It Could Be (the lack of) Your Sex Life

“Yes it was the lack of sex,” admitted Sara, working mother of three.

“I am actually surprised that he took this long to let me know because I was getting frustrated too. We were always busy, and when there was enough time to spend together, we would end up snoring within the first five minutes if we were lucky. Or we would be complaining about work or the kids, and ultimately end up bickering.”

Intimacy is not always easy to achieve especially in today’s busy world, but if it is lacking, it can set sirens off in your relationship.

“When he said he missed us as a couple before the children, we decided it was time to cut back on the working hours and spend more time with the kids. At the same time, we could also send them on playgroups without feeling too guilty (as if we were neglecting them).”

“That took a load off,” Sara said,

“We had more time to be together. Not just for sexual intimacy but to ‘date’. We could actually talk to each other without feeling grouchy or exhausted. It felt like we were newlyweds again, even if it was just for two hours a week – and then our son would then come back with a poopy nappy.”

Not everyone has the flexibility that Sara and her husband has. Sometimes it takes a little more planning. A weekend away from responsibilities or setting a new schedule for date night could just do the trick.

For Nadia it was a little more complicated.

“I had a bad birthing experience with my fifth child, and I had not realized it had affected me sexually until my husband brought it up.”

“He felt that I was holding back and was feeling ashamed of my body,” she said.

“That’s when I broke down and told him that I had felt humiliated during the last birth and no longer sexually attractive.”

“He was shocked,” she continued, “because he had no qualms about my physical appearance even though I had changed so much since before the babies started coming.”

Nadia’s husband arranged for her to meet with a psychiatrist on her own, and later they attended as a couple. After a few months it resolved the issue and Nadia realized that she too had been unhappy. Other problems can affect sexual well-being, such as female-related infections. If you find that the lack of intimacy is affecting your marriage, then this is the time to thrash out the problem.

A healthy sex life revolves around a couple who actively look forward towards intimacy and enjoys it even more.