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Audio Counseling on Marital & Husband’s Struggles

Dear brothers and sisters,

Thank your for partcipating in the session.

Please find the 8 questions to which our counselor will provide answers soon. If you do not find yours here, check out our upcoming session or submit it there again.

Question 1. She Refuses to Marry Me

Asalaamualikum. I want to get married with my cousin I started talking with her but after somedays she refused to talk and said we don’t have any future this is not possible as she is currently in final year of her studies I even told my parents I want to do nikkah with her I don’t have any bad intentions I just want her in my life in a halal way but whenever I used to talk to her she says no it’s not possible I want the one with same profession sometimes and it is now difficult for me to forget her I even doing istikhara at night praying that our NIKKAH should be done.

So please kindly help me out here as I’m so lost and tired…thank you

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Question 2. Can’t Wait Until Our Marriage Happens

Salam, I wanted to ask what to do in a situation myself and my fiancé are stuck in. We have known each other for 5 years and have been waiting to graduate from university to get married. Our families have met one another and accept each as a future spouse. Him and I have graduated and have been actively trying to get married as we struggle with Zina. We repent every time and try very hard to stay away from the haram. We have been waiting 4 years and it is becoming more and more challenging. My family is ready for me to get married and continue my life with him. But his parents are stubborn and want him to have a lot of money before marriage. This is not possible in our situation or in most new marriages. We have enough money to start us off and jobs that can keep us going alhmadulillah. We are not asking for an extravagant lifestyle. We understand humble beginnings and just want to be with each other in a halal manner. He has told his parents he will marry me with or without their support. We would prefer if his parents were open as less conflict the better. We are hoping to have a nikkah in several months but until then we are still trying to remain righteous and correct our wrongdoings. We have apologized to one another, felt guilty, truly intended to stop our sin and repented to Allah swt. However, we continue to fall into haram even when we make it difficult for that to happen.

I guess my questions are: 1. will Allah swt continue to forgive us as we are trying to make it halal but others are making it difficult for no reason? 2. Will Allah swt still put blessings into our marriage and future despite our wrongdoings? 3. Will we be held fully responsible for our sins, as we are trying to make it halal but his parents are not allowing us? Another point I wanted to mention was the fear of confession to others to feel better about oneself. I struggle a lot with letting go of past mistakes even when I have truly repented and tried to make amends and follow a righteous pathway. However, I don’t know how to let go of the guilt and fear of this sin without feeling as if I need to confess to be pardoned.

I know Allah swt forbids confessing sins expect to him. And I want to follow that but I continue to feel guilty, how can I get rid of this feeling?


Question 3. Mentally unprepared Scared of intimacy

Assalamualaikum….I am married since last year but me and my husband relationship was not so good about sexual life I am very scared about intercourse, physically I am ready with intercourse but time to start now I don’t know why I am starting crying, my abdominal pain were started I am not prepared with mentally….so please can you tell me this situation what can I do? I am very depressed and my husband also very depressed in this situation please guide me what can I do?


Question 4. I Feel Disappointed in My Wife

Before I met my wife, she was friends with a man.
My wife told me this man wanted to take the relationship further and asked her to be in a relationship with him. He is not a Muslim. My wife declined.

I found out about this relationship after we got married. He sent her a message via a messaging app.

I told her this was unacceptable and requested she block him. My wife informed me she did. Fast forward one year and I looked at my wife’s SM page and saw that this man had commented on one of her pictures.

My wife replied thank you. Not only did she lie to me but this reply I find totally unacceptable and indicates feelings of love.

I raised it with her and told her how inappropriate it was and how disappointed I was in her for lying to me. My wife refused to take any responsibility and instead went on the attack.

She is currently visiting her family and I requested she not communicate with me such is my feeling of disappointment in her.

If I was to do something like this which I wouldn’t she would be very upset and angry however she refuses to take responsibility and I really am tired of feeling disrespected.

Do you think I am overreacting?


Question 5. Lost All My Deen

Hello! I need to ask something and I hope your able to answer, last Ramadan I found Islam and everyday I would do my best to get closer to God. I even prayed 64 rakkat a day.  A few months ago everything started to slowly go down, my prayers dua fasting and more where declining, soon enough I can’t even think about anything Islamic without wanting to seriously harm myself (I hate myself for the disgusting waswasa thoughts I have) and I can’t understand what caused this, the only thing I did back then was be religious I even quit all socials back then bc of the haram content, and now I get banished from Islam with no clue what I did wrong, I tried tawbah, I tried istighfar. Now slowly I’m starting to hate Islam and Iam scared. I don’t wanna be a kafir (ps: I have memory issues as well so why is this deen so cruel to me when I can’t find my mistake.)

I have hated myself enough and nothing I did was to any good either! Now anytime I think of deen, I want to kill myself. Help me


Question 6. I Lost My Trust in My Wife

My wife committed adultery. I had a kind of dreams about it and told her about the dream, she said nothing like that will never happen. The guilt of what she did kept disturbing her till she confess to me. I forgave her but I can’t trust her. Please what should I do.


Question 7. Should I Divorce?

My wife was undiagnosed bi-polar and committed adultery with men online during the course of 6 months. She has been on medication for 2 years now, and we are in therapy. Yet I am suffering from anxiety and insecurities every day. Is it wrong/selfish for me to divorce over her prior actions? Or should I try to convince myself this was purely her mental illness?


Question 8. My husband Tricked Me

I am a convert with 3 children, 2 of my kids love with my parents and 3rd lives with his father. My husband has 4 kids from previous marriage. Before I married my fiancé, he told me that we would be big happy family. After getting married he told me my kids are abominations and I needed to forget I ever had them and he cut off all my communication with my family and friends. He told me they were all haram and I needed to forget about all of them. Two of his kids are teenagers and he said I was not allowed to look at or talk to them because of their ages it was inappropriate. It’s been months since we got married and I haven’t seen or spoke to my kids or family since. He took my phone and deleted all my social media and email. Does not allow me to use any electronic devices in fear that I will try to reach out to them. Are these normal expectations of a convert with children? Can I divorce him under these circumstances?


Monday, Dec. 11, 2023 | 09:00 - 10:00 GMT

Session is over.
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