhirah, because this dunya is temporary but hereafter is not.

I have now graduated from university and want to get married to this girl i really like, there is nothing wrong with her or her family, the only difference is they speak a different language but we are from the same country. He is refusing to see the family saying they are not good people etc.. without having met them and knowing about them. I know them for 3 years, they are really good people, but my dad is just making excuses.

I just want to curse my dad sometimes, he is not acting like a father, he is acting like an enemy to me, my health is all gone and my imaan is weak and he is making things worse for me. He is so cultured to the extend he said culture first then deen. someone who says this will not care about what Allah and his messenger says.

my questions are:

1) Will Allah forgive me and have mercy on me when I die without having stopped these sins? because I have tried everything and constantly failed, marriage is the only thing left and i know by the will of Allah it will help me lot but my dad has been stopping me for years till now, i am really hurt as i really want to be closer to Allah but I cant.

2) What should I do in regards to marriage? My dad knows what islam says – its my right to chose my spouse, he has no right to stop me or force me to marry someone.

He thinks he’s doing me good, but he is ruining me, i been struggling in silence for years, I cannot go to people and tell them I am addicted to pornography and masturbation.

My poor mother is helpless too, she cant do a lot, he does’t listen to anyone but himself. Shaykh I am really struggling wallahi only Allah sees me i am soo lost, tired, I dont know what to do anymore.

jazakallah khair for your time

A:

Wa `alaykum as-salam

You need to take immediate steps to break free of this addiction. For details, let me cite here one of my earlier answers:

“Since you have been addicted to an extremely pernicious habit that destroys your spiritual soul and thus leading to self-destruction, you must urgently summon your will power and take all the necessary steps that you can muster in order to wean yourself of it immediately.

In order to empower yourself to achieve this, you should seek beneficial counselling and therapy preferably from those professionals in the field who are conscientious Muslims; if such Muslim professionals are not available from those who are ethically and morally conscious. It is important for you to wean yourself of these pernicious habits; the consequences of persisting in them are simply unthinkable; they would undoubtedly corrode your spiritual soul and cause your spiritual death.

Sins by their very nature are addictive, for it is in the very nature of carnal soul to seek pleasure in sins. As Busiri has rightly said, “Carnal soul is a like a baby; if you neglect him, he will grow up clinging on to the breast-milk for ever, but if you wean him off, he will be weaned off.” I suggest a few tips which you can use to empower yourself:

1) Visualize and meditate on the ugliness of this heinous sin and conjure up images of hell fire as painted in the Qur’an and the Sunnah as many times as possible until such time that whenever you are tempted to visit such sites or view such scenes will be constantly playing in the screen of your mind; thus even as you have associated this addiction with pleasure you will come to associate it with pure pain and suffering.

2) Convince yourself—by taking all measures such as listing all the negative things about such habits, and listing the verses and traditions about the gravity of sins—of the urgency of removing this malignant cancer from your life; remember it is far more serious than cancer attacking your body since your soul survives you even after your physical body has disintegrated in the earth.

3) Imagine how terrible a loss you will be facing were you to die while being addicted to this most heinous sin?

4) Seek strength from Allah by crying to Him for succour; but you can never seek the help of Allah unless you seek to establish connection with Him through regular Prayers; so never be slack in Your Prayers.

5) Schedule your time in such a way that you are never left with any time to think of such matters; Imam Shafi said: “If you don’t occupy your mind with good works, your carnal soul will make you busy in bad deeds!”

6) Surround yourself with spiritual and Islamic influences and virtually immerse yourself in them.

7) Always hang around with good Muslims who are busy doing good works; join a halaqah where spiritual training is imparted together with study of Islam

8) Make your mind and tongue busy with dhikr Allah; say the following words and others frequently:

Subhaana Allaah; al-hamdu li Allah; laa ilaaha illa Allaah, Allaahu akbar;
wa laa hawla walaa quwwata illaa bi Allaah; astaghfir Allaaha al-azeem min kulli dhanbin wa atoobu ilaahi
(Glory be to Allah; praise be to Allah; there is no god but Allah, Allah is Great; there is no power or strength except by the will of Allah; I ask forgiveness of Allah from all my sins and repent to Him.)

9) Once you have been weaned of these pernicious habits, you should seriously consider marriage; marriage is the protection against temptations.

I pray that the Beneficent Lord of Mercy save us all from the evil inclinations of our souls and make us hate disbelief, transgressions and sins; and may He endear to our hearts faith and good works-aameen.

