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Top 10 Reasons Why Marriage Fails

Marriage Counselors Share Their Experience

5. Turned Focus

The most frequent issue men seem to have is that the focus of their wives changes when the couple has children.

It often leads to the husband feeling inadequate and neglected, which, in turn, leads to a lack of intimacy.

Couples also allow technology to interfere with their relationship. This is quite rampant with people texting at dinner, surfing the Internet in the evenings and using their smart phones constantly.

As a result, the focus on each other is shifted. Sitting next to your partner with your own tablet does not equate to quality time.

6. Money, Money, Money

Money is a huge issue. Marriages can often survive infidelity, but money issues can be a dissolver of the marital union universally.

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Nadirah maintains that this issue is not uncommon in Muslim households.

It can be way at times for the insecure man to control the woman.

In a two-income household, there is often resentment felt towards the partner who earns more. This often leads to unhealthy competition.

7. Forgive Me, Honey

Forgiveness should come easily to a relationship based on mutual love.

Top 10 Reasons Why Marriage Fails - About Islam

Not so for a majority of couples, according to the experts.

Unwillingness to forgive for minor offences (i.e. not unpacking the dishwasher, leaving clothes lying around) and major issues (i.e. accumulating debt) can affect a relationship negatively.

Most issues in a marriage can arise from a partner’s unwillingness to forgive each other. In marital life, forgiveness should be unconditional.

8. Lack of Appreciation

When appreciation is low, conflict is high. Lack of appreciation is often the root cause of infidelity in marriage.

Couples tend to take their partners for granted. They mistakenly believe they will always be there.

When two people feel 100% validated and appreciated by their partner, there is little room for conflict.

9. Emotional Affairs

Islamic Care Line, a counseling service for couples in South Africa, has seen a major rise in emotional affairs with the advancement of technology.

These affairs are usually not about sex but more about emotional intimacy shared with someone else rather than the partner.

Learning to trust and be emotionally healed after these types of affairs can be incredibly difficult.

Couples face a huge uphill battle, and it can be avoided if the partner learns to express their feelings and needs to their significant other.

10. Power Struggles

Anisa Moosa, a social worker at Islamic Care Line finds this to be a huge issue in marriages as couples compete, even spiritually, to be on top of the relationship.

Top 10 Reasons Why Marriage Fails - About Islam

Each partner tries to outdo the other, and this can have disastrous effects if the couples do not know when or how to toe the line.

When winning and being right become more important than having a loving union, then the victory is often hollow and short-lived.

Relationships are complicated, and couples’ circumstances are unique.

Although these are certainly not all of the relationship troubles that can befall us, they are the most common ones, that seem to be reported.

Always invest in your relationship and be grateful that Allah has bestowed you with a beloved partner in this world.


The article is from the archive, published at an earlier date and is highlighted now for its importance.

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About Fatima Bheekoo-Shah
Fatima Bheekoo-Shah is the author of "Saffron" (A collection of personal narratives by Muslim women), a freelance writer and book reviewer. She resides in Gauteng, South Africa. A book nerd and avid reader, Fatima is always looking for her next great read.