Imagine a young man belonging to a well-to-do, influential, and high-class family today, taking such an option for himself, as we all know how a man desires female variety, progeny, and “freedom” from responsibilities at this age!
Imagine him marrying a 40-year-old woman at the age of 25, and staying loyal to her until the age of 43, never cheating once with another woman.
Besides his chastity, fidelity, and loyalty to the one wife he had during the first two-thirds of his life, Prophet Muhammad’s shining qualities as an older husband to all his other wives also became apparent during the last 20 years of his life.
It is not just the love, care, and forgiveness he showed to his wives that proves his lofty character as a husband, but his decency and chivalry as a righteous man shine forth even more so through what he did not do to them, even though he had the authority to.
He Never Rebuked His Wives in Front of Others
It is common for many husbands to rebuke their wives for the slightest mistake when they are stressed out, e.g., not cooking their favorite meal properly, or on time; or for spoiling their shirt while doing the laundry.
Raising his voice at his wife, telling her off with a big scowl on her face in front of others, telling her to “shut up” or “get lost” during a favorite sports game or TV show, or outright calling her names when she shouts at, annoys or nags him – these are things not unheard of for some, if not most, husbands nowadays.
We can imagine how a husband would react if someone sent him food that he liked, and his wife, in a fit of sudden jealousy, threw the dish on to the floor, causing the food to spill and the utensil to break.
How do you think most husbands today would react to such a situation? Don’t you think that most would immediately tell off their wife?
Don’t you think they’ll immediately order her sternly to clean up the mess in front of the men witnessing the incident?
Guess what? This actually happened to the Prophet, yet he didn’t shout at his wife and cleaned up the mess himself.
Being the just man that he was, however, he did command her to compensate for the broken utensil!
Aloofness: His Strictest Reprimand
The Prophet showed immense patience when one or more of his wives behaved emotionally in his presence, whether in public or private.
He never called them names, nor did he ever lift a finger to strike any one of them, even when they’d make him very angry.
The most severe method of “discipline” or reprimand that he used when he was angry at one or more of his wives was ignoring them (not talking to them) and not visiting them in their private quarters for a certain period of time, which meant that he turned away from them sexually as well.
This proved to be a very effective method of correcting his wives when they angered him for reasons disliked by Allah and not endorsed by Islam.
He Was Not Controlling
Many new brides confess to receiving a clear list of “don’t’s” from their husbands as soon as the nikah ceremony is over, even before the wedding flowers have wilted.
Examples of such restrictions that husbands place on wives immediately after the wedding, citing their superior Islamic rights over them as the reason, are: “you will not talk to your male colleagues and cousins.” “You will not go to any social gathering without me.” “You will never take up a job or career.” “You will visit your parents only once a week/month/year.” “You will not invite that annoying girlfriend of yours to our home.” “You will delete your Facebook account.” You will not gain weight,” etc.
Such restrictions from new husbands are a sign of an underlying insecurity that manifests itself in the form of paranoid possessiveness, irrational jealousy, and an attempt to exert an extreme level of control over their wife – thwarting and suppressing her movement, her halal hobbies and interests, and even her bubbly personality.
The reason that husbands usually provide for such strictness is the superior rights afforded to them by Islam, as their wives’ guardians/maintainers, to put such restrictions on them for the overall good of the home.Pages: 1 2 3