As-Salamu Alaikum,

This is a very difficult situation for the daughter to be in. As the father’s mahram (guardian), the daughter should feel protected by him, but it seems in this instance her rights have been completely violated. At the same time, however, Islamically we are encouraged to engage in forgiveness. Understandably, there is then the additional worry that exposing this grave sin might cause the mother more hurt than she already faces  as a co-wife. The decision about whether to inform the mother is, therefore, a difficult one.

I would suggest going through the two options in more depth before moving forward with a decision. Think about the consequences for all people involved if the mother is told and if she is not. Telling the mother is obviously going to be very distressing for her, given the amount of distress she is already in. But it may serve as protection for the daughter if the family is aware of what the father has done. Alternatively, to keep it a secret will protect the mother from further heartache, but might potentially be damaging to the daughter if the father did not repent for his actions and promise not to do it again. However, if the father has sought forgiveness, then there may be the opportunity to move on from the incident more successfully.

Trust between the father and daughter needs to be repaired and if the daughter does not feel safe around the father, then she may need to move to somewhere where she will be more safe and her own rights protected. Think about the consequences of both possible options and which will be best for the family and  more successful in maintaining the family ties that are such a fundamental part of Islam. Those who know about the incident can get together and discuss between them to ensure the best possible move forward. It is also recommended that you pray Salatul Istikhara that Allah will guide you to make the best decision. Ensure that when you move forward with your decision you are sure about it. Give yourself a bit of time to be sure that you are not just acting on impulse.

May Allah help you to make the best decision that will be best for all in your family. May He bring peace within your household.

Salam,