Spirituality is the cure

As Muslims, we are well aware of the dangers of addictions and of the sins associated with it.  Sexual addictions are a double edge sword as not only is the person committing a sin by being addicted to something, they are also (most likely) committing zina (adultery).

As an environmental/social or biological etiology, with a weakness or propensity to develop such as addiction, Aboutislam encourages individuals to seek professional intervention. In addition, they are encouraged to develop self-control, get in touch with their most inner selves stating “being in touch with themselves, they are able to feel remorseful, seek forgiveness from Allah, and return to a state of self-control.

The height of self-control is manifested in those people who are in touch with themselves to the extent that even a fleeting thought of transgression is sufficient enough as a warning for them and they exercise patience and self-control from seeking to satisfy their lower desires in an impermissible manner (7).

Allah Most High reminds us that they are {Those who show patience, firmness and self-control; who are true (in word and deed); who worship devoutly; who spend (in the way of Allah.); and who pray for forgiveness in the early hours of the morning.} (Qur’an 3:17).

While it may be easy to “pass judgment” (passing judgment is always more easier than helping) on those with addictions, especially one as sinful and harmful as sexual addictions-which can tear apart the very fabric of one’s soul, life and family, we must also be reminded that it is an illness, and it is torturous for the sufferer just as any other addiction or severe mental illness is.

“Individuals with sexual addiction live within a frighteningly dark and lonely cycle of sexual encounters that are merely compulsions to quiet their mind’s obsessions! It is often the case that these individuals eventually end up using unlawful and unfaithful means to gratify their addiction (that is prostitution and pornography) (8).

While most of us will never know the dark bellows of hell those who suffer from sexual addiction go through, one can only imagine battling the illness while crying out to Allah SWT for help. Truly damaged, most cannot seem to find their way out of the never-ending cycle.

The shame, embarrassment, and sinful nature often cause Muslims (and others) to hide their unrelenting addiction and pain. In some countries, seeking help and acknowledging this horrendous disorder would result in death. In addressing and resolving sexual addictions in the Muslim community, perhaps more education on sexual addictions is needed as well as “safe places” for those who recognize it in themselves and wish to get help.

Without education about this illness/addiction, as well as safe places for people to seek help, those with sexual addictions will continue to live double lives, suffering in silence and harming others. We owe it to our ummah to do better than that. We have the tools available for helping-educational materials, professional treatment, and guidance from the Qur’an. If we think about addiction in terms of “what if it were one of our family members or loved ones”, the choice may be easier.

References:

1-http://psychcentral.com/lib/who-is-a-sex-addict/

2-http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/05/too-much-or-too-little-dsm-vs-gray-area-on-sex.html

3-http://www.addiction.com/expert-blogs/sex-addiction-dsm-5-2/

4-http://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-sexual-addiction/

5-http://psychcentral.com/lib/what-causes-sexual-addiction

6-http://www.medicinenet.com/sexual_addiction/page5.htm#what_is_the_treatment_for_sexual_addiction

7-http://www.onislam.net/english/shariah/refine-your-heart/advice/470303-soul-self-control-addiction-drugs-internet-porno.html

8-http://www.onislam.net/english/ask-the-counselor/addiction/163611.html

First published: April 2016