Salam (Peace) Dear Sister,

Thank you for your question and for joining our live session.

Honesty in Islam is of the utmost importance, but not to the extent that we put ourselves down or expose our weaknesses to those who would show us no mercy and use that information against us. It is not healthy to expose our past mistakes to others who had no knowledge of them and were not affected by them.

If we do this in an effort to being “upfront and open about oneself” we are potentially doing ourselves and others more harm than good. If we made a mistake in the past but later turned away from that and lived a better life, having never returned to that mistake or practice, it serves no good to anyone to expose ourselves and change people’s impressions of us from good to bad.

We are the sum of our experiences, good and bad, but we are also able to change, so we should be respected for who we are now, not judged according to who we were in the past, especially if we have left that part of our life far behind.

Very few people are able to be truly merciful, to forgive others and let the past remain in the past. We don’t need to add fuel to the fire by exposing all of our weaknesses or past mistakes trying to be honest about who we are. We should all be who we appear to be on the surface.

This is the way to develop a peaceful and just society. It nurtures trust among people when they know each other well and feel safe in each other’s presence. We also need to feel safe when we are away from each other knowing that they would never intend to harm us in our absence, and only speak of us what we would be happy to hear in person.

It was narrated by ‘Abdullah that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

“Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. And a man keeps on telling the truth until he becomes a truthful person. Falsehood leads to wickedness and evil-doing, and wickedness leads to The Fire, and a man may keep on telling lies till he is labelled before God, a liar.”  (Sahih Bukhari: Book #73, Hadith #116)

I hope this helps answer your question.

Salam and please keep in touch