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Ask the Counselor (Audio Q/A Session)

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Thank you for partcipating in the session.

Please find the 8 questions to which our counselor provided audio answers. If you do not find yours here, check out our upcoming session or submit it there again.

Question 1. My Husband Chats on Social Media

I have noticed that my husband chats with other women in social media appreciating those women looking good, gorgeous, beautiful and writing that he would love to travel with them.

It hurts me a lot. We are not living in same country and my husband was visiting me in July, left quite suddenly back his home country and after that I have noticed this kind of behavior in him.

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I am revert, and have been Muslim about 4 years, don’t know so much about my religion yet.


Question 2. Depression Affects My Marriage Search

I have been mentally very disturbed, negative n depressed. I want to come out of it. Have been on medications also. I am better than last year. But not come out completely. Search of marriage process has also disturbed me. I have started becoming hopeless and feel like I will not get good partner and proposal. I don’t like being stuck also. But at the same time with this mental health, I don’t know how I will get into marriage also. I don’t understand what to do. I want to come out if this state of mind. I read tasbeeh and few surah also. But not come out of it completely.


Question 3. Don’t Want Lost Hope to Be My Way

My question is that I am sinful and I know that after Allah guides a person, He will test them or if He loves some will be test. For me the day he is testing me and go through challenge I fail keep sinning and not lowering my gaze.  In my heart I do feel anything and my imaan is not strong and now give up and lost hope is my way. I don’t want that to happen, what should I do?


Question 4.  Parents Are Against My Marriage Plans


It’s been a long time I am going through with this situation and don’t know what to do.

There is a girl which I like for the sake of Allah almighty and wanted to do nikkah with her want to spend my time with her in halal way.

Unfortunately, when I talked with my family، they rejected her saying that she is out of our caste. Worst part is they didn’t even bother to see how she looks or how her family is. My family started talking on me that I am not a good person, even when I pray before Allah Almighty, they say in front of me that your prayers are not going to be answers and if I pray late or do any other tasbih they say you are doing Amal and it’s not going to happen we will not accept her.

Sometimes I feel very helpless I feel very sad when my own family say that your prayers your namaz and tasbih is just fake. They even say just go to her leave us.

But still, I make Dua for her every time believing on Allah Almighty that he will give me her with his mercy. Please tell me what to do I really want to marry her in halal way.


Question 5. How to Forgive Myself Without Feeling Fake? 

Assalamu alaykum. I still feel guilty and embarrassed about a shameful sin I used to repeatedly commit in private over several years. I didn’t know doing it at the time was haram, and when I realized it, I tried to cut it down. Eventually I stopped and I have not committed that sin in years, however I still feel shame and embarrassment. I still struggle to forgive myself. I cringe thinking about my past. Everyone views me as sweet and innocent, and whilst I am not, I also feel fake because of my past. How can I finally move on without feeling guilty and fake to those around me? Thank you for your help and advice.


Question 6. How Do I Move On, If He Is No Longer a Part of My Life?

Assalamu alaikum :). The title is pretty self-explanatory, I had a Muslim guy friend and we met in Islamic studies class. We used to meet in Iftaar parties, Ramadan and Eid bazaars where everyone put up their stalls, Muslim community events and so on. We became close friends over the years and then last year he confessed that he had feelings for me for a long time.

At first, I didn’t really say anything because I might have liked him back but we both knew that dating was out of question because it was haram so we remained friends knowing that we liked each other. But then the thing about him was he used to be very popular in high school (we didn’t go to same schools) and he used to post pictures of him being extremely close with other girls on social media and I was okay with it because I wasn’t in a position to say anything to him or judge him for the things he did.

At later stages because he wouldn’t reply to my texts for days but he hung out with his friends and posted stories about it. He was clearly ignoring me and I didn’t really know why. He had a seizure and I got to know that through a friend that I was the reason because if he told me I would’ve felt guilty and I was struggling with my own problems.

And the whole situation pissed me off even more because we weren’t friends exactly but he asked me to be patient and that it will take time but then he couldn’t take time out to text me. And there was this time in our lives at the starting of this year, we were both depressed and suicidal due to different reasons and I wrote him a letter of reasons why he shouldn’t kill himself which was very cute at that time but then after that he acted very distant because he thought if he got closer to me, he would end up hurting me because he might like someone else in the future and he won’t really wait around for something that has very minimal chances of happening.

I then blocked him and we haven’t talked since. I keep dreaming about him or constantly thinking about him. I have prayed and made dua for him and for myself that Allah swt helps me to move on but nothing is working and I don’t know what to do or who to ask for help.


Question 7. Suffering from Suspicions, Please Advise!

I suffer a great deal from suspicions. I’ve tried again and again to put my trust in Allah but after some time something triggers the same suspicious behavior in me. Due to this I’m spying on my sister and my peace has been destroyed. Even though I’ve done all I could, I’m still scared that one person will harm us. I’ve been assured in the past that that person will not contact us again but I can’t seem to trust anyone. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m suffering at the hands of this problem on daily basis. Please help me in this regard. I will be forever grateful. Jazakallah!


Question 8. My Father Dislikes Women; Help!

Assalamwalaikum. I am a girl in India with a conservative Muslim family that is very strict about Islam. A few years ago, I found out that my father dislikes women, apparently on an Islamic basis. I’ve heard him say that it’s because “more women will be in hell and will follow Dajjal” and “women will drag 3-4(?) men to hell with them; their fathers, brothers, and husbands (I think their sons too)”. I haven’t found any confirmation on the latter statement but as a concerned Muslim, I want my father to get rid of his dislike of women, especially as my family is sort of hurting due to it. How can I do this, and help him understand that women are equal to men?


Monday, Sep. 18, 2023 | 09:00 - 10:00 GMT

Session is over.
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