Now coming to the second part of your question on marriage, let me state the following:

1. You have the right to marry the person you want to guard yourself against sexual transgressions to remain chaste. Islam considers marriage obligatory in the case of those who are unable to control their desires. So, since your duty to protect yourself takes precedence over your responsibility to please your father on this issue as long as he does not have any valid Islamic reason to object to your marriage.
2. Once you have found a suitable marriage partner, you can get married even if your father does not permit you. However, you should try your best to convince him and tell him that you need to protect yourself from falling into sins.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “If a person of acceptable religion and character presents himself for marriage, marry him; otherwise, there would be widespread sedition and rampant corruption in the land.”

 It is clear from the above tradition that compatibility entails a person’s worth in a spiritual and moral sense: the only primary criterion that makes or breaks a marriage.

 Therefore, if you found such a person to marry, your father should not refuse to permit you to marry her. So, you are allowed to marry her even if he objects to it. However, if you do so, you are still not allowed to cut off relations with him; instead, you should do your best to reconcile with him.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Q:

Can I put in the marriage contract that I do not want him marrying more than one woman

What are some main things that I should focus on when making the marriage contract

A:

Marrying a second wife is not a religious obligation in Islam; only an exception is allowed in exceptional cases. Therefore, you are permitted to insist on putting a clause in your marriage contract that your husband will not take another wife while you are married.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Q:

I am 27 years old muslim man , Alhamdulillah Allah has saved me from zina , now i want to get married as i have strong desires , but i want a girl who has also abstained from haram acts as i can’t wrap my head around being with someone who hasn’t been chaste like me , it creates pictures in my mind whenever i think of it , but i also can’t ask someone about their past as it is prohibited , what should i do ?i am really worried about this .Sorry for sounding insecure , i don’t judge anyone about their past , but this really bothers me. Especially when i try to seek a more educated women in bigger cities i fear it more , with zina being so widespread now a days , i don’t know how i get over this insecurity.It’s not about being a virgin really , it’s just that it creates some pictures that how the other person has lived her life ? If she did zina , did she repented? I am really anxious please help me.

A:

You should thank Allah that He saved you from falling into temptations and was able to keep yourself chaste. So, you have a right to seek a marriage partner who is chaste and pure.

However, it is one thing to wish so, and it is another to suspect others and cast doubts about their innocence based on such vain thoughts.

Islam teaches us to think good of others. Therefore, we have no right to question the integrity of another person unless we have clear evidence to support it.

I urge you to see a counselor who should help you get rid of these unwarranted suspicions.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Q:

AsSaalaam Alaikum.
My family and I (my parents, my younger sister and me) have been going through too many difficulties in the last 10 years, and bcus of that we all have become angry, bitter people. We all are practising Muslims, pray 5 times and have literally no close family and friends- so we don’t trouble other people also. My parents’ fights aren’t stopping- my father doesnt accept his mistakes. My sister and I have also done our fair share of problems- but whenever my sister or my problems start, my father runs away or makes my mother more angry by using the situation to his own advantage.

We don’t have anyone to help us. Divorce is not something we want, but I dont know how to get my mother awaay from this hell. But in between all this, she and I also have our own fights- and that becomes loud and ugly nowadays. I have also becoem an angry loud person now- whereas I was not like this at all. I am 28 and my sister 26, and nothing is working out in terms of us getting married also. And my father doesnt provide emotional support to my mother, so she either keeps complaining about him to us or takes out her anger on my sister and me.

I am tired of handling my parents’ fights and their ugly words during those fights, i am tired of being the intermediary for my mother, I am tired of my words not being heard and when I come to them with my problem or my POV, they make it about themselves. I am trying my best to change my faults, I am not saying I am not to blame for some of these fights also- but what do I do when I don’t feel safe with my own parents? At the end it is always about them. They haven;t fixed their own fights- how will they have the space to listen my sister and my problems? How will they have space to have healthy disagreements with my sister and me when every single day it is an ego argument for them to survive each other? I cannot run away or kill myself also- but I am losing faith in ALlah. I have no single human to turn to even if i pray to Allah- I have no emotional support or safety, only emotional damage and being blamed for everything. What do I do- what should I tell my family to do? I am out of answers- I seriously feel like ending it all, but only not doing for Allah.

A:

Wa `alaykum as-salam

I would advise you to refer to a counselor or therapist. A few appear on this site. Please get in touch with the editor, who may be able to give you their contacts.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Q:

Assalamualaikum sheikh. There’s a revert Guy who’s my colleague. He accepted Islam many years back by studying Islam. A few months back he sent a marriage proposal to me. I told my parents about this but they didn’t accept his proposal without any valid reason. He has got no one to support him on this path and for the sake of Allah alone and my better akhirah, I want to get married to him. We both are willing for this but making my parents accept him will take some time. so can we get married in secret to prevent ourselves from indulging in a haraam relationship because wallahi there’s a very high probability of being indulged into such stuff.

