Encouragement Instead of Chastisement
“O Aisha, Allah is gentle and He loves gentleness. He rewards for gentleness, what is not granted for harshness, and He does not reward anything else like it.” Sahih Muslim 2593.
When we encourage our children to pray, fast, and wear hijab, rather than put immense pressure on them to do it, it will be received far better.
It might take days, months, or years before our children are convinced of certain things.
However, the key is to gently encourage them and guide them.
Let’s be patient and make dua to Allah that our children will be guided in the right way.
If we are harsh or punish them, we are not going to make our children love Allah or Islam. On the contrary, they will fear Allah in the wrong way and hate Islam.
Educate, Educate, Educate
Education is key, and it comes from us, their parents.
You cannot expect the imams in the mosque to do it all. You cannot expect your Sunday school Islamic teacher to do it either.
Education starts at home.
When my daughter asks me questions about our religious obligations, I explain to her as much as possible, and if I don’t know the answers to these questions, I find out.
If I am not sure or need advice, I will go to someone I know who has been successful with this. There is nothing wrong with reaching out for advice when needed.
If we raise our children to be too liberal, then we leave Islam out of the equation.
On the other hand, if we raise our children in an oppressive way, practicing Islam will feel like a punishment to them.
When we are oppressive, we will give our children the wrong impression of Islam, and that is an injustice on our part.
We need to instill Islamic values in our children and make sure they carry them out by taking the middle way.
Being too forceful or too lenient is not the way.
We need to follow the middle path. That way, we will raise good, balanced children who understand their religion properly.
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