Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Thank you for participating in the session.

Please find the 4 questions to which our counselor provided answers. If you do not find yours here, check out our upcoming session or submit it there again.

Question 1. Shirk?

As-salamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

I have a question regarding intention behind good deeds. Scholars say that if one does an act of worship for the sake of people he is commiting shirk and if he refrains from doing them it is also shirk. I wanted to know if i do a good deed so that someone will be happy as my intention is that shirk? Is giving food to someone who is hungry so that they might be satisfied and happy without doing it to please Allah is this shirk? Also, what if someone refrains from doing something obligatory due to shyness and being overwhelmed? Eg refraining from enjoining good and forbidding evil as I am shy or start becoming anxious would this constitute shirk?

Salam alaikom wa rahmatullah,

I am answering this question as a counselor, not as a scholar. Doing good deeds for the sake of Allah is the best thing to do. Beside it, you can have other intentions too, for example, helping the hungry, etc. That is alright and is not shirk. Minor shirk is showing off, when you help someone with the intention of elevating your own status in the eyes of others or wanting to make a better impression on others than Allah.

On the other hand, it is the trap of Satan, making you abandon good deeds in the fear of showing off.

You can read more about here:

Can a Muslim Abandon Good Deeds to Avoid Showing Off?

The Other Side of Riya (Showing off)

Avoid These 5 Forms of Showing Off

I hope this helps. For more, please write to our scholar for more: https://aboutislam.net/ask-the-scholar/

 May Allah make it easy for you.

Question 2. POLYGAMY

My husband has been having an affair for the past few years with a Christian married woman. Now he wants her to convert to Islam so he can marry her and she be the second wife. He does not pay anything financially here with me. How can he take on another wife and haven’t paid any bills while we have been together 17 yrs. Does this mean he can’t marry her being that he can’t take care of me?

Salam alaikom wa rahmatullah,

Thank you for contacting us. I am answering this as a counselor, not as a scholar. For scholarly opinion, please write here for more: https://aboutislam.net/ask-the-scholar/

If he is financially unable to maintain you and another wife at the same time, technically speaking, he cannot marry someone else. It is his duty as a husband to maintain his wives, and in the case of a second marriage, to do that equally. And this equal treatment is also applying to the emotional relationship, so he has to be able to spend time with you and treat both of you equally. 

Read more here: Does Islam Encourage Polygamy?

 Therefore, it would be important to do it to see what is happening in your marriage and whether there is anything to fix between both of you. A second marriage should not be an “escape” to deal with the problems of the first marriage, and he will still be obliged to maintain a good relationship with you and fulfill your rights. This is only possible if things go well between both of you.

You say that he is having an affair with someone else outside of your marriage, which is a great sin in the sight of Allah.

How does this make you feel? How is your relationship with him? Do you have a good one, and if not, what are the problems?

I kindly ask you to think about it and also talk about how you would like to fix the possible problems between each other’s. You may involve a third person or go to marriage counseling to resolve possible conflicts and improve your relationship.

May Allah make it easy for you.

Question 3. OCD

I used to have OCD when I started practicing Islam but alhamdullilah, it left. So later, I was doing things a Muslim shouldn’t be doing so I made repentance to Allah and changed my ways, since then I have been having wiswas and it has been heavy. I believe it was from Shaytan because when I was transgressing why didn’t I have wiswas but it is hard to ignore.

It really hard 😪 it now affecting my daily activities I can’t close the door of the store I work without difficulties

It so severe to the extent that I can’t read surah Fatiha I repeat some ayat over again to the point I started learn how to say teslem because I had thought if I use to say it correctly or not like it not easy. 

Salam alaikom wa rahmatullah,

Thank you for contacting us.

Since you have made repentance, your OCD is back, and you feel that it is getting more severe as you have difficulties with your day-to-day life.

Waswasa, or whisperings of Satan, are usually related to religious duties or worship. It can be either doubts or obsessions about making things right or delaying our worship by disrupting our thoughts, for example. Waswasa al Qadri is a religious scrupulosity.  This is a form of OCD, which means an “obsessive and compulsive disorder involving religious or moral obsessions.”

The Arabic term for this condition is “waswâs al-qahri”, “overwhelming whispers.” It is different from the common “waswasa”-whispers that most Muslims experience to an extent. But while waswasa diminishes with religious and spiritual practices, “waswâs al-qahri” is a mental disorder and needs treatment.

