Youth often believe that parents just don’t understand them. To them, the world is a unique place that only those of the same age understand.
Parents are on the outside looking in, only knowing what they’re told and what they see.
Muslim youth must cultivate their Muslim identities while doing the busy work of growing into young adults.
But the same adaptability that leads to youth’s success can also lead to the demise of one of their most important relationships—their relationship with their parents.
From tirelessly managing school work to successfully navigating social spaces, youth learn to be adaptable in order to thrive.
As a result, many Muslim youth tend to live double lives in order to avoid clashing with their parents.
Here’s what parents can do in order to address this problem:
Cultural Differences
Youth who are being raised in countries whose Muslim population is not the majority will face special challenges.
They may try to preserve their Muslim identities within cultures with secular values that conflict with Islamic principles.
It’s important to help youth from an early age know that they don’t have to accept the cultural norms that they live among—especially if they are unIslamic.
Stress that they are a part of the environment but don’t have to take part in it.
This may decrease their feeling of being torn between two worlds.
They don’t need to present themselves one way in the Muslim community and another way out in the world.
Generational Differences
Many young Muslims are inspired by what’s trendy and popular in mainstream and Muslim niches.
These trends may be considered chic, but older generations of Muslims may find the youths’ actions and clothing immodest.
Instead of being quick to forbid, consider a compromise.
First, listen to what they want to accomplish. Then, find a solution that both of you agree on. This will reduce the chance of the youth sneaking around to do certain things or wear certain clothes.
Social Media
There are so many social media apps available that parents must make the effort to at least familiarise themselves with the ones that their children use the most.
It’s easy for youth to develop online personas that project the perfect image of themselves that they want others to believe.
To help our youth avoid living double lives, take a genuine interest in the things they have to say and the things they do.
Show that you’re a superior listener to anyone they’d find on social media.
Earn their trust so that they feel comfortable being themselves around you.
As parents, how well we communicate with our children can be the difference between them living a double life and being comfortable being their true, authentic selves.
Each new day that Allah (swt) allows us to see is a new chance to listen to our children without judgement and talk to them from a place of love.
This article is from our archive.