A:

Wa `alaykum as-salam

I assume you are a mature adult and independent. If that is the case, you may get married for your protection. First, however, I would urge you to convince your father how important it is for you to get married to save yourself from falling into sins.

If he is not willing to give you consent, you may get married regardless of his objections.

For further details, you may refer to the answer posted here:

Marriage without parents permission | About Islam

Almighty Allah knows best.

Q:

Assalamoalikum,
My question is that, is it permissible to work as a software developer for a company that provide health insurance and benifits?

A:

Wa `Alaykum as-salam

Health insurance and benefits are acceptable; they are indispensable to living in modern societies. Therefore, it can be deemed as permissible based on the principle of permission because of unavoidable necessity.

So, you may work to work as a software developer. However, I would advise you to do your best to purify your income of any taints of haram associated with such work by making Istighfaar and offering extra charities.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Q:

Assamoalikum,
My question is that if a woman’s husband refuse to give divorce to her wife on her demand and then she goes to court for this reason, so if a court issues her divorce certificate, so is it nullify the nikkah? and is she allowed to marry another man?

A:

Wa `Alaykum as-salam

Suppose you have valid reasons to seek divorce (from your husband) as he is abusing you, or you cannot be married to him for the right reasons, such as no sexual satisfaction or evil character. In that case, you are allowed to get a legal divorce even if he refuses to give you a divorce.

Once you get your legal divorce, an Imam can endorse it as an Islamic divorce.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Q:

There’s a hadith that I came across in Saheeh Muslim which states that every person has an amount of zina that he will commit. That Hadith mentions adultery of the eyes, ears, tongue, hand and feet. The last part is Zina of the heart. That parts is “The heart desires and hopes (for adultery) but the private parts either confirm that or deny it.”
My question is, does this mean that all sexual and romantic fantasies count as Zina of the heart then, such as those which lead to arousal of the private parts? Also if you could elaborate any further than that would be helpful.

A:

I have answered this question in my previous session. Please refer to it.

Q:

Is my wudu invalid if i bite my lip and it bleeds?

A:

Your wudu is still valid despite the bleeding lips. There is no evidence to support the view that such bleeding affects the validity of one’s wudu.

Bleeding from the private parts is an exception, in which case, the consensus is that it renders the wudu invalid.

Some scholars, however, are of the view that bleeding profusely would break the wudu. In case, it is best to renew the wudu. However, that does not apply to the issue you mentioned.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Q:

Is it halal to sell medicines for males private part enlargement or female breast enlargement or any products related to sex timing any medicine related to these problems is this halal or haram in Islam plzzz guide me

A:

One is allowed to buy or sell medicines that professionals prescribe for treating conditions that prevent regular sexual enjoyment. However, one should avoid medications that alter or interfere with God’s creation. Interfering with nature will have serious consequences. Therefore, it is

best to consult three specialists when considering the use or sale of such medicines.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Q:

Assalamu alaikum,

Is is necessary for a woman to cover her hands when she wears Henna designs on her hands. Is that a part of the awrah or not. This is because many scholars say that henna is an adornment and must be hidden under a gloves when dealing with non-mahrams. What’s your take on this?

Looking forward to hearing from you sooner than later.

A:

Wa `alaykum as-salam

Some scholars consider hands exempt from the Zinah of women to be covered, while others say they ought to be covered.

Ibn Jarir and others adhere to the former view, while others adhere to the latter. We read in a report that one of the companions, who visited Abu Bakr, the pious caliph, while he was on his death bed, saw the hands of his wife with henna. The report shows that they did not consider that one should keep the hands with henna covered. The Prophet’s companions should know better than others.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Q:

Asalamu alaykum,

I am the daughter of reverts and therefore was born into Islam. Regretfully during my late teens/early 20’s I had a total crisis of faith and renounced religion. During this time I conceived a child with a non practising Muslim man. We never discussed nikkah as both of us where not practising. Our families are western and fairly liberal hence though they would have much preferred us to marry no pressure was exerted. We separated when the child was a few months old due to many infidelities and flaws on his behalf.
Following this I began to rediscover Islam, over the past few years I began re-engaging with religion, I actually took shahada to truly make my intentions clear. Alhamdulilah I feel solid in my faith these days and every day I live with the guilt of my Muslim child being illegitimate. Her father is problematic and there is no way back for our relationship. I have now met a good Muslim man who knows my history and is ideal in all ways. We are conducting ourselves in a halal way and intend to marry. The only barrier is that he expects his parents to react badly if they find out my child was not born within a prior marriage. Islamically does this prevent him from marrying me? Would their disapproval have any Islamic basis? Is he compelled to share this intimate information with them should they demand an answer?

