“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.” ~ James Holt McGavran

“A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” ~ Milton Berle

“I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.” ~ David Bissonette

“When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.” ~ Sacha Guitry

“After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin, they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.” ~ Hemant Joshi

“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” ~ Socrates

“Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.” ~ Dumas

“I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.” ~ Anonymous

“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take

time

to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner,  soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” ~ Henry Youngman

“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” ~ Patrick Murray

“Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.” ~ Nash

Taken from Funny Jokes & Inspirational Stories Website. Click here to read more…