3 – You Feel More Secure 

Friendships in our 40s are decidedly different than those in our 20s or 30s. You will feel much more secure in who you are and therefore much more confident in developing and sustaining meaningful friendships, as well as in the subtle art of letting friendships go.

Mariam, a University lecturer, says:

“I was much more willing to put effort into relationships that were not ultimately worth the effort. Now I am happy to let go without feeling like a failure and invest the time in people who I care about. Even if it means I have fewer friends.”

This is the age when you accept people more freely. Your younger years come with expectations of being with the crowd, or having a lot of friends.

Any Friendship Between Muslims and Other Groups?

Compatibility mattered, of course. And you sought out people who were more like you.

I recently found myself at a book event and was seated next to a lady who was probably around my mom’s age. We got along like a house on fire because we shared a common interest in books. 

When she asked for my number at the end of event to keep in touch, I was taken aback, but now our monthly coffee meetups are something I look forward to. The age gap does not bother me at all.

4 – Less Drama 

You’ve seen it and heard it all, and who has time for drama? Your friendships in your earlier years had a lot of miscommunication, sometimes petty exclusions, weird power dynamics, and plenty of drama.

In your 40’s your friendships are straightforward. We get together because we want to, and we say what we mean.  There’s no space in your busy life for drama mamas. 

5 – Express With Ease

I’m an introvert. A misconception of introverts, is that they tend to steer clear of relationships and people. This is not true.

I have found that as an introvert, I want my relationships to have a deeper connection. And when I have this, I find that being around people I value can re-energise my soul instead of draining it.

Having a deeper connection means you can express what you feel with no apologies. I have learned that this comes much easier to me at this age.

I want people to know upfront how I feel about them. There is no facade. People see the real you without filters, so you connect on a deeper level, which in turn makes your friendships stronger.

Gratitude for the people around you and the friendships you have cultivated is something you should always have. Every friend has a role, and this is something you may only realise later in life.

There will be your lightweight friends and your lifelong friends, each coming with a different depth which you will learn to value and appreciate. It can only get better from here.

This article is from our archives.