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Mixed-Gender Interaction: Prophet’s Time vs. Today

Spiritual & Social Reflections

Segregation of the sexes is a hot topic, especially in the context of worshiping at the masjid (mosque).

Should there be a barrier or not? Is it enough for a curtain to separate men and women, or should they be kept in utterly separate rooms so as to prevent some kind of wild hormone-fueled orgy?

Or… is it possible, just maybe, that Muslim men and women can share the same space and interact in an inherently civilized manner?

Many make the argument that hijab and segregation work towards a common end: to prevent weak, lustful men from preying after beautiful women.

Yet a brief look at both hijab and the concept of segregation at the time of the Prophet (PBUH) paints a very different picture.

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Ibn Abbas narrated:

A beautiful woman, from among the most beautiful of women, used to pray behind the Prophet. Some of the people used to go to pray in the first row to ensure they would not be able to see her.

Others would pray in the last row of the men, and they would look from underneath their armpits [in rukoo’ and sujood] to see her. Because of this act, in regard to her, Allah revealed, “Verily We know the eager among you to be first, and verily We know the eager among you to be behind.” (Qur’an 15: 24)

(Ibn Majah, Abu Dawud, Tayalisi, Baihaqi, Ahmad, Tirmidhi, and Nasai and it is judged sahih by Albani. He includes it as #2472 in his Silsilat al-Ahadith as-Sahih)

Why is this narration so fascinating? Because it reveals how even in the time of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), the Sahabah (companions) had different levels of Imaan (faith) and even in prayer – a time when all worldly desires are meant to be put aside – they still acted upon their desires.

Allah Didn’t Blame The Woman

One of the most interesting aspects of this narration is that when Allah sent down a revelation concerning this situation, He did not rebuke the woman – He rebuked the men who forgot their khushoo’, the men who forgot that Allah is Ever-Watching, the men who forgot that Allah can easily expose those who claim piety yet act in a contrary manner.

Allah is the One Who reminded these men that their intentions are fully known to Him. Note the way that Ibn ‘Abbas shared this story.

This woman was publicly known, and though her name is not mentioned in the narration, her identity was obviously common knowledge amongst the people of Medinah.

It was also known that the pious men were those who made a point of fighting temptation by removing themselves from a situation where they would feel weak, whereas those whose faith was weaker were those who purposely lingered behind to indulge their desires.

Many make the argument that hijab and segregation work towards a common end: to prevent weak, lustful men from preying after beautiful women.
Many make the argument that hijab and segregation work towards a common end: to prevent weak, lustful men from preying after beautiful women.

Now, can you imagine the embarrassment and shame of those men who were publicly rebuked by Allah?

Can you imagine having all of Medinah and those who were visiting Madinah at the time, knowing that your weak and sinful behavior was the cause of Allah sending down Divine Revelation to warn you of His Knowledge?

This verse was and remains a public reminder and rebuke to all Muslim men who attempt to dress up their inappropriate behavior with a guise of ‘religiousness.’

It is a reminder that Muslim men are responsible for lowering their gazes, for controlling their behavior, for removing themselves from a situation where they feel weak.

It is a reminder that they cannot blame their own weakness of faith, character, or actions on women! This anecdote, combined with other narrations that discuss the relationship of men and women in the public sphere (the masjid), display how the Prophet (PBUH) trained his Companions in the appropriate way of interacting with the other gender.

For example, the Prophet (PBUH) made it a habit to remain sitting forward (towards the qiblah) even after finishing prayer, giving the women a chance to leave the masjid before the men (remember, there was no physical barrier between the men and women at the time). He displayed respect towards these women and thus trained his male Companions do act similarly.

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