The big question: How?
How to love our own selves? Many of us hate ourselves, degrade them and feel demotivated and depressed. How can we change these negative attitudes towards one’s own self? Here are some tips:
◊ Avoid perfectionism:
Know that as humans we all make mistakes and that nobody is perfect. So don’t feel demotivated and depressed every time you make a mistake. Don’t give up. We all learn from our mistakes, and success also comes after failure. So instead of being a perfectionist, try to gradually improve and carry on at your own pace. Instead of trying to complete a huge task perfectly at once, divide the task and do step by step.
◊ Get rid of negative company:
Whether it be friends, your boss at work, if they pressure you too much, and scold you all the time about your flaws, get away from them. Keep your distance. Don’t become a victim of peer pressure, conforming to all that they say and do, even if your heart yearns otherwise. Remember that your own self, and your mental health, is much more important.
◊ Appreciate the blessings Allah has given you:
If you are feeling down in the dumps and feel like you have nothing, and need a push to boost your self-esteem; then just try to count the number of blessings Allah has bestowed upon you.
Take a piece of paper and make two columns. In one column write down the sad events that are happening in your life and what you feel is missing from your life.
In the other column, try to list down the blessings Allah has given you. Think about it. Your senses, the ability to walk, the hands you are using to write with, the piece of paper, the glass of water that you just drank; all these are His blessing that He bestowed upon YOU.
Think of the people who haven’t got these simple yet precious blessings too. Don’t you wonder how much you have been blessed with? Doesn’t that make you love yourself even more?
Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:
“Look at those who are beneath you and do not look at those who are above you, for it is more suitable that you should not consider as less the blessing of Allah.” (Sunan Ibn Majah)
◊ Utilize your skills:
There are days that you feel like you are of no value to this world. That you are useless and know nothing. That’s false. Completely false.
Everyone has been created for a purpose and everyone has been created uniquely. Each one of us has a special talent, even if some of us don’t know it yet. It’s up to us to discover that talent, to flourish it, to foster it. So do what you are good at, what interests you. If you are a natural author, then write, write and write.
If you love drawing, then keep on drawing. Join an art class if you wish. If you have a passion for cooking, then bring it up, and cook as much as you want. It will bring peace to yourself and make you love yourself more, as you finally begin to understand that you can do something, that you are actually great at something.
◊ Give compliments to yourself:
As humans, we all yearn for compliments and praise from others. If you don’t get it, then you feel degraded and your motivation just disappears. Well, then why don’t you try complimenting yourself occasionally for a change? Let’s give it a try and see whether it elevates your mood and self-esteem even a little.
For instance, you make a schedule and finish everything according to it. Congratulations, you’ve just made a great achievement! But alas, no one appreciated your work this time.
No one said a word of praise or looked at you with a smile and a hug. No worries, just tell yourself that you’ve done a great job. Stand in front of the mirror and give yourself a big smile. Then treat yourself to something that you really love, say some cake or ice cream?
Above are just a few ways to love yourself. Just remember, yourself matters a lot. Groom yourself, love your appearance. Love yourself for what you are. Appreciate your own abilities and make use of them. Accept that there are ups and downs in life, and that your self needs to grieve every once and then.
Smile often, and do not degrade yourself. Instead of giving up on tasks without even trying, start with the motive of doing and completing it, no matter how hard it might be or how long it might take. You know you can do it. You know you can love yourself.
“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”
– Stacey Charter
Originally published on https://aspiringcounselorsclubiou.wordpress.com/2017/03/24/love-your-self/Pages: 1 2