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Series

Overcoming Emotional Hardships After Divorce

Part Two

After first leaving the marriage he was not himself. He’s a business person who loves to help others, but after his divorce his clients could read it on his face that something was bothering him. He wasn’t able to provide local workshops to help people with their business. He became demotivated and severely depressed.

However he was able to keep the faith by getting closer to Allah (SWT).

“Increasing ibadat (acts of worship) did help me ease my pain and brought me back to the right track,” he shared. “But by God it’s not easy.”

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Many sisters shared the activities that helped ease overwhelm. Powerful activities include taking Islamic classes, praying tahajjud, regular salah, making dua, reading and reciting Qur’an, fasting, regular meet-ups with friends, joining support groups and even calling prayer hotlines. All these activities helped them get through the ups and downs of their divorces.

Overcoming Emotional Hardships After Divorce - About Islam

Reinvent yourself after divorce

Zahra believes that the resetting time after divorce should be focused on self-love, thriving, and manifesting a grand life for self and child(ren) without a partner.

As a life coach specializing in helping women heal from adversity, abuse, and trauma, Zahra shares that coaches such as herself can help women set goals, take actions, and manifest their marvelous selves in the manner and for the purpose Allah (SWT) created them.

One sister shares, “The first month after my divorce was Ramadan. I was so busy fasting, reading Quran, and making salaat. I really had no reason to be upset about being divorced. I never felt that getting divorced would do anything to weaken my faith. If anything, divorce has strengthened my faith since I really can’t help feeling relief that I’m finally free to be the kind of Muslim I want to be.”

Another sister shares that she was careful not to abandon her faith and dignity after divorce.

“I always felt that divorced women are constantly under the spotlight, particularly in our community,” she explains, “So I made sure I was always on my best behavior. I didn’t want to run wild, embracing my freedom, and literally let my hair down! I felt that as long as I kept Allah (SWT) happy, and didn’t do anything to disappoint or embarrass my parents then I’d be doing okay.”

Zahra also urges divorcees to prepare ahead of the challenges of being single again. “If you need to take care of yourself financially,” she explains, “get training, get work, and gain knowledge about wealth generation, investment, and banking.”

Use your divorce as an opportunity to reinvent yourself and become a better Muslim – the Muslim you always wanted to be.

Don’t dwell on the past

Zahra shares that it’s better to focus on yourself and your own healing rather than thinking about your ex. “Do not go searching him out or allow him to search you out –every time you get curious to scratch at the drying scab over the wound, ask yourself why you want to hurt yourself like that?”

Zahra encourages women to, instead, “Go do something wonderful for yourself – pamper yourself, go pray, go connect with someone who makes you feel loved and worthy.” She encourages women to make self-care choices instead of, “chasing after someone who did not treasure you enough to be your protector, provider and caretaker.”

Preparing for the future

Zahra explains, “Know that Allah (SWT) only ejects you from something that is hurting you and that being single is far better than being alone in a marriage to a man that is disinterested, uncaring, dishonest and/or unkind.”

Think to the future and accept that the marriage and divorce is all parts of Allah’s plan.

To heal from the past and prepare for the future, focus on becoming a better Muslim so that you can be present fully and wholly in a new relationship if and when you feel ready.

First published: March 2018

Pages: 1 2
About Janet Kozak
Janet Kozak is a content strategist who helps businesses grow their brand with creative copywriting and content marketing. When she’s not writing and designing, you can find her indulging in masala fries or elbow deep in scraps of paper creating her one-of-a-kind art collages. Meet Janet and get ready to grow your business at http://janetkozak.com/