We really want to get this decision right if it is for all eternity, we want to choose the perfect partner for us who’s on our level in life. Due to this high number of choices we have to choose from, many of us automatically put the idea of marriage on hold and decide to pursue further in our education and careers because it becomes overwhelming. As a result, we start to see the number of older single Muslims who are still not married rising.
The problem doesn’t even stop here; when we happen to meet someone we’re interested in but see him/her as good but not perfect, we subconsciously start to become more controlling over what they can and can’t do, what they should and shouldn’t do, and who they can or can’t be because until they fit into that image, we are not satisfied and happy with our decision of choosing them.
In doing this, we swipe left on them just like the online dating app Tinder, we give up on them to start looking for that perfect match so we can swipe right on them then. In doing so, we are encouraging the same destructive cycle to repeat itself while also lowering our chances of finding the right partner for us.
It’s time we start learning from our own mistakes and the mistakes of others, it is time to start reflecting on and analyzing major issues in our societies to understand and learn the lessons from them.
Here are 6 reasons we are still single, as we have seen from the above sections:
1. Low expectations is the key to happiness.
2. Searching for that one perfect match is an endless journey.
3. Swipe right on a ‘good enough’ match. Then work with them over time to build a strong relationship foundation that is supportive of self and relationship development.
4. Full acceptance of the other person and who they truly are, is essential in any relationship.
5. Commitment, hard work, time, and effort put into building the relationship can’t be avoided. It is nearly impossible to find someone who perfectly fits the image we have in our heads.
6. Change can’t be forced on anyone, it has to come from within.
In part 2, we delve deeper into the issues surrounding the Muslim Marriage Crisis: Specifically Cultural and Family Preferences
Republished upon author’s kind permission. First published on muslimdamsel.com