You also mention another example, namely closing the door of the store where you work, which has little to do with worship and religion.

This might indicate a mental health condition, and it necessitates further evaluation and diagnosis.

So, I kindly advise you to seek professional help and ask for an assessment. OCD can be successfully treated with medication and therapy combined, and it can make a big difference in your life if you can manage to control these obsessive thoughts.

At the same time, what you can do to let go of your guilt is to accept that we are not perfect. Only Allah is the Creator, but we, as creations, do make mistakes and sin.

Mistakes can even benefit us. How? We learn from them by example, and we can grow. Also, if we sin and realize it, then sinfully repent and abandon it, we demonstrate to Allah that we are ready to give up something for His sake, and we choose Him and His path. This in and of itself can bring us closer to Him and strengthen our faith.

So, just trust in Allah and in His infinite mercy when you worship him. When you read the Quran and when you pray. When you are not 100% sure, with evidence that you made a mistake in the recitation of the Fatiha, you have to assume that is alright. Remember, only certainty uplifts doubt. Trust in your abilities and that He will accept your worship as He sees your struggle.

Even you can be sure that according to the hadith, you are guaranteed the reward for your efforts and even multiplied:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Such a person as recites the Qur’an and masters it by heart, will be with the noble righteous scribes (in Heaven). And such a person exerts himself to learn the Qur’an by heart, and recites it with great difficulty, will have a double reward.” Sahih al-Bukhari 4937

So again, I emphasize the importance of seeking professional help if you struggle with your daily life. If you have difficulties taking the first step, ask for support from your family or friends to be with you and help you with that.

You will see, in sha Allah, that you get better and will be able to manage your anxiety with more confidence. May Allah make it easy for you.

Question 4 .Promoting a course

I am very tenced about one thing. Recently I bought a course about affiliate marketing. In that course they suggest students to copy and made same type of contents of good content makers and post them in Instagram with affliliate link. For these they also use music as background audio. Even teacher is not purposely promoting music he is just telling or showing students during his course that, follow other content creators so that students can easily can make good contents and get reach. As a Muslim I will not gonna use music for making such contents. At this point is it halal for me to promote this course as a product and get commission from it? Because, I am afraid that I may not follow the trend of using background music but If I promote maybe an unknown person may use music, as the teacher of that course is suggesting to use music in background. So far, I found everything fine about course but, just confused about this issue.

Salam alaikom wa rahmatullah,

Thank you for contacting us.

This is a fatwa (Islamic ruling) question. 

Here’s the link to our fatwa section (Ask the Scholar). Please feel free to submit your question and be confident to receive a satisfactory answer Inshaa’ Allah.

https://aboutislam.net/ask-the-scholar/

Question 5. Lost interest

Asalamualaikum.

I got engagement with a girl last month and Nikah sermony was also held. Our marriage is going to be held next year. I arranged a meet with my fiance last week.

After dating, I lost all my interest in her as if I feels that I deserve better than her so far as her physical appearance is concerned…

I have lost all interest in her. I’m in anxiety and stress and doesn’t know what to do.

Salam alaikom wa rahmatullah,

Thank you for contacting us.

The question is a bit confusing, as if you have had your nikkah ceremony, it means that you are married and not engaged. I am not sure whether you have consummated your marriage or not. But, after a nikkah, it is not an engagement but a marriage, Islamically speaking. Maybe you mean that the wedding will be held next year.

You do not detail what makes you feel like losing interest in her. You say that you deserve better as far as her physical appearance is concerned.

I am not really sure whether you have met before the nikkah or not. That is something very recommended, as the two people’s impression of each other can help a lot in the final decision. In one narration:

“I proposed marriage to a woman, and the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: ‘Have you seen her?’ I said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Look at her, because it is more fitting that love and compatibility be established between you.’” According to another report: “So he did that, and he married her and mentioned that they got along.” Ibn Maajah, 1/574

Attraction may not be a priority, but it is also important in marriage. That is why families should encourage the meeting of the future spouse and let them know about each other in a halal setting. Compatibility and interest in each other are necessary in the long run.

What can you do now?

You need to think about what this lack of interest in her means. Are you sure that you know her enough to state that you are not interested in her? What do you know now that you did not know before, the nikkah?

