He wasn’t able to provide local workshops to help people with their businesses. He became demotivated and severely depressed.
However, he was able to keep the faith by getting closer to Allah (SWT).
“Increasing ibadah (acts of worship) did help me ease my pain and bring me back to the right track,” he shared. “But by God it’s not easy.”
Many sisters shared the activities that helped ease overwhelm.
Powerful activities include taking Islamic classes, praying tahajjud, doing regular salah, making dua, reading and reciting the Qur’an, fasting, attending regular meet-ups with friends, joining support groups, and even calling prayer hotlines.
All these activities helped them get through the ups and downs of their divorces.
Reinvent yourself after divorce
Zahra believes that the resetting time after divorce should be focused on self-love, thriving, and manifesting a grand life for herself and her children without a partner.
As a life coach specializing in helping women heal from adversity, abuse, and trauma, Zahra shares that coaches such as herself can help women set goals, take actions, and manifest their marvelous selves in the manner and for the purpose Allah (SWT) created them.
One sister shares,
“The first month after my divorce was Ramadan. I was so busy fasting, reading Quran, and making salaat. I really had no reason to be upset about being divorced. I never felt that getting divorced would do anything to weaken my faith.
If anything, divorce has strengthened my faith since I really can’t help feeling relief that I’m finally free to be the kind of Muslim I want to be.”
Another sister shares that she was careful not to abandon her faith and dignity after divorce.
“I always felt that divorced women are constantly under the spotlight, particularly in our community,” she explains, “So, I made sure I was always on my best behavior. I didn’t want to run wild, embrace my freedom, and literally let my hair down!
I felt that as long as I kept Allah (SWT) happy and didn’t do anything to disappoint or embarrass my parents, then I’d be doing okay.”
Zahra also urges divorcees to prepare for the challenges of being single again.
“If you need to take care of yourself financially,” she explains, “get training, get work, and gain knowledge about wealth generation, investment, and banking.”
Use your divorce as an opportunity to reinvent yourself and become a better Muslim – the Muslim you always wanted to be.
Don’t dwell on the past
Zahra shares that it’s better to focus on yourself and your own healing rather than thinking about your ex.
“Do not go searching him out or allow him to search you out —every time you get curious to scratch at the drying scab over the wound, ask yourself why you want to hurt yourself like that.”
Zahra encourages women to instead “go do something wonderful for yourself—pamper yourself, go pray, go connect with someone who makes you feel loved and worthy. Make self-care choices instead of “chasing after someone who did not treasure you enough to be your protector, provider, and caretaker.“
Preparing for the future
“Know that Allah (SWT) only ejects you from something that is hurting you and that being single is far better than being alone in a marriage to a man that is disinterested, uncaring, dishonest and/or unkind.”
Think to the future and accept that marriage and divorce are all parts of Allah’s plan.
To heal from the past and prepare for the future, focus on becoming a better Muslim so you can be fully and wholly present in a new relationship if and when you feel ready.
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