The traditional scene in many homes is the daily quarrel and nagging about completing the child’s homework.
Mothers complain all the time about how they spend hours of their precious lifetime trying to encourage their children to complete their assignments.
Mothers’ sacrifice could reach the extent of not going out nor doing any personal requirement just to remain watching her kids doing their homework.
The problem is that, in addition to the homework being boring and sometimes useless, the mothers overstress about it in such a negative way.
The result is that instead of this being a positive bonding time between parent and child, it turns to have the most repulsive and extremely negative effect on the parent-child relationship as well as on the child’s passion for learning.
So how do you, as a parent, ensure you don’t fall into this tornado of homework disaster?
1. Early Literacy (Nursery Stage)
Make sure you choose the right nursery for your child, one that provides a well-balanced reading program that reinforces early literacy.
But also make sure that it’s a well-achieving program that doesn’t force children to learn skills that are above their developmental level.
When the child is lovingly attached to reading at a very young age, it becomes an inbuilt passion and a very essential skill for his later formal school life.
And if a child goes into school a strong reader, this ensures his school achievements because, simply put, everything goes easily and smoothly without difficulties.
Encouragement of pretend play is an important precipitating factor for early literacy success. Make sure your child’s nursery provides ample time for unstructured play.
2. Kindergarten Stage
If your child has passed the crucial phase in the nursery, make sure that the school you choose adopts a good phonetically based and leveled reading program that ensures that every child is individually assessed according to his or her own pace.
Make sure that your child’s first experience with learning and home assignments is a pleasant one.
If you frown and shout for your child to do the homework, a very negative impression of learning will be printed in your child’s mind and heart for a long time, maybe forever.
That’s why when you say to your child, “Do you have homework?” you should use the facial expression of a fun activity like playing together or having ice cream.
Homework time should be fun for as long as you can convince your child it is fun, which is when he is old enough to unfortunately learn from his peers that it’s a problem for them.
3. Elementary Stage
This is the time when you make sure your help is not causing your child to be dependent on you.
This is the stage when your child will learn to be responsible for his own actions and bear with their consequences.
It is not at all advisable to correct your child’s homework so that he gets a full mark.
This action will also mislead the teacher into a false assessment of the child’s level, which confuses the whole plan of teaching within the child’s developmental level.
It is much better for your child to lose a few marks at this early stage than later, when he refuses your help or rejects it.
At this age, you also focus on the “love of learning” so, even if your child’s school does not teach through real-life activities and projects, you should adopt this strategy at home.
For example, inventing a game, song, or activity for a boring lesson or going on a real-life trip that is relevant to implementing this harsh lesson.
If you are going to be occasionally beside your child for coaching and skill acquisition, then make sure it’s a loving and intimate time.
Do this with hugs, kisses, hair patting, and emotional support.
These emotions will be automatically interpreted as a favorable experience of this homework time, which he will grow to love by association without knowing why.
When you praise your child for working, do it sincerely, using descriptive sentences like “I love how you write neatly,” not just “Good job”!
4. Middle School Stage
This is when you model for your child your own work efforts.
Be careful if you daily complain of working, you can never expect your child to enjoy his own work.
By this age, your child should be completely independent, meaning you are free as a parent to go out or watch TV even if your child has an exam the next day.
And this level of independence could be reached as early as the previous elementary stage if you start as early as the nursery stage.
Avoid comparing your child with his peers or any of his colleagues; this totally reverses your child’s passion for achievement.
Even if your child is tempted to make you happy and does work hard just to please you, comparing him to others will cause a very serious problem of always feeling “not enough,” and down goes his self-confidence.
This may also lead to your child thinking he is working for you and not for himself, which leads to a loss of enthusiasm for achievement.
5. High School Stage
Of course, at this age, your child is another adult at home, so your only involvement will be according to his request.
Like, for example, asking you to listen to his presentation rehearsal or give your opinion on something he made.
All through the previous stages, it was never appropriate to blame, shame or negatively label a child.
Physical and verbal abuse is also out of the question if you want to ensure your child’s physical, emotional, and psychological well-being.
It is easily and enjoyably possible for your child to be an independent, self-motivated learner only if you do your homework as a parent.
This article is from our archive, originally published at an earlier date and highlighted here for its importance.