You may sit down and write a list of what you like about her and what you do not. Check the two lists. Check in the second column the things that can be improved or accepted if you take the right perspective. Sometimes we do not get what we want, but we do not know that what we got was actually better for us and closer to our needs.

Remember:

„You may dislike something although it is good for you, or like something although it is bad for you: God knows and you do not.”  (Quran 2:216)

The Prophet also advised:

“Let not a believing man hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.” (Muslim)

So try to focus on the positive things and those that connect you. See what you have in common and what you like about her.

Try to think about this situation as a test. What you can learn from it. The situation is given; how can you make the most of it?

You may consult it with a third person, either with a family member you trust or with someone righteous and knowledgeable in the community, for example, the imam.

And if you see your incompatibility as irreconcilable, you may talk to your family with sincerity and ask for their help and support in this matter.

May Allah make it easy for you.

Question 6. Riba

Assalam o Alaikum

I’m doing real estate in Dubai and my one deal is in process at the moment. I’m a broker here so the buyer is using mortgage. My job was to show him the property he likes it and then the bank valuation team contacted me and  I arranged a viewing of the apartment for them so they visited the apartment and valuated it to provide loan to the buyer so I just wanted to ask that I’m a middleman here connected with buyer/seller and I’m going to get the commission from the buyer as per Dubai real estate rule so the commission I’m getting for this will be halal for me or not as the buyer has taken a loan from the bank

Salam alaikom wa rahmatullah,

Thank you for contacting us.

I am a counselor, not a scholar, so I cannot advise on fatwa related questions. You can try to write to our scholar here.

I also share some answers from our sites to similar questions; maybe it will be beneficial for you.

Is Earning Commission from Buying and Selling Allowed?

This article says:

The idea of working on commission is permissible and the calculation of the compensation as a percentage of sale or per job is also permissible.

However, there are two questions that we need to ask to determine whether a specific work, and consequently its compensation, are permissible or not.

Conditions of taking commission in Islam:

Is the contract, transaction, or relationship facilitated by the broker is permitted or not? Of course, being a middleman in, for example, a liquor trade or in lending on interest is haram.

Does the facilitator undertake any prohibited act, such as writing an interest-based contract?

We may also need to look at the extent of the function of the middleman. It may be merely giving information to compare and contrast.

Please read the whole article for more. And here are some additional ones:

Is Working as Mortgage Underwriter Halal?

I hope this helps,

Question 7. Stressed about everything

Please read this again:

I engaged in inappropriate relationships with multiple individuals from a young age.

When I was 16 I had some mental issues or as a scholar he said it’s an evil spirit that has affected me. So I used to wear amulet and he told not to remove until I get married.

I had got many proposals during college Shortly after, I got engaged to my classmate who loved me. He asked my parents for my hand in marriage, and they agreed. But I wasn’t ready because I knew my past was troubled, and I didn’t feel deserving of such pure love.

In Ramadan I realised I’m sinning and I must remove my amulet. I destroyed the amulet.

Recently I discovered about my fiancés past.

When I confronted him, at first, he swore on Allah that nothing had happened. However, months later, I told him I would consider marrying him if he admitted the truth, which he did.

He pleaded with me, confessing his remorse. I questioned how he could betray my trust, especially since I considered him a good Muslim. He admitted that he had been committing serious sins secretly, and showed the society and his friends that he is good Muslim.

Despite being engaged for 7 years with our wedding only 1 months away this revelation has left me deeply troubled and conflicted.

Now that he’s confessed everything, he’s expressing his desire to marry me, claiming that he truly loves me and has prayed to Allah for this opportunity. He emphasizes his respect for me and urges me not to leave him for the sake of Allah, insisting that I give him one final chance.

Also, his parents never liked me. And they have started to spread rumours about me, that I’m not a good girl.

I’m afraid to regain trust in him. He repeatedly swore on Allah and the Quran that he hadn’t done anything wrong, but now he’s altered his statement by accepting his sins.

I have told my parents about this and they said that he repented and asked forgiveness so now it’s upto me.

You can decide what you want. But I’m not understanding what to do.

I did istikhara prayer and I saw a dream that my father was giving me some money.

I did again and again but didn’t see anything. Later after weeks I saw dream twice about getting regret of not forgiving him, and one more was I am marrying a old person. but I’m confused whether this dream is from Allah or shaytan.

