Dear brothers and sisters,

Thank you for turning to us and participate in the session.

Please find the questions to which our counselor provided audio answers. If you do not find yours here, check out our upcoming session or submit it there again.

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Question 1. My Family & Islam

We’re a born Muslim family, modern now. For the past several months I’ve been connecting more deeply with Islam and I’ve start to practice it even more. But whenever I try to tell my family something from Islamic point of view, they start arguing with me even though I’m right. They just don’t like me saying that this thing is wrong from Islamic point of view. I don’t wanna argue back but they’re making it so hard for me to hold back. I feel like I’m quite different from all of them I feel like nobody understands me and they just blame me or taunt me or tell me things that makes me feel bad. I’ve been patient as Islam tell us to be. But can you please help me? I don’t know what to do or how to deal with them anymore.

Question 2. My Skin Disease Makes Me Depressed

Assalamualaikum, I’m young female belonging to a family who have beautiful and elegant women including my mom, but as I grew up, I started getting kerotosis pillaris all over my body (it is also called chicken skin).  I tell you it is genetic not a disease and I have an extreme case of it like all over my body. It breaks my heart every time thinking that I’m not at all attractive especially as one of the important criteria for marriage is beauty, and I feel depressed that how will I tell this to anyone I get married and who will marry me, and also the amount of judgmental plp have. Sometimes own family. My KP has taken big troll on me, but I have twakkul in Allah.

ANSWER

Question 3. Enduring Alcoholic Husband

My husband is an alcoholic and is not willing to stop. I have tried leaving him more towards Islam but he is not interested anymore. No family is helping. Also, he has stopped working so when I fall asleep, he takes my card and pays for the alcohol. I’m worried I will be punished for this in the hereafter? Also is it possible for me to get a kula with these grounds?

ANSWER

Question 4. How to Deal with Husband’s Behavior

Me and my husband have been married for 3 years now and have gone through a lot during our wedding with our families not liking each other and constantly fighting on every occasion and meeting. We ignored all that and proceeded to get married to each other. After our nikkah, when we started living with each other everything is great and he takes good care of me by buying me whatever I want and listening to me when I have the silliest thing to talk about, we have a very playful marriage, we’re more like friends and I’m very happy when we’re good. But when things get bad my husband completely stops talking to me by ignoring me for days and weeks, he pretends to think I don’t exist at all, to the point where he doesn’t even look at me.
We just had a baby a month ago and we’ve been fighting over the smallest things on a constant basis and he tells stuff like I’m a dirty women and I don’t know how to be a good mother and do things right, and tells me to go bang my head on the wall to see if I’ll understand stuff or asks me if he should slap me to better understand the needs of our child (I know very well he wouldn’t slap me).
Our marriage has gone downhill ever since the birth of our child and it’s taking a toll on me, after our fight and it’s been 5 days he hasn’t touched our child or spoken to me a word even if I try to talk it out, he asks me to get out of his room and pushes me hard. When do I know if it’s time to move on?

His behavior after the silliest arguments is really taking a toll on me because I feel like he doesn’t love me anymore after the baby, because if he did it would be so easy to stop talking to me for days. Do I get a divorce from him because I’ve been bearing this for a very long time and I’ve had enough and don’t want my daughter learning his behavior.

ANSWER

Question 5. Learning to Control Myself

I have a habit of listening to music and watching those other stuff. I promise myself not to repeat those mistakes but I keep on doing it how can I change?

ANSWER

Question 6. Backbiting Blocks My Speech

As salamu alikum
I am a kind of sensitive person. When I am alone and read some articles like I read about backbiting
I know that I have done this, and throughout the whole day I am searching about it, and I am getting demotivated because it needs some service repentance, like you have to make a lot of dua. So, fearing this, I am not able to talk to anyone. Even I am afraid to talk to my parents. It is just like being alone. Sometimes if someone hurts me or I go to an event or a family gathering, it is my hobby to discuss it with my parents every good or bad things.  And if someone has wrong done to me, I want some to just relief the burden on my heart. How to identify that it is backbiting or not?

ANSWER

Question 7. Attachment and Relationships

Do our parents create a blueprint and a model for us in childhood that we take with us into adulthood in terms of what we look for in a partner?

Sometimes we end up with a spouse that have resembling traits to our parents. Do both parents create the attachment style we have?

ANSWER