What Happens Today?

In reality, Muslim men and women alike have forgotten the beautiful manners that should mark our actions, especially in mixed-gender interactions.

In many mosques around the world, especially those which are segregated – extremely inappropriate behavior takes place between men and women who attend.

There are numerous horror stories of men who prowl around the women’s entrances, trying to establish verbal or even physical contact under the guise of innocuous ‘conversation’; women who show up to the masjid in full regalia, eager to hunt down a man; and so much more.

Muslim women as well as Muslim men have forgotten their obligation to conduct themselves with the honor and dignity that behooves true believers.

Just as Muslim men have the obligation to lower their gazes and treat all women with respect, honor, and dignity – so too are Muslim women enjoined to lower their gazes and treat men with respect, honor, and dignity.

Looking back at the interactions between men and women companions, we see that – whether they were discussing religious matters or arguing a difference of opinion, every instance of contact was marked by a striving for chastity, for spiritual strength and purity.

They understood that every individual is held accountable before Allah, questioned as to whether they played a role in improving society… or making it worse.

Is It Haram to Look at the Opposite Gender?

Was the purpose of their communication a positive one, a beneficial one, one that would add to their book of good deeds?

Or was it merely to indulge their baser human desires, the desire to be admired by the other gender, to be flattered, to attract attention, to coax interest not in a subject of import, but of a more personal type?

Whether in the masjid or the mall, school or on the sidewalk, men and women alike are enjoined to be keenly aware of themselves and their roles in creating, encouraging, and maintaining a society that values spiritual purity and chastity.

{Tell the believing men to lower their gazes and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is acquainted with what they do. And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment…And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.} (Qur’an 24: 30-31)

A balanced interaction, possible?

Unfortunately, the concept of spiritual chastity (especially with regards to mixed-gender interaction) has been mocked, criticized, and rejected by many who consider themselves ‘progressive’ and yet fail to recognize that the loss of spiritual chastity has resulted in the detriment of society as a whole.

Respect and dignity can only exist when these values are encouraged, and the current environment of hyper-sexualization does nothing to foster pure, honorable relationships between men and women that are independent of sexual intentions.

As a result of our gross misunderstanding of the Sunnah, we have gone to two extremes: attempting to segregate the genders to an unhealthy level, to the point where a simple, innocent conversation is considered sin; or throwing out any notion of hijab, lowering the gaze, and considering any and all behavior between the genders – even zina – to be acceptable.

In both cases, diseased hearts are created and fostered, because there is no holistic understanding of the Qur’an and Sunnah. Islam came to transform the Ummah from one of ignorance to one of beauty, honor, dignity, and respect.

To reach that state, we must go back to the understanding of the prophet and his Companions.

Only then can we possibly start seeing the men and women of this Ummah coming together, as they were meant to be, to cooperate upon birr and taqwa: goodness and righteousness.

This article is from our archive.