His parents are against this marriage because I reacted to what he did I was rude to him. He said these things to his parents and they think I will never respect him and he will not have a good future with me, I might ask him to have separate house so they are worried that he would leave his parents and siblings. So they called off the wedding. He again contacted me and asked to me wait because he said he regretted telling to his parents about the things I told also he wants to marry me and he’ll convince his parents. I do trust him now not completely and I told him I can’t wait. I do love him and when I think of not having him in my life and about future my heart beats faster. I start crying continuously.

I told him my feelings and asked to do nikkah without his parents if they are not agreeing but now he says I’ve to wait until his parents gets convinced because he can’t do nikkah without them that will affect their health and will not have respect in society. I gave him a month time  and then he said if they don’t agree I’ll come do nikkah and he’ll  take me to his home. My parents says that his family will not respect me after all this but still if you love him you’ll have to go through tough situations in life. He said he doesn’t want to leave his parents and he wants me too.

Should I’ve to wait till his parents get’s convinced? Or if he comes alone without his parents I’ll marry him? My parents are saying to trust Allah and do what your heart says but I’m not understanding anything and I don’t want to let him go/ I do sometimes feel he’s manipulating me because he can’t decide properly. If he comes alone my father has to provide everything for us because he has to provide certain amount to his parents.

I’m scared for a new proposal because sometimes my parents,siblings, friends, and relatives calls me ugly, skinny and I don’t have certain weight in my body. I don’t look healthy and pleasing to a man I’ve a dark acne hairy skin. Honestly I don’t cook/clean my parents does everything for me. I always want to do everything but I don’t know what stops me I feel exhausted and tired. It’s been 2 years I’ve completed my studies and my father doesn’t like me working so, I’m just being home. I don’t go out. I’m so stressed and tired of what I’m doing. I’m lost completely whether am I worth.

Please help me

Salam alaikom, sister,

After reading your story again, I add these thoughts to my previous advice:

• Please seek counseling where you can unpack your past abuses and your trust issues about your own worth. This is crucial to seeing your relationships and your position with more clarity. Even if you have to make a decision soon, check out one or two sessions that will help you further.
• You wanted full honesty before marriage, so he revealed his sins with many details, which, understandably, is causing you more trust issues. Yes, marriage is built upon sincerity, but there is also wisdom in not revealing past sins that are irreversible as they happened, yet they can affect the present. You need to think very carefully about whether: 1. you will be able to trust in him or not after this; and 2. whether this person you want to join your life.
• According to your letter, he blames you for not being there to fulfill his desires before the marriage. This makes questionable his sense of responsibility for his own deeds, in my opinion, not to mention that you have done the right thing by wanting to wait until the marriage happens.
• If his parents don’t agree and there is delay in all processes, you may take it as a time out from Allah, when you just pause a little bit, put aside all these things, and think about what YOU want. Focus on yourself, not on what he says or wants.
• Know that if you give up something for the sake of Allah, He will replace it with something better. I am sure that you are beautiful and worthy of love. Counseling would help you to imprve your self-esteem and confidence.
• Attributing power to anything beside Allah (SWT) is shirk, so kindly repent and renew your testimony in faith if you think that you considered the amulet something like this.
• I cannot tell you what to do; it is you who have to come to the decision. Try to write down all your doubts, the pros and cons for and against this marriage. Seeing this on a list may help you with the decision. You may even rank them in importance. Also, keep a line for those things you would like to have and see whether this marriage could give you those things or not.

Regarding your dreams, what we know from the hadith, is that: “At the approach of the Hour, the Muslim will have a true vision, and honesty will help him to have the clearest and truest vision. Moreover, seeing a true vision is the 45th degree of prophethood. Vision is of three kinds: the good one with glad tidings from Allah; the bad dream, which is from Satan to invade hearts with sadness; the third one is the effect of an aforethought matter. So if any one of you sees something sad in a vision, he should offer two rak`ats in prayer and never reveal it to anyone.” (Al-Bukhari).

The latter ones are dreams about daily matters: persons, problems,situations, places, etc. that bother us, occupy our thoughts and emotions, or we just simply had an experience with them; therefore, they can appear in our unconsciousness.

I hope this helps,

May Allah help you with that.