Jazakallah khair

A:

Wa `alaykum as-salam

If both of you have repented and are leading a clean life now, no one can blame you for your past life.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “One who has repented from a sin is like someone who didn’t sin.”

While good life after repentance:

We read in the Qur’an:

“And who call not upon another god along with God, and slay not the soul that God has made inviolable, save by right, and who fornicate not—for whosoever does that shall meet requital

And the punishment shall be multiplied for him on the Day of Resurrection. He shall abide therein, humiliated save for those who repent and believe and perform righteous deeds. God will replace their evil deeds with good deeds for them, and God is Forgiving, Merciful.” (Al-Furqan 25: 68-70)

Based on this, no one can use your past against you. So, the fact that you have a child out of wedlock should not prevent you from marrying the man if he has chosen to do so.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Q:

i have been experiencing unwanted shirk thoughts for anything that i’m trying to do, for example, i want to look in the mirror because i feel good about how i look, and these thoughts attack me, sometimes before the action, sometimes during the action, or sometimes even after.
i have read that such thoughts in a believer’s heart and mind are not counted as sin as long as we do not speak about them or act on them.
Now do you think i’m committing shirk if i’m doing an act as mentioned before, and i’m constantly having these thoughts in my mind.
it’s really hard because i cannot even spend time with my family members, because these thoughts come to me.
also i want to go to a therapist, but these thoughts come to me saying “how can you compare ALLAH ‘s knowledge by going to a therapist, he/she doesn’t have knowledge, you’re gonna committ shirk if you go”
now if i’m gonna go to a therapist with that thought, i feel like I’m acting on that thought.

A:

You ought to dismiss such thoughts as they are due to whisperings of the devils. For further details on how to deal with them, I cannot do any better than citing here one of my earlier answers:

“Such thoughts that you experience could very well be whisperings of Satan in order to tempt you away from your prayer. Whenever such thoughts occur to you, you must turn your attention immediately away from them by seeking refuge in Allah (i.e. by saying: a’udhu billaahi mina al-shaytaani al-rrajeem; I seek refuge and protection in Allah from Satan, the accursed). The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “Allah has forgiven my Ummah of the whisperings of their souls so long as they do not talk about it, or act accordingly.”

To explain this further: Our thoughts can be divided into different categories: 1) the constant self-talk or idle thoughts that assail our minds on which we have no control.

2) Thoughts that we dwell on; 3) Intentions that we formulate based on those thoughts. We are not accountable for the first stage, namely the self-talk unless we dwell on them and nurture them in our minds since we have no control over them. We are accountable if we dwell on them as well as for the deliberate intentions that we formulate based on these thoughts.

Having said this, it is also crucial for us to consider the treacherous nature of our hearts (more precisely our carnal souls) and must exercise vigilance against them. The Prophet, peace be upon him, taught us that “Hearts are ever changing”. The word qalb in Arabic means twisting and turning. So we must take care to dismiss and reject bad thoughts that assail our hearts/minds by ever turning to Allah for refuge and protection. We must also recognize that ultimately we have no power to master these evil inclinations except through the help of Allah. The remedy and cure therefore lies in consistency in Dhikr (remembrance of Allah) and Istighfaar (seeking refuge in Allah).

The Prophet, peace be upon him, has taught us the following Du’as (supplications) to master the evil inclinations of our souls, and, accordingly, these must form part of the daily spiritual regimen of every believer:

Allaahumma yaa muqalliba al-quloob thabbit qalbee alaa deenika

(O Allah, O You who are the twister of hearts, so make Thou my heart firm and steadfast on Your religion).

Rabbi a’oodhu bika min hamazaati al-shayaateen.

(My Lord, I seek Your refuge and protection against the whisperings of devils).

Finally, read the Sayyid al-istighfaar (master supplication) in the morning as well as before retiring to bed:

Allaahmma anta rabbee laa ilaaha illaa anta khalaqtanee wa ana abduka wa ana alaa ahdika wa wa’dika ma istata’tu a’oodhu bika min sharri maa sana’tu abu’o laka bi ni’matika alayya wa ab’ou bi dhanbee fa ighfir lee fa innahu laa yaghfru al-dhunooba illaa anta.

(O Allah, You are my Lord; there is no god but You. You have created me, and I am Your servant; I stand firm on my covenant with You according to the best of my ability; I seek refuge in You from the evils of my own actions. I acknowledge Your favors upon me; I confess my sins to You; so forgive me, for no one has power to forgive sins except You.)

Finally, examine yourself, and see if you have been guilty of any major sins; if you have been, make sincere repentance to Allah from all of them without delay.

Almighty Allah knows best.

Q:

Please I need more information about POS business. Thanks 

A:

I do not understand the precise intent or purport of this question. So I cannot answer it.

Almighty Allah knows best.