Raising children in today’s world comes with unique challenges and constant reflection.
As a mother of two daughters, I experience this every day. My eldest is an introvert, finding comfort in quiet moments and thoughtful reflection, while my youngest is an extrovert, full of energy and curiosity.
I strive to meet both of their needs and honor their feelings, creating a balance that allows each of them to flourish in her own way.
Yet despite my best intentions, I often wrestle with familiar feelings of mom guilt. I wonder if I am doing too much—or perhaps not enough.
But the more I think about it, the more I realize that my doubts are not signs of failure but reflections of the love, responsibility, and care that motherhood entails.
And it is within this space of intention and faith that I seek to guide my daughters, hoping to raise them as confident, compassionate, and balanced young women.
Tarbiyyah begins at home.
From the moment Allah blesses a couple with a child, it becomes their responsibility to nurture them with manners, values, and, most importantly, consciousness of Allah.
Raising a child is something active, intentional, and meaningful. He reminds us of this in the Qur’an:
“O you who believe, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire.” (Qur’an 66:6)
Every child is unique.
No two children are the same. Each one has a different personality and a different way of seeing the world. Many first-time parents struggle with understanding that they must adapt to the unique needs of each child.
Sometimes they forget that these little ones are actually full human beings with their own feelings, dreams, and thoughts.
Respecting your children’s emotions—their questions, boundaries, fears, and even their playfulness—helps them grow into confident and healthy adults.
But here is the thing:
Children need emotional connection before they can accept corrections. Our example matters, and they learn more from what we do than what we say.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Every one of you is a shepherd, and every one of you will be questioned about his flock.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
So think about it for a moment: How many times do you sit with your children and truly speak to them at their level?
How many times do you pause to listen?
Do you actually say, “I love you,” or apologize when you lose your patience?
Being merciful is our true tradition.
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ showed affection openly. When he kissed his grandson Al-Hasan, a man remarked that he had never kissed his own children.
The Prophet ﷺ replied:
“Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
This is the example we are meant to follow.
Your children need emotional connection, acceptance, and time. When they say they are tired or overwhelmed, they need a parent who will pause and listen.
Children who grow up without attention or warmth often struggle deeply, and sometimes their pain appears as anger or harmful behavior.
There is no such thing as a perfect parent.
We learn from our mistakes and from our daily interactions with our children. And Allah SWT knows your efforts and intentions. This is where the Qur’an and Sunnah turn into action.
If you fall short one day, try again the next, hoping to improve and seeking Allah’s help.
So don’t despair. Use your chances to do better.
Smile at your children. Laugh with them. Sit on the floor and play with them.
Go outside, enjoy the sunlight, and let them chase butterflies.
Listen to their silly questions and answer them with warmth. Create memories that will stay in their hearts forever.
Decide to be one of the reasons they look back at their childhood with happiness, in sha’ Allah.
May this dua be accepted:
I ask Allah, the Most Gentle and Most Kind, to bless and protect all parents and children. I ask Allah, the Most Generous and Most Loving, to make the affairs of every family easy and to fill every home with faith, mercy, and tranquility. May He make Tawheed and Taqwa the foundation of raising the next generation.